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Колыбельная медведицы

Ложкой снег мешая,
Ночь идёт большая.
Что же ты, глупышка,
Не спишь?
Спят твои соседи
Белые медведи,
Спи скорей и ты,
Малыш.
Мы плывём на льдине,
Как на бригантине
По седым, суровым
Морям.
И всю ночь соседи,
Звёздные медведи
Светят дальним
Кораблям.
 
Traducere

Lullaby for a Polar Bear Cub

As if with a toy rake,
Great Night's stirring snowflakes —
little one, why aren't you asleep?
All your neighbours slumber,
Worries don't encumber them,
So rest, you too, don't weep.
All our neighbours slumber,
Worries can't encumber us,
So dream, my love, don't weep.
 
All across the ocean
Breeze keeps us in motion
On our floe just like on a boat.
And all night our neighbours,
Bears of stars in heavens,
Guide all ships, keep them afloat.
And all night our neighbours,
Bears of stars in heavens,
Help us safely stay afloat.
 
Comentarii
Dr_IgorDr_Igor    Sâmbătă, 01/10/2022 - 22:31

[@Alexander Evstyugov-Babaev]
When I saw that "them" after "encumber" the voice in my head said "WTH?" Then I visited musescore and got the answer.
So, IMHO, different formatting would help to avoid the confusion:

Worries don't encumber
Them, so rest, you too, don't weep.

And the same down below with "encumber us"

That's my personal rather humble (kidding - I'm rarely humble) opinion - rhymes are more important (including their immediate "visibility" at the ends of lines), than finishing sentences staying within the lines where they begin - I think the latter is rarely achievable, or those would have to be very short sentences.
Among other impressions - I liked the "toy rake - snowflakes" rhyme. Creative. In general, English often makes you look for two-word combinations to complete a feminine rhyme. Not easy.