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Yellow Roses

Again, this merry month of May
comes to a sleepy world.
I again, remembering all the things
that did not happen,
I'll go to this spring garden,
like [so] many years ago,
I pick [from the garden] this bouquet of yellow roses.
I'll go to this spring garden,
like [so] many years ago,
I pick [from the garden] this bouquet of yellow roses
 
These yellow roses
In the tender light of sunset
As tears of farewell, as tears of farewell
Perhaps we met late then?
[Our] memory has remained
Yellow roses.
 
And in that distant day
the earth blossomed around [us] just like [now].
I saw you off,
I cannot hold back my tears.
You took away with you
my greetings of goodbye:
A large bouquet of yellow roses.
You took away with you
my greetings of goodbye:
A large bouquet of yellow roses.
 
These yellow roses
In the tender light of sunset
As tears of farewell, as tears of farewell
Perhaps we met late then?
[Our] memory has remained
Yellow roses.
 
These yellow roses
In the tender light of sunset
As tears of farewell, as tears of farewell
Perhaps we met late then?
[Our] memory has remained
Yellow roses.
 
[Our] memory has remained
Yellow roses...
 
Originele teksten

Жёлтые розы

Klik om de originele tekst te zien. (Russisch)

Gegeven reacties
IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 01:29

This translation looks odd. “Narva bouquet of yellow roses” sounds like GT, and there are some other ‘glitches’ that make me think that either translator doesn’t understand lyrics or it’s GT’s fault

chatoyantchatoyant
   Zat, 26/05/2018 - 02:06

Thank you for pointing this out. I'll be taking a look at this again and posting a new translation soon. :)

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 02:09

Punctuation in the original lyrics is not quite right, it makes translation more difficult for foreigners. If you need help, PM me

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 02:21

BTW, нарвал(а) - нарвать - it’s about picking flowers, not choosing or gifting, more like picking from the field, flower bed, bush, plant, etc.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 03:36

В который раз -> rather "again and again"

Что не сбылось - it’s about dreams that didn’t come true

Встретились поздно когда-то - «белые столбы», but don’t call for big hammer on this one ;) - they probably meant ‘once / some time ago we met, but it was too late

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 03:05

And you got the rest of rest yellow roses :)

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 03:13

And as I remember, in ‘some antique Russian meaning of flowers’, yellow roses were “символ разлуки” ;(

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 03:21

Красные розы - символ любви

Not sure about happiness- maybe lilies :o

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 03:40

And don’t bring even number of flowers, like a dozen. Even numbers of flowers they bring to the graves, to deceased... another Russian superstition

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 03:54

Haha, just go with fleurs de lys

sandringsandring    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 08:00

Pierre, some tips for your dating a Russian girl.
1. First date - One huge white rose on a long stem/ a bunch of field flowers
2. Further on - red roses or any bouquet (an odd number, please)
3. Saying farewell - 13 yellow roses (Thank you, dear, but it just didn't happen)

A bouquet is an arranged bunch of flowers which you buy. If you pick them yourself it's not a bouquet, it's a bunch of yellow roses. :)

chatoyantchatoyant
   Zat, 26/05/2018 - 11:23

Wow, so many helpful comments! The textures in this frenetically paced song--typical of the melodies in the language I've recently encountered--are amazing, and so are the words. But the challenges presented in the translation are a good reminder of how difficult Russian is. It's great how we also opened a discussion re: flowers--always a good subject to talk about.

Your generous tips will help make this translation perfect once I incorporate the suggested changes. Again, thank you! :)

chatoyantchatoyant
   Zat, 26/05/2018 - 15:39

Thanks to all for your most helpful suggestions. Just updated the translation Would not have been possible to render this as faithfully as it now is without your assistance. We've been reminded also of how punctuation can affect meaning, so that's something I'll be paying more attention to. In addition, I enjoy the cultural comments re: flowers. :) I appreciate your time and once again thank you!

- Daniel

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 16:19

Мои 5 копеек - всё понятно без square brackets, except “saw you off”

chatoyantchatoyant
   Zat, 26/05/2018 - 16:26

More great catches! Thanks! :)

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 19:28

Сдержать не в силах слез.

Another trap for foreigners. I am not giving you a solution, I am just trying to explain you the meaning

Сдержать - сдерживать = hold on
Не в силах - нет сил - adds a negative, but it does really implies any force

Two together plus tears mean more like “I cannot hold my tears”, “it’s beyond my power to not to cry” (I don’t like this one in English )

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 19:51

And you don’t have to say “Again and again” , in this context just “again” should be enough, I think. It’s up to your native English senses, really. We can bla-bla-bla about things here, but it is your decision to choose the right words for your translation

chatoyantchatoyant
   Zat, 26/05/2018 - 19:58

What a beautiful transformation of the lyrics into English. It sounds much, much better and smoother now. Thank you for the helpful linguistic tips and reminders! I really appreciate the time you took.

- Daniel

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 20:09

Maybe it’s just my Russian mind, but I don’t understand why you English natives [not just you specifically] keep the square brackets? Just say what you feel, what feels right for you

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 20:28

Yeah, and yeah and yeah, but still why?

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Zat, 26/05/2018 - 19:35

In the tender light of dawn

Sounds very nice, but in Russian it is sunset, not sunrise

chatoyantchatoyant
   Zat, 26/05/2018 - 19:56

Silly how I confuse these two beautiful words. Thank you for the correction! :)