Jokes/Aνέκδοτα

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<a href="/nl/translator/aldefina" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1152070">Aldefina</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.01.2013

[@Lunky]: I'm sorry the 69 position doesn't exist anymore. It's the part of the history. Now it's called 96. Wink smile

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<a href="/nl/translator/aldefina" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1152070">Aldefina</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.01.2013

Masha, I guess you wanted to write "lose" or maybe "looose". Wink smile

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<a href="/nl/translator/igeethecat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1365086">Igeethecat</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.12.2017

Yeah, I lost one "O" in translation Wink smile

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<a href="/nl/translator/aldefina" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1152070">Aldefina</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.01.2013

Deanna, I didn't get what a wrong conclusions you had meant. There are many parallels between the Polish government and the Islamic State. The only difference is the religion, which in both cases is the only thing they care about.

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<a href="/nl/translator/blacksea4ever" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1390089">BlackSea4ever</a>
Lid geworden op: 19.07.2018

I guess I was not successful - I was attempting to make a joke that blowjob and business loss went one after another. Never mind me.

Yes, you are correct and the worst part is that religion is the means of control rather than true faith.

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<a href="/nl/translator/aldefina" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1152070">Aldefina</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.01.2013

Exactly, and that's not the reason why we need a government. Anyway in Poland we have the same problem as in Spain, US and A ( Wink smile ) and most of the countries in the world - there's no one to choose from. We miss normal politicians. In Poland the only thing the opposition can propose is to get rid of PiS. During so called Arabian Spring I asked one African what was really going on. His explanation made me laugh, but it was true: Another one wants to steal and rob, so the old "ladron" has to be overthrown.

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<a href="/nl/translator/igeethecat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1365086">Igeethecat</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.12.2017

And when I say a dirty joke, they send me to a sandbox или во благо 😂

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<a href="/nl/translator/blacksea4ever" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1390089">BlackSea4ever</a>
Lid geworden op: 19.07.2018

Problem is that rulers are rarely driven by altruism or any desire to serve people. Idealists are laughed at. Greedy self serving bastards are rewarded. The worst part, the alternative facts [known to us all as propaganda] is what’s fed to the masses which produces [also known to us] herd immunity to face the truth.

Let’s go back to joking, no?

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<a href="/nl/translator/igeethecat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1365086">Igeethecat</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.12.2017

Холмс — Ватсону: — Кого-то скоро убьют в нашем тихом районе. — Как вы узнали, Холмс? — Есть старая добрая английская примета: когда приезжает мисс Марпл, кого-то скоро замочат.

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<a href="/nl/translator/lunky" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1442798">Lunky</a>
Lid geworden op: 03.01.2020

Mary had a little skirt, that was split right up the side,
and when she walked along the street, you could see her luscious thighs,
Mary had another skirt, that was split right up the front,
but she never wore that one....

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<a href="/nl/translator/brat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1334845">Brat</a>
Lid geworden op: 13.04.2017

... and, guess you, because of — what?

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<a href="/nl/translator/lunky" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1442798">Lunky</a>
Lid geworden op: 03.01.2020

I'll leave that to your imagination. Wink smile

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<a href="/nl/translator/brat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1334845">Brat</a>
Lid geworden op: 13.04.2017

There's little space for imagination, because the synonymic answer still rhymes...

Editor Soldier of Love
<a href="/nl/translator/flopsi" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1331196">Flopsi</a>
Lid geworden op: 12.03.2017

A rabbi and a priest are going for a walk. It's hot and they're sweating. The rabbi suggestes a dip in the water. The priest doesn't want to because they've got no swimwear with them. Finally the rabbi convinced the priest. After they cooled down they get out of the water. Before they can get dressed some people pass by. The rabbi covers his face, the priest his crotch. The priest asks the rabbi why he had covered his face with his hands. He answered: "Well, people know me by my face."

