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Если б не было войны (Yesli b ne bylo voyny) (英語 の翻訳)

Если б не было войны

Ещё до встречи вышла нам разлука,
И всё же о тебе я вижу сны.
Ну разве мы прожили б друг без друга,
Мой милый, если б не было войны,
Мой милый, если б не было войны.
 
Наверное, я до сорка стала старой,
Да только в этом нет твоей вины.
Какой бы мы красивой были парой,
Мой милый, если б не было войны,
Мой милый, если б не было войны.
 
И снова ты протягиваешь руки,
Зовёшь из невозвратной стороны.
Уже ходили б в школу наши внуки,
Мой милый, если б не было войны,
Мой милый, если б не было войны.
 
Никто калитку стуком не тревожит,
И глохну я от этой тишины.
Ты б старше был, а я была б моложе,
Мой милый, если б не было войны,
Мой милый, если б не было войны.
 
Если б не было войны...
 
______
 
1981
 
Музыка : Марк Минков
Слова : Игорь Шаферан
 
月, 21/05/2018 - 16:59にFolie de ChansonsFolie de Chansonsさんによって投稿されました。
英語 の翻訳英語
段落の整列

If there had been no war

Even before we met, we were to be separated,
And yet I have dreams about you.
Well, we wouldn't have been able to live without each other,
My darling, if there had been no war,
My darling, if there had been no war.
 
I probably got old before my time,
But it's not your fault.
What a beautiful couple we would have been,
My darling, if there had been no war,
My darling, if there had been no war.
 
And again, you stretch out your arms,
You call from the side from which there is no return.
Our grandchildren would have been going to school by now,
My darling, if there had been no war,
My darling, if there had been no war.
 
No one rattles the little gate
And that silence is making me deaf.
You'd be older, and I'd be younger,
My darling, if there had been no war,
My darling, if there had been no war.
 
If there had been no war ...
 
ありがとう!
thanked 5 times
火, 19/05/2020 - 12:05にrobert.tucker.794robert.tucker.794さんによって投稿されました。
水, 16/12/2020 - 21:23にrobert.tucker.794robert.tucker.794さんによって最終編集されました。
Если б не было войны のコレクション
Idioms from "Если б не было войны"
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sashenkasashenka    水, 16/12/2020 - 13:01

Good translation, but the first line of the second verse is actually 'наверное, я до срока стала старой' 'I probably got old before my time'.

Taijiquan XueshengTaijiquan Xuesheng    水, 23/06/2021 - 06:03

Congratulations on such an excellent translation !
The only thing I'd suggest you alter is the line "No one rattles the little gate"
In the russian text, "стук" is not actually "rattle" but "knock" like knocking on the door, so the translation roughly would be "No one DISTURBS our garden gate by KNOCKING on it". The meaning is loneliness, nobody comes back from the grave to visit their loved ones.
Another tiny one is about "the side from which there is no return." In Russian, the word "сторона", apart from the literal meaning "side", can mean "country" or "land", too, e.g. "дальняя сторона" is "a faraway land" . It is an archaic meaning of the word. So the line could sound something like "You beckon from the land of no return" .
But overall, thanks so much -- you've done a great job catching the vibe of this very moving song.

robert.tucker.794robert.tucker.794    木, 24/06/2021 - 08:14

Thank you for your kind comment.

"The other side" is a common idiomatic expression in English for the land of the dead:
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/278600.html

I remember stopping and reflecting on the gate bit. I think it's undoubtedly that she would be at home sitting, cooking the meal, or whatever, and would hear the sound on the gate on his return from work or wherever. Indeed, I wasn't sure of the sound that was intended. English Wiktionary does give "rattle" as a translation of "стук", while Russian Wiktionary seems to define it more as the sound the gate might make closing into its frame. However, I'm not too sure knocking with his knuckles is meant.

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