Érzés (Engels vertaling)

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Engels vertaling

Feeling

Each feeling you gave me
Was good for me
Everything what was you
Was good for me
Each of your words
Touches me, burns me
Locks you up inside my heart
 
Everything you gave
Will be guarded faithfully as long as I live
I will always look for you
Till I reach you
Each of your words
Touches me, burns me
Locks you up inside my heart
 
Ref.:
Where is that nice world?
It's far for you
But sometimes you yearn to be high
And as a falling stone you dive
Each road converges
The light gets out of the shadow
But once think of me, think of me!
 
Toegevoed door Jolly Rogers op Di, 16/10/2018 - 18:41
Added in reply to request by Vadvirag33
Laatst bewerkt door Jolly Rogers op Do, 18/10/2018 - 19:55
Hongaars

Érzés

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Saluton    Di, 16/10/2018 - 19:18

feeling what you gave me → feeling that you gave me
Everything what → Everything that
till I live → as long as I live
as a falling stone → like a falling stone
"Closes you into my heart", "I will always start to search you" - what does it mean?

Your level of English is too low to be called "fluent," sorry

Jolly Rogers    Woe, 17/10/2018 - 18:53

Dear Saluton,

I've been using the English for my work for about 25 years. I have a few business partners all over Europe and it seems my English was good enough for them until now. Wouldn't they dare to tell me that they don't understand me? I will ask them next time.
It seems my low level English was good enough for translating about 130 songs here. These translations were read by about 250.000 people. Well, what would happen if my English was fluent?
So, what could I say to your comment? WOW!!

ingirumimusnocte    Woe, 17/10/2018 - 19:43

I don't know about your experience with English, but "Each feeling what you gave me" is definitely wrong.
The relative pronoun "that" must be used (or nothing at all). See "What: typical errors" section here

"until I live" would mean "as long as I don't live", as in "until I live in the UK, I won't learn English".

"as a falling stone" is ok, but Saluton's suggestion sounds more usual

"Closes you into my heart" and "I will always start to search you" sound indeed very odd. "Close something into something" doesn't really mean anything ("enclose" would), and you'd better use "look for you": "searching you" would mean you perform a body search on someone.

I'm sorry to say I second every Saluton's remark, and I wonder why you seem to be offended by them. I find them quite helpful and constructive.

Jolly Rogers    Do, 18/10/2018 - 18:27

Well, I'm offended because of his last remark. That was not so "helpful and constructive".
Please translate this sentence for me:
Minden szavad, megérint, megéget, bezár szívembe téged.
How does it sound in English?
Each of your words, touches me, burns me, closes you to my heart.
It's singular as "each word" does something. One touches, one burns, one closes you to my heart.
What would be your suggestion?

ingirumimusnocte    Do, 18/10/2018 - 18:55

I agree the last line was hardly helpful, I was just talking about English grammar and vocabulary.

I don't speak Hungarian at all so I can hardly suggest anything relevant.
Apparently "bezár" means "lock up" and following your translation it's her being locked up, so I'd say
"Each of your words touches me, burns me, locks you up inside my heart".
You could probably find a nicer equivalent for "lock up", but I would need to understand the original to suggest something better.

Jolly Rogers    Do, 18/10/2018 - 19:52

It sounds very good. Because it fits to the rythm of the song. If you listen to it you can hear the singer says: Bezáááár, szívembe téged. It can be replaced with Looocks you.....
Thank you!

BlackSea4ever    Do, 18/10/2018 - 18:36

In my opinion, he should have contacted you privately to correct mistakes and to help you correct them. It's what I do and if person is unresponsive, I let it be. His objective is to have a grammatically correct translation, which is admirable, especially if done without humiliation being dished out. As far as your experience, oral English is forgiving - they will understand the intent, but translations need to be observing grammar so .... Lol, you can take some punches for the betterment of your work, no?

Jolly Rogers    Do, 18/10/2018 - 19:29

I don't mind public dispute or comment about my translations. I also understand that a translation has to be grammaticaly correct. But as you were able to help me without unwanted remarks, he also could have done it. Yes, you are right. Oral English is forgiving and I've already heard several people using "what" and "that" in very interesting ways.
Well, after five years membership here, it was not a punch, but a K.O. Teeth smile