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The Star

Howling wolves and barking dogs,
Fist clenched tight until fingers hurt,
Blood in the veins throbs like a bird,
Faith and Hope and Love on the Earth.
Scores of bare hands are voting like one,
Flying high's our flag.
Deep dark-blue sky and the circle of sun,
All in place yet the life hit a snag.
 
High in the night sky the star shines bright,
No one but her can help us in this fight,
When darkness falls on the Earth at night,
Night.
 
Night arrived, then storm came around,
Somber rain, and jester the wind.
Hands in the pockets, eyes are down,
And the tongues behind teeth.
My silent longing still gnaws at me,
She's the faithful soulmate of mine.
Go on a bat, drink, dance and sing,
I'm with you for now.
 
High in the night sky the star shines bright,
No one but her can help us in this fight,
When darkness falls on the Earth at night,
Night.
 
High in the night sky the star shines bright,
No one but her can help us in this fight,
When darkness falls on the Earth at night,
Night.
 
Oryginalne teksty (piosenek)

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Komentarze
PinchusPinchus    niedz., 17/11/2019 - 02:04

Отлично! А почему звезда девочка в переводе?
fight здесь, мне кажется, не самое подходящее слово. Понимаю, что рифму непросто подобрать. No one but her light?

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    niedz., 17/11/2019 - 02:21

Maybe use of gender can be footnoted, but it was perfectly personified, IMHO, for both star and sorrow

St. SolSt. Sol
   niedz., 17/11/2019 - 02:43

One of my old translations, all feelings and the star are personified as noted by D, the "fight" (as "our daily struggle") was chosen, based on the prevailing themes in VT lyrics. Regards.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    niedz., 17/11/2019 - 02:49

Btw, I can now better explain why there are few thanks. I went thru several, ok too many, songs today and some made me think about all the subtlety in meanings that was previously lost on me. I just now realized I didn't leave many thanks where most were appreciated. I'll be mindful of that.
Glad you stayed.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    niedz., 17/11/2019 - 03:25

Синее небо да солнца круг.
Все на месте, да что-то не так. —> sounds like one of your past avatars ;)
Какой вы загадочный, Ст!

St. SolSt. Sol
   niedz., 17/11/2019 - 03:29

Children of Kronos despise what others call "our sun"

IgeethecatIgeethecat    niedz., 17/11/2019 - 03:42

Ох, как грустно, Я более надеялась на «Гульчитай, открой личико»

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    niedz., 17/11/2019 - 04:26
St. SolSt. Sol
   niedz., 17/11/2019 - 04:34

The trochee meter [^- ^- ...] and unstressed articles in the beginning of the lines don't mix very well.
Go on a bat - a posted idiom (highlighted by LT)
And the tongues behind teeth - what is wrong with it?