Super Member
<a href="/nl/translator/blacksea4ever" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1390089">BlackSea4ever</a>
Lid geworden op: 19.07.2018

The ship stuck in the Suez should be named in honor of Mitch McConnell: It's big, full of crap, and obstructing everything in its path.

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<a href="/nl/translator/aldefina" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1152070">Aldefina</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.01.2013

What's the difference between the capitalism and the communism?

In capitalism a man exploits the other man and in communism it's the other way round.

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<a href="/nl/translator/aldefina" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1152070">Aldefina</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.01.2013

That joke reminds me of this one:

It's of course not about the capitalism, but monarchy, but as for exploiting people there's not much difference.

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<a href="/nl/translator/blacksea4ever" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1390089">BlackSea4ever</a>
Lid geworden op: 19.07.2018

I was reminded of this when I heard Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce.
Husband: if I leave you for another woman, would you feel terribly bad?
Wife: why would I feel bad for some woman stranger!

Super Member
<a href="/nl/translator/blacksea4ever" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1390089">BlackSea4ever</a>
Lid geworden op: 19.07.2018

Одесский анекдот...
— Ой, я такая толстая и одинокая!
— Ну где вы толстая - покажите!
— Может мне вам ещё показать, где я одинокая!

Super Member
<a href="/nl/translator/igeethecat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1365086">Igeethecat</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.12.2017

В одесском порту у самого причала всплывает русалка с маленьким ребенком на руках и обращается к толпе любопытных:
- А где здесь живет водолаз Жора?

Happy Mother's Day, Одесса-мама 🤣

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<a href="/nl/translator/jadis" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1387945">Jadis</a>
Lid geworden op: 01.07.2018

- Это вы спасли моего маленького мальчика от утопления?
(Скромный ответ) :
- Был я.
- Так где его шляпа?

Super Member
<a href="/nl/translator/igeethecat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1365086">Igeethecat</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.12.2017

— Что нужно сделать, чтобы повысить урожайность в России?
— Надо прекратить лить говно друг на друга и начинать вывозить его на поля.

Super Member
<a href="/nl/translator/vevvev" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1405697">vevvev</a>
Lid geworden op: 14.12.2018

Отчет председателя колхоза:
У прошлом роке мы засеяли 5 га бурака. Всё поив довгоносик. В этом роке мы засеяли 10 га бурака. Всё поив довгоносик. В будущем роке засеем 15 га бурака, нехай вин подавиться Regular smile

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<a href="/nl/translator/jadis" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1387945">Jadis</a>
Lid geworden op: 01.07.2018

Чем больше неудач, тем больше вероятность того, что однажды все получится.

Super Member
<a href="/nl/translator/igeethecat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1365086">Igeethecat</a>
Lid geworden op: 16.12.2017

А это не наше Ну погоди! ?

Super Member
<a href="/nl/translator/jadis" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1387945">Jadis</a>
Lid geworden op: 01.07.2018

I would say no, the "Shadoks" were based on a complete absurd logics. The aesthetics was poor, but the sarcastic meanings (added to the particular voice of Claude Piéplu) left their traces. Even nowadays, you would find people to explain you, in a tongue-in-the-cheek way, that if something has 999 chances out of 1000 to fail, so you'd better hasten to do the 999 first trials, because the 1000th will bring success.

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<a href="/nl/translator/jadis" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1387945">Jadis</a>
Lid geworden op: 01.07.2018

(Forbidden to minors)

It's about a guy who comes home in the evening completely drunk, in the company of a girl.

He's so drunk he has to lean on a porch, and then he starts yelling:
- Well, kitty, do you see the BMW there? OK, I'll lay you down on the bonnet, I'll rip off your skirt and your underwear, and I'll take you like a beast, you'll see stars, I swear! You're going to cry for your mother! Got what I said? I feel like Superman tonight!

Then a window opens on the third floor and a voice shouts:
- Hey Superman, take her any way you want, but get your damn finger off the intercom!

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