[@altermetax] Ciao! Would you mind checking this translation of mine? I don't feel I did a good job with the 'consumato' lines (I thought of using 'wasted' or 'worn out', would those make sense?). Also, the 'Che non sa gridare Hallelujah' was tricky... Who should be the subject here? I'm unsure I understood correctly... Thanks in advance - PS: Tagging you because I noticed you were/are active xD
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
- 1. 'fuoco' means both 'fire' and 'focus' in Italian, so it's likely this verse includes wordplay with the previous one.
bedankt! ❤ | ||
Thanks to altermetax for providing very useful suggestions of improvements.
1. | Una voce per San Marino 2022 |
Hi Juan :D
The first two lines of the song are a sequence of words trying to convey a meaning without being an actual sentence (I don't know if there's a word for that – it's a short stream of consciousness). A non-literal translation could be:
So much to say
But lots of question marks, that's who I am
Feel free to convey the “that's who I am” in a different way if it sounds a bit too unnatural to you ;)
“Nella rabbia dei 16” means “In the anger of when you're 16” or “In the anger of being 16” or “In my anger at 16”. Kind of hard to express poetically in English to be honest.
“If I'm an usual guy” → “If I'm a usual guy” (usual starts with a consonant sound: yusual)
Either way, I'd probably swap out “usual” for “ordinary” here.
I fixed the lyrics:
“Consumato troppo sale” → “Consumato da troppo sale”
So now a possible translation of those two lines is:
Consumed by too much salt
Too much sun(shine) or too lonely
The sentence is using a figure of speech that relies on the fact that “sole” and “solo” sound similar, it doesn't work in a language where they don't (it just sounds like a mistake), so you could fix it with a less literal translation that makes a bit more sense:
Consumed by too much salt
Too much sun(shine) or too much loneliness
I think “consumed” does work in English to say exhausted/overwhelmed (figuratively) and worn out (literally) at the same time.
In “Che non sa gridare Hallelujah” the word “che” refers to the “sea” in the previous stanza, so, depending on whether you want to personify it or not, you might choose “which” instead of “who”. Or maybe just choose “that” to avoid the problem altogether. “Which” and “who” also make the phrase “Who doesn't know how to shout Hallelujah” sound like a question while it's not, it's a continuation of the previous sentence.
In the next instance of that line, the “che” refers to the salt in the previous stanza.
In “Rabbia e benzina” I would rather translate “benzina” with “gasoline” or “fuel”. From a quick web search it looks like the English “benzine” is a name for petroleum ether, which is not what the Italian “benzina” means. Your translation of “Ma ho gli occhi fuori fuoco” is correct, but it could be worth it to include a note that says that “fuoco” means both “focus” and “fire” in Italian (it must be a word play referencing the fuel in the previous line).
“A te che cosa cambia” means “What difference does it make to you”
Not sure about what is meant with “Dopo le tegole” (“After the (roof) tiles”) XD
Hope I helped, feel free to ask if you have any doubts :D
Thanks, Mattia, for your help and edit! I did listen to the song as I translated it, but 'da' is such a small word that it passed unnoticed xD
Well, at least in Portuguese (and maybe Spanish) it's possible to keep that word play, will do it in my translation as well.
That 'Ma ho gli occhi fuori fuoco' line was also tricky... I almost translated literally, honestly.
I will check both of my translations now, grazie ancora :)
You're welcome ;)
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