Ol'ga (Ольга) (영어 번역)

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Ol'ga (Ольга)

Вей, бей, проруха судьба,
Разбуди слов рябиновый слог.
Постучи в дверь, пораскинь снег
По лесам вех, да по полям рек
 
Кто-то не волен зажечь свет,
Кто-то не в силах сказать нет,
Радугой стелется судьба-змея,
Пожирает хвост, а в глазах лед.
А в груди страх, а в душе тоска,
Больно, ей больно, да иначе нельзя.
Но только...
 
Вей, бей, проруха судьба,
Разбуди слов рябиновый слог.
Постучи в дверь, пораскинь снег
По лесам вех, да по полям рек
 
Я так хочу притаиться на твоем плече,
Рассказать слов, рассказать дум.
В карманах порыться и достать лед,
Охладить лоб, охладить лоб.
 
Тикают часики - дин-дон,
Да только стон - звон там за седою горой.
Льется водица по траве век,
По тебе и по мне да по нам с тобой.
Но только...
 
Вей, бей, проруха судьба,
Разбуди слов рябиновый слог.
Постучи в дверь, пораскинь снег
По лесам вех, да по полям рек
 
최종 수정: Sophia_Sophia_, 火, 28/06/2016 - 21:11
영어 번역영어
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Olga

Versions: #1#2
Sweep me and hit me, my troubled fate
Wake the rowan style of my rowan words
Knock on the door, sсatter the snow
Over the forest of milestones, over the the field of rivers
 
Someone cannot kindle the light
Someone cannot say NO,
Like a rainbow my snake-destiny spreads
Eats its own tail, there's ice in its eyes
Fear's in its chest, longing's in its soul
And it's hurting too much, but there's no other way
But...
 
Sweep me and hit me, my troubled fate
Wake the rowan style of my rowan words
Knock on the door, sсatter the snow
Over the forest of milestones, over the the field of rivers
 
I want so much to hide on your shoulder
Tell you some words, tell you some thoughts
To dig in the pocket, and find the ice
To cool my brow, to cool my brow
 
The clock is ticking - "deen-donn",
But there's sound of moan behind the grey hill
Water is flowing over the eyelids of grass
Over me and over you and over both of us,
But...
 
Sweep me and hit me, my troubled fate
Wake the rowan style of my rowan words
Knock on the door, sсatter the snow
Over the forest of milestones, over the the field of rivers
 
Please don't hesitate to correct me, especially if the translation language is your native language.
With Best Regards,
© Alexander Laskavtsev
투고자: Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev, 火, 16/06/2015 - 22:20
Added in reply to request by luckygirl1705luckygirl1705
최종 수정: Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev, 火, 07/07/2015 - 16:30
작성자 코멘트:

I tried to be as much closer to text, as I could.
Some phrases were translated freestyle.
I would be thankful for any corrections.

The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
코멘트
Kashtanka1965Kashtanka1965    水, 17/06/2015 - 04:52

She is hurting too much. May be to use longing instead of depression.My troubled destiny. I want so much to hide on your shouilder( unless you prefer to find myself...)
The clock is ticking. Over the eyelids of grass. Sweep me and hit me my troubled destiny...
It's sounds better then - blow, beat ,...At least, I think so. Someone not free to light up... I'm not an expert in English, but I can pick up when something not sounds right.
Всех благ
Анатолий

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    水, 17/06/2015 - 05:02

Thank you for your comments
Destiny is an inanimate object. So definitely not "She"
"Longing" - agree, correcting.
"Sweep me and hit" - Superb!, I'll use it!
"to hide" - sounds nice as well.
The rest phrases sound so in order to get more "singability"
I try to use a creative approach, you know...
Большое спасибо!
Удачи!
Александр.