Une rose rouge, rouge
Convidado em 2018-09-16| 1. | Poems in endangered languages |
| 1. | Auld Lang Syne |
| 2. | Red, Red Rose |
| 3. | To A Mouse |
michealt
Quarta-feira, 19/09/2018 - 10:41
I'm a bit horrified to see thou and thee translated as vous and vous instead of tu and toi - this is late 18th century Scots (or maybe late 18th century South Western Scottish English - Burns used both and sometimes it's hard to say which he is using) and "thou" and its accusative/dative form are clearly familiar/informal singular.
as fair .... so deep ...
This is just saying that her beauty is great and his love is equally great - it doesn't say that his love is caused by her beauty or that if her beauty were to increase or decrease than his love would increase or decrease in step. "est égale" sounds about right to me, and "plus...plus" seems to me to suggest a cause and effect relationship, but maybe that's me misunderstanding French.
"were" in the last line is past subjunctive, not conditional. But translating it as a conditional is OK, as English muddles the two all over the place and is getting more muddled (my children almost certainly couldn't distinguish them except that they treat the past subjunctive as acounterfactual conditional as opposed to possibly factual or not) and their children are being taught to treat the old past subjunctive as an old-fashioned way of expressing a conditional).
"fare thee well" - this is either a (jussive) subjunctive (so expresses a command or indicates a wish/desire) or is ordinary imperative. Not really like "je vous présente mes adieux".
michealt
Quarta-feira, 19/09/2018 - 14:22
I like the cound of "Dieu te garde" (but "Porte-toi bien" is very close to a literal translation, so perhaps is better).
"Tho it were 10000 miles" is indeed "even though it were ..." (or "even if it was ...", if you prefer that )
The lack of similarity in the comparison in the second verse might be a problem, but maybe it isn't really expressing a comparison where depth is measured agains fairness, but a comparison that says the degree of the depth and that of the fairness are similarly high. I would struggle to find a clean and tidy way of expressing without referring to the degrees/extents rather than the things the measure - and degree is surely a word that would never be used in poetry. Hence something that looks like an unbalanced comparison - and I've no idea how it would be done in French - how would one say in French "the depth of my love is equivalent to the height of your fairness" (and would anyone ever say that in English or Scots anyway, other than in poetry)?
sandring 
Klou
typo 4/3-Et je "viendra "à nouveau, mon Amour,