السلام عليك (Engels vertaling)

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السلام عليك

أنت يا والدة الإله العذراء
سور للعذارى ولجميع اللائذين بك
لأن مبدع السماء والأرض أعدك يا طاهرة
فسكن في أحشائك وعلم الجميع أن يهتفوا إليك
السلام السلام السلام عليك
السلام عليك يا عنوان البتولية
السلام عليك يا خلاص
السلام عليك يا سيدة سلام العالم
السلام عليك يا من ولدت المسيح إلاها
افرحي ، افرحي ، افرحي ، يا يا يا يا يا عروسته
يا عروسنا
Toegevoegd door Readwriting BonnetReadwriting Bonnet op Do, 22/10/2020 - 13:04
Engels vertalingEngels
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You, the Virgin Mother of the Lord
A wall for the celibate and for all who seek refuge in You
For the Innovator of the Heavens and the Earth has prepared You, O Pure One
By residing within Your viscera, and taught all men that they should call to You:
"Hail, Hail, Hail
Hail the Embodiment of Celibacy
Hail Salvation
Hail Our Lady of the Peace of the World
Hail the Theotokos of Christ
Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice, O O O O O His Bride
O Our Bride"
thanked 3 times
Toegevoegd door Readwriting BonnetReadwriting Bonnet op Do, 22/10/2020 - 13:11
The author of translation requested proofreading.
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Vertalingen van "السلام عليك"
Eva PriestleyEva Priestley    Do, 22/10/2020 - 15:00

Amazing! You wouldn't believe how long I have waited to know the meaning of this song.
It definitely sounds very Christian, I have to give you kudos for that
The only tweaks I would make (if you agree they are an appropriate translation of the Arabic) would be:

- For the Innovator of the Heavens and the Earth has prepared You
- and taught all mankind to call on you

Would you be able to provide more insight into the word أحشائك?

Readwriting BonnetReadwriting Bonnet    Do, 22/10/2020 - 16:58

You'd probably surmised it wasn't going to be quite as sexy as funk carioca, but how do you feel about the lyrics now that you finally understand them?

I should point out that there should be a colon after "call to you:" So the "hail, hail, hail," that's what the people are calling. Would it still be better in this case to change it to "call on"?

أحشاء is the technical anatomical term for the organs inside the body cavities, referred to collectively. It comes from the root 7-sh-y, which means "to stuff," whence also "ma7shi," which is the name of a very tasty dish of vegetables stuffed with rice and herbs. So basically "human stuffing" is what this says! In English, "viscera" is a medical term, I think perhaps something like "entrails" would give it a more religious feel in English. Or should I just go with "womb" like it says in "Ave Maria"? I like "entrails" because it really focuses on the physical aspect of the relationship between Jesus and Mary, "womb" isn't as potent in this regard to me, although it could give the lyrics a more feminist edge?

What about "fence," "innovator," "prepared," "embodiment of celibacy," and "peace of the world"? They all feel a bit mundane to me; can you think of any synonyms that are more commonly used in Christian practice? The word for "fence" in particular is the same one used in Islamic tradition to refer to the equivalent of "Gabriel's Horn." So I'm wondering whether this could be a reference to a musical instrument or something?

Eva PriestleyEva Priestley    Do, 22/10/2020 - 17:50

Arguably nothing is as sexy (or should I say, so sex forward) as funk carioca

Ah with that in mind, “call to you” is probably a lot more appropriate - thanks for clearing that up!

In terms of أحشاء, “entrails” does sound a bit violent as its used mostly in crime or medical circumstances - “viscera” sounds poetic and could definitely work, I’ve heard “womb” used a lot (fruit of thy womb etc) and it’d probably be what I’d be inclined to go with (seeing as God technically inhabited Mary’s body via her womb) but I understand رحم is the most often used term for “womb”

I’m not sure what you’re referring to with “fence”, as for the others it would depend on any differences in translation you could think of that would fit with the imagery - I think prepared definitely works tho

Readwriting BonnetReadwriting Bonnet    Vrij, 23/10/2020 - 09:06

You're right about ra7im. If I choose to translate it to "womb," it would definitely be a departure from the original text.

KitKat1KitKat1    Vrij, 23/10/2020 - 05:05

I’ve always thought of أحشاء as “guts” but that I’m not sure that improves the poetry.

For سور، perhaps “boundary” (less literal than fence or wall)?

But not my area of expertise. I’m again just very impressed!

Readwriting BonnetReadwriting Bonnet    Vrij, 23/10/2020 - 09:05

Thank you; such a polite kitti-kat! Tongue smile

I think I'll stick with "viscera" since Eva likes it best.

But you know, I actually like "wall," now that you mention it! Like with the "Wailing Wall"; it's got that feel to it, hasn't it? Like Eva, I'm not getting the symbolic significance of "as-sour" in the first place really: wouldn't you want your saint to be a door rather than a wall? But I personally think making it more concrete serves the religious meaning more so than making it abstract. And walls are literally *made* of "concrete"... please don't scratch me, no, doooon't!

KitKat1KitKat1    Zat, 24/10/2020 - 06:05

Only purrs from this KitKat. Your translations are sublime.

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