Kogda-nibud' (Когда-нибудь) (tłumaczenie na angielski)

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Kogda-nibud' (Когда-нибудь)

Я вижу свет в твоих глазах,
Как очертания мечты...
Тебя искал я в долгих снах.
Не думала ты...
Я посвящал тебе стихи
И ждал с тобою встречи вновь...
Приди ко мне и помоги, -
Верни мне любовь...
 
Когда-нибудь узнаешь ты
И сбудутся мои мечты,
Нас обвенчает свет на сотни тысяч лет...
Когда-нибудь услышу я
Как ты мне скажешь: "я твоя!"
И грянут небеса,
Взлетим на парусах!
 
Я напишу тебе письмо
О том, что я скучаю вновь...
С тобой не виделись давно...
Это - любовь!
 
Навеки связаны судьбой,
Нас разделяют города,
А я живу одной мечтой:
Моей будь всегда!
 
Когда-нибудь узнаешь ты
И сбудутся мои мечты,
Нас обвенчает свет на сотни тысяч лет...
Когда-нибудь услышу я
Как ты мне скажешь: "я твоя!"
И грянут небеса,
Взлетим на парусах!
 
Когда-нибудь, о-о, о-о!
Когда-нибудь, о-о, о-о, о-о!
 
Udostępniono przez wuhuahua089wuhuahua089 dnia pon., 20/02/2017 - 09:19
Ostatnio edytowano przez Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev dnia wt., 07/03/2017 - 18:34
Komentarz wysyłającego:
tłumaczenie na angielskiangielski
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Someday

I see the light inside your eyes,
It's like the outlines of a dream...
And I've been searching for you in the long dreams.
You didn't think...
I dedicated the poems to you
And waiting for you to meet again...
Come to me and help me, -
Give me back my love...
 
Someday you'll get to know
And all my dreams will come true,
We'll be betrothed by the light for hundreds of thousands years...
Someday I will hear
How you'll be saying: "I am yours!"
There will be thunder out of the skies
We'll take off on sail!
 
I will write you a letter,
About how I'm missing you again...
Long time we haven't seen each other...
This is love!
 
We're tied by a destiny,
The cities separate us,
But I live with one dream:
You should be always mine!
 
Someday you'll get to know
And all my dreams will come true,
We'll be betrothed by the light for hundreds of thousands years...
Someday I will hear
How you'll be saying: "I am yours!"
There will be thunder out of the skies
We'll take off on sail!
 
Someday, o-o, o-o!
Someday, o-o, o-o, o-o!
 
Please don't hesitate to correct me, especially if the translation language is your native language.
With Best Regards,
© Alexander Laskavtsev
Udostępniono przez Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev dnia wt., 07/03/2017 - 14:35
Dodane w odpowiedzi na prośbę wuhuahua089wuhuahua089
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Moje komentarze
RobinKRobinK    wt., 07/03/2017 - 20:47

Hi Alex,

Beautiful translation and very poetic! Here are a few minor changes I might suggest:

• очертания – I would say “outline” instead of “drawings”
• “I’ve been searching FOR you in the long dreams”
• “I dedicated the poems to you”
• Навеки связаны судьбой – “We’ve been forever bound together by fate”
• Взлетим на парусах! – “We’ll sail away!”

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    wt., 07/03/2017 - 20:55

Hi, Robin,

Thanks for your corrections and suggestions. I was surprised to be honest for I wasn't intended to make this translation poetic at all Regular smile

P.S. "We’ll sail away!" (like "fly away", I understood your idea, but still...) sounds wrong to me... Here the meaning is "they will be flying high, and take off from the ground with the help of the sail"

P.P.S. I've been always thinking that "fate" is some BAD destiny, something inevitable and hard. Isn't it? If it is, then I don't think that this word fits here.

RobinKRobinK    wt., 07/03/2017 - 23:37

Yeah actually you're right about fate, it does tend to carry more - shall we say - "fatalistic" connotations. Destiny is probably better in this case. Usually I see Sud'ba translated as Fate in English but it can just as easily be Destiny.

Actually I don't know about the sailing line. Maybe what you had originally would be better.

RobinKRobinK    pt., 10/03/2017 - 20:57

I want to! I've missed you guys Regular smile