Никто ничего не отнял!.. (Nikto nichego ne otnyal) (traducere în Engleză)

Никто ничего не отнял!..

Никто ничего не отнял!
Мне сладостно, что мы врозь.
Целую Вас — через сотни
Разъединяющих верст.
 
Я знаю, наш дар — неравен,
Мой голос впервые — тих.
Что Вам, молодой Державин,
Мой невоспитанный стих!
 
На страшный полет крещу Вас:
Лети, молодой орел!
Ты солнце стерпел, не щурясь, —
Юный ли взгляд мой тяжел?
 
Нежней и бесповоротней
Никто не глядел Вам вслед…
Целую Вас — через сотни
Разъединяющих лет.
 
Postat de Eugenia NEugenia N la Sâmbătă, 27/11/2021 - 15:19
Ultima oară editat de Valeriu RautValeriu Raut în data Sâmbătă, 27/11/2021 - 16:51
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We didn't take anything away from each other

Versiuni: #1#2
We didn't take anything away from each other,
I'm feel freely, that we're apart,
I kiss you across the distance in hundred
Kilometers, separating us.
 
I know our talents are not comparable,
My voice is quiet for the first time,
My young Derzhavin, you don't care
About my amateur poetry!
 
Let your dangerous flight end safely,
Fly, the young eagle,
You withstood the sun without squinting,
The gaze of my young eyes can hardly embarrass you.
 
No one looked after you
So tenderly and devotedly, like I do,
I kiss you across hundreds
Of years, separating us.
 
Mulțumesc!
1 (de) mulțumiri
Postat de Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov la Duminică, 28/11/2021 - 08:43
Comentariile autorului:

G. Derzhavin is the great Russian poet of 18-19th centuries. It's interesting, who is she talking to?

Comentarii
Valeriu RautValeriu Raut    Duminică, 28/11/2021 - 09:46

Actually, Marina is talking to the Russian poet
Osip Mandelstam, with whom she has had a love affair.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Duminică, 28/11/2021 - 12:45

Please consider:
> I feel good, that we're apart — I relish that we are apart (and kilometers??? No way. Regular smile perhaps: I kiss you across the great distance separating us)
> We didn't take anything away from each other, — no one took anything away!
> I know our talents are not comparable, — I know, our gift - unequal,
> My voice is quiet for the first time, — My virgin (new, amateur, fledgling) voice - qualm
> My young Derzhavin, My weak verse is nothing to you! — My young Derzhavin, what’s it to you - my unrefined verse!
> Let your dangerous flight be blessed, — him not the flight. Something like: For the dreadful flight, I christen You:
> You looked at the sun without squinting, — you bore sun’s light without squinting —
My young look can hardly be torn for you. — this needs some work. Something like: is my youthful gaze too harsh?
> no comma in the last line. I kiss you across hundreds of years dividing us.

Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov    Duminică, 28/11/2021 - 13:10

Hi! Before starting to correct I must understand:

Целую Вас — через сотни
Разъединяющих лет.

How is it, what's the sense?

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Duminică, 28/11/2021 - 14:27

“Её мелодия раскрывает силу любви, которую удалось сохранить и через время, и через расстояние («через сотни разъединяющих вёрст», «через сотни разъединяющих лет»)”

https://rustih.ru/marina-cvetaeva-nikto-nichego-ne-otnyal/

There are also a couple translations into English out there, but I think we can do better. 😉

Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov    Duminică, 28/11/2021 - 19:20

А на что она его крестит? На какой "страшный полет"? Он же не летчик.

Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov    Duminică, 28/11/2021 - 19:55

I refuse. I want to read poetry (to relax), not literary critics (to study). It requires strength, which I haven't.

JadisJadis    Duminică, 28/11/2021 - 20:05

There is some information here. Derzhavin was indeed not a pilot, nor a cosmonaut, as it seems.

Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov    Luni, 29/11/2021 - 10:59

Так что за полет и куда, все -таки? Она крестит героя (О. Мандельштама) чтобы прошло благополучно какое-то опасное дело (страшный полет). И дальше, по стихам, смотрит вслед, видимо, куда-то провожая. Я почитал статью, там написано (цитата):

В это время (с февраля по июнь 1916г.) и состоялся поэтический диалог, к которому литераторы отнесли 10 стихотворений Цветаевой и 3 произведения Мандельштама. Это, видимо, одно из них.

Может, надо другие стихи цикла почитать, тогда станет понятнее. А так, на полных нулях. Если даже я, носитель языка и имеющий в школе хорошие отметки по литературе, в т. ч. "серебряного века", ничего не понимаю, то что говорить о других?!

Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov    Luni, 29/11/2021 - 10:59

Может, имеется в виду первая мировая война? Год-то 1916, военный.

JadisJadis    Luni, 29/11/2021 - 12:43

Actually, I can't understand where the problem lies. She's comparing an old, classical and famous Russian poet to herself and to her own poetry. Why should we quibble any further ?

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Luni, 29/11/2021 - 18:20

She is comparing O.M. who followed more academic, classic writing in Derzhavin-like style. Or so I read somewhere, but have no time to search. Sorry.

Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov    Luni, 29/11/2021 - 13:18

The problem sits, that two days no one can explain me the purpose of "страшный полет (awful flight)".

Valeriu RautValeriu Raut    Luni, 29/11/2021 - 13:49

My explanation:
страшный полет = a flight from Marina, the beloved woman

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