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Подарите мне море (Podarite mne more) (перевод на Английский)

  • Исполнитель: Yuri Vizbor (Юрий Визбор)
  • Песня: Подарите мне море (Podarite mne more) 2 перевода
  • Переводы: Английский, Французский
перевод на АнглийскийАнглийский
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Gift me a sea

Someday I'll get older, memory'll wash away with time.
Should there be gifts for me when I reach that rubicon -
Do not bother giving me a shoreline, gift me a sea
For this, my friends, I shall forever so thankful be.
 
I will sail that sea, reminiscing over my lifetime,
Remembering my city, where my old friends had stayed
Where all the streets, just like rivers, flow into the sea
And homes stand, like the boats in the harbor docked.
 
And what else might I need? That should do for it now.
If only this faithful diesel would serve without a hitch,
And hands get so very tired after the midnight watch -
Just to let you know, once again, that you're still alive.
 
If only I could return, famous and older, wiser.
If only I could walk the pier, bending squeaking planks,
If only an old friend, exhausted by his own labors,
With a silent smile reaching his eyes, would shake my hand.
 
Someday I'll get older, memory'll wash away with time.
Should there be gifts for me when I reach that rubicon -
Do not bother giving me a shoreline, gift me a sea
For this, my friends, I should ever so grateful be.
 
Feedback is appreciated. If you like or dislike something, leave a note...
The objective is to further human understanding so my feeble attempts are not copyrighted.
Добавлено BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever в сб, 17/08/2019 - 15:36

Подарите мне море (Podarite mne more)

Еще переводы "Подарите мне море ..."
Английский BlackSea4ever
Комментарии
SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    сб, 17/08/2019 - 21:01

D, thanks, and few suggestions
1) I shall forever so thankful be. > I thought "shall" is dead? and you use "will" next line.
I don't like this "will be" separation, how about "I forever so thankful will be"? We change the order of words under the poetic licence, but it sounds better imho.
2) If only the old faithful diesel without fail served, > If only this faithful diesel would serve without a hitch?
3) Well, that will do it, i think for now. > Me think "I think" could be dropped there, even if you do a literal translation. Improving meter.
4) maybe "planks" are better instead of the pier boards?

JadisJadis    сб, 17/08/2019 - 21:17

Oh, I thought you were in lack of inspiration. Wink smile
Thanks for the translation. I just thought that sometimes it would be rather easy to stick closer to the original rhythm, for example :
"What else might I need? Well, that should do it for now." > "And what else might I need ? That should do for it now"
(I'm going out before you will throw things at me).
 

JadisJadis    сб, 17/08/2019 - 21:22

Dunno, but I like this one, I think I'll try to translate it. I had heard some of Vizbor's songs before.

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    сб, 17/08/2019 - 21:25

I just placed a request for his most French-sounding song ever Wink smile
No strings attached though, it's your choice. But check it out please

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    сб, 17/08/2019 - 21:20

I equally like the suggestion and throwing slippers at you. Problem is I don't wear slippers. Again you win.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    вс, 18/08/2019 - 20:27

Any person from Odessa hears a sea and sees Black Sea. We are or were a generous and not a greedy breed so we'd be happy with a gift of sea and would not hold out for an ocean.

JadisJadis    вс, 18/08/2019 - 20:03

Since the jaguars wear black coats, I guess. Please don't insist, or she'll come back unexpectedly and make a whole fuss about it. At the moment she's looking for her slippers, while searching a rhyme to "sleep" (I told her already : sheep).

IgeethecatIgeethecat    вс, 18/08/2019 - 20:12

Jaguars are black
But D is trying to find her slippers
All the blame goes to Tux
And there’s no friendly meanings
Teeth smile

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    вс, 18/08/2019 - 20:22

Found them! 👠👠👣
And you were wrong this time, darling, rhyme wasn't for sleep, but slip, so who is a sheep, a sheepish Phillippe?