Der Ewige Kreis (traducere în Engleză)

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The circle of life

Brave, eyes on the firmament
I rest and see the transparency
I see the drops of cold rock
I see them glow, so far away they may shine
Many twinkle and wink at me
So I stand down here and feel the peace
 
Of the circle of life that continually turns
The edge grinds down and yet doesn't wear away
 
Quiet, eyes on the firmament
I seek the erupting element
from the circle of life, that brings confusion to it
makes it lurch and forces it to a new beginning
There something twinkles, seems to flee through the sky
I rejoice down here, but I see it burn out
 
In the circle of life, that continually turns
The edge grinds down and yet doesn't wear away
In the eternal being, history is made
that tells of the beginning, born in the end
 
Like a comet we flash, burn out
Are born, must go
Like a comet that ploughs through the heavens
And I am only a guest who sees it
 
In the circle of life, that turns furthermore
When you float for so long already as dust through eternity
In the eternal being, history is made
that tells of the beginning, born in the end
 
If you share my translations elsewhere, please link to this page/my profile and give me credit for my work. Corrections are always welcome.

Evander
Postat de dionysiusdionysius la Vineri, 02/05/2014 - 21:08
Comentariile autorului:

Corrections welcome!

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Der Ewige Kreis

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Comentarii
GuestGuest    Vineri, 02/05/2014 - 21:50

I think you're a very good translator, but there's one thing I would change. In my opinion, the drops of cold rock do not *also* shine. I would translate it as follows: 'as far away as they may shine', if you think that works (you are the native speaker :-)). 'Auch' seems to imply an indefinite possibility here, not an addition. Greetings from Germany

dionysiusdionysius    Vineri, 02/05/2014 - 23:09

Hi, thank you! I agree with you: the "also" seemed strange to me too. I also usually use "even" to translate "auch" but it didn't seem to work here. Your suggestion is best. Regular smile

GuestGuest    Sâmbătă, 03/05/2014 - 00:48

I'm glad to hear. By the way, I'd be happy if someone checked on my German-to-English translations. :-) Just in case you have the time!

dionysiusdionysius    Sâmbătă, 03/05/2014 - 09:53

I shall take a look. Regular smile

It looks absolutely fine to me. Regular smile

GuestGuest    Duminică, 04/05/2014 - 14:01

Thanks a lot! :-)