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Almyrkvi (перевод на Английский)

  • Исполнитель: DIMMA
  • Песня: Almyrkvi 3 перевода
  • Переводы: Английский, Испанский, Итальянский
Исландский

Almyrkvi

Minningar, horfið allt sem áður var.
Engu breyta almyrkvar því ég er ekki lengur þar.
 
Myrkur máttur slóttugur sem skuggi
fylgdi mér hvert sem er.
Í fjötrum fortíðar ég var
en alltaf beið önnur leið.
 
Ég kom að krossgötum og skuggann skildi við.
 
Minningar, horfið allt sem áður var.
Engu breyta almyrkvar því ég er ekki lengur þar.
 
Sárþjáður, ég sór þess dýran eið
að sigra þig sjálfan mig.
Kveldúlfur, kaldur stígur nú
með kjark og þor, ný spor.
 
Ég kom að krossgötum og skuggann skildi við.
 
Minningar, horfið allt sem áður var.
Engu breyta almyrkvar því ég er ekki lengur þar.
 
Heimtur loks úr helju er, í myrkrinu mig enginn sér.
Eldinn enn í brjósti ber og heiminn hef í höndum mér.
 
Добавлено purplefebruarypurplefebruary в вс, 19/01/2020 - 08:18
В последний раз исправлено IceyIcey в вс, 19/01/2020 - 11:36
перевод на АнглийскийАнглийский
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Eclipses

Memories, everything that used to be is gone.
Total eclipses won't change a thing, because I'm no longer there.
 
A dark force, cunning as a shadow
Followed me everywhere.
I used to be in the chains of the past,
but a different way was always awaiting.
 
I came before a crossroads and the shadow dispersed.
 
Memories, everything that used to be is gone.
Total eclipses won't change a thing, because I'm no longer there.
 
In pain, I promised solemnly
To conquer you, to conquer my own self.
A night wolf,1walking now cold
With strength and courage, a new path.
 
I came before a crossroads and the shadow dispersed.
 
Memories, everything that used to be is gone.
Total eclipses won't change a thing, because I'm no longer there.
 
In the end I had it all back, I stand alone in the dark.
I'm bearing a fire in my chest and the world in my hands.
 
  • 1. Similar to a meteoropathic, just not with weather changes, but with the fall of night or with tiredness.
Добавлено IceyIcey в вс, 19/01/2020 - 12:11
Добавлено в ответ на запрос purplefebruarypurplefebruary
В последний раз исправлено IceyIcey в ср, 05/02/2020 - 20:43
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DorkVikingDorkViking    пн, 20/01/2020 - 15:05

Yeah I realized you are not asking for proofreading but I figured you would like a native's once over (with my edit suggestions in bold):

Minningar, ==> Memories,

Horfið allt sem áður var ==> gone is all that one was

Engu breyta almyrkvar ==> Nothing is changed by Total Eclipses

Því ég er ekki lengur þar. ----> ok, not translated wrong. Verse was just broken up wrong in transcription

Í fjötrum fortíðar ég var ==> I was shackled/hobbled by my past

En alltaf beið önnur leið. ==> But there always awaited a different way

Sárþjáður, ég sór þess dýran eið ==> Agonizing, I swore a costly oath

að sigra þig sjálfan mig. ==> To best/beat/conquer you my ownself

Kveldúlfur, kaldur stígur nú ==> [Kveldúlfur], cold now walks

Kveldúlfur refers to a person who becomes sullen/grouchy/morose/all of the above when the sun goes down or when they are sleepy

If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask and I'll answer. Life is not going to get in my way line it did last year so I should be able to respond within the day

IceyIcey    ср, 22/01/2020 - 17:42

Hey, thank you so much for proofreading, very much appreciated! Teeth smile
However, it would be best to always explain why you're making some corrections, otherwise it will be hard for the translator to understand their mistakes and avoid them in the future Wink smile

So, now my questions...
- "gone is all that one was": why "one"? Do you possibly mean "once"? In such case, remember not to confuse mistakes with "things I would translate differently": "gone is all that once was" means exactly the same as "everything that used to be is gone". I went with the latter because it looks way more fluid in English. Do not forget that there's no such thing as "one sole correct translation": translation is an art, not a mechanical process and as such, it allows multiple solutions, among which word-by-word translation is not necessarily the best option Wink smile Same goes for the lines "Sárþjáður, ég sór þess dýran eið / að sigra þig sjálfan mig"

- "Nothing is changed by Total Eclipses": I was wondering, does "breyta" require dative form for the object?

- "But there always awaited a different way": what do you mean by "there" here? I don't understand what do you mean with this sentence...

- "[Kveldúlfur], cold now walks": that about the Kveldúlfur was very interesting, thank you for telling me! *^* About "kaldur", what does it mean in this context? It feels a bit like out of the blue here Confused smile

DorkVikingDorkViking    пт, 24/01/2020 - 01:40

Omg, I can't believe I forgot to proofread my reply 🤦‍♂️ Yes, it was supposed to be "Once" 🤦‍♂️😑

My initial intention was write down my suggested edits and then go back through and add explanations. Looks like my daughters interrupted my thought process enough for that not to happen... My apologies

I get what you are saying, the explanation I would offer for my suggestion is that "gone is all that once was" is a bit more poetic phrasing the same as the original Icelandic line, a more naturally sounding English phrasing would be "all that once was is gone". As to "all" vs "everything" remember even though they are interchangeable that

    All is used most often when generalizing all of the parts of the whole – It therefore emphasizes the whole.

    Everything emphasizes each part of the whole – It therefore emphasizes each part. By the way, the every-thing refers to every part. It is easy to remember that this is the quantized version this way.

As for the your second example, I both agree and disagree with you,
1) sárþjáður == "soffre terribilmente" [pardon my bad Italian, I've forgotten more than I realized] and has a significantly stronger meaning than þjáist (in pain, soffire(?)) Which is why I opted for Agonizing ok while working on latter parts of this reply I realized that "Tormented" would make an excellent contextual fit...

2) in Icelandic there is quite a bit of difference between "að lofa" (to promise, promettere) and "að sverja eið" (to swear an oath, giurare giuramento?? [Yes I used G Translate for this one 😶]). A simplified difference in English would be... You promise your parents to behave, or promise your friend to help out, while you swear an oath to uphold the law or an oath of allegiance to your army, or you swear an oath of vengeance over the mutilated remains of your family... It's hard to explain via third language really

3)að sigra þig sjálfan mig ->> alright, there are a ton of different ways to translate "að sigra" and you were absolute right in calling me out for being pendantic. It is though never used in any way that can be translated as "win you over" (which translates to "fá þig á mitt band".)
Burt let's look at þú/you in the context here. The song is about a man who was ravaged by guilt and depression, and at some point came to a crossroads in his life where he compartmentalizes into the bad self "þig/you" and himself (sjálfan mig/myself/my ownself). So essentially the two lines in question here are saying that in his torment he swore an oath, vowed to best/conquer his dark that is himself. That brings us to my use of "my ownself", the line is not saying "I am going to beat/best/conquer/(prevail over) you on my own" {myself/sjálfur} but rather it is saying "I am going to beat/best/conquer/(prevail over) you and that you is me" {my ownself/sjálfan mig}

Next you asked about the verb "að breyta"... After running different it through my head several times changing person/tense/number of the subjecton one hand and switching out the object noun/pronoun on the other.... Yes, "að breyta" calls for the dative form

Following up on you asking my why I used "there" in "but there always awaited a different way"... Let's look at the whole sentence "Í fjötrum fortíðar ég var | en alltaf beið önnur leið." Which translates verbatim "in fetters/chains/bonds/shackles [of my] past I was | but always awaited another way/path" so what the narrative is saying that he used to be shackled by his past but there was always a different way waiting for him. That is where that "there" came from. After writing all of this I'm personally starting to lean more towards translating the two lines as I was in shackles of my past | but always a new path awaited

And lastly, "[Kveldúlfur], cold now walks": you were wondering what "kaldur" meant in this context. Well there are three ways look at it and all are tied to the person referred to as Kveldúlfur.

    1) he is physically cold
    2) he is emotionally cold
    3) he is cool/calm

If we look at what remains of that verse we can see that which context fits best and it can be argued that both 2) and 3) could for contextually correct. Rereading the lyrics and writing this book of an answer I have started leaning toward 3)

If there was anything I missed please let me know

IceyIcey    ср, 05/02/2020 - 20:43

Thank you very much, this one was very thorough and helpful! So, since in the "að sigra þig sjálfan mig" line "þig" and "sjálfan mig" are two discrete objects to the verb, would it make sense in Icelandic to write the line as "að sigra þig, sjálfan mig" (basically, to add a comma between them)?

Besides, I don't know if you had a chance to contact the user I suggested you for the "oculis videre volentibus ero" line, but I talked it over with him and he was indeed very helpful with it! The word order is a bit twisted, it leaterally goes: "oculis = with the eyes", "videre = to see/look", "volentibus = for those who want/are willing", "ero = I will be". Re-ordering it a bit, it turns out as "I will be there for those who want/are willing to see/look with their (own/very) eyes". The title "oculis videre" means "to see/look with the eyes". Now you can of course play with the translation as you prefer, I only want to have the message through.

DorkVikingDorkViking    чт, 06/02/2020 - 21:07

You are welcome! And yes, it probably would make sense to add a comma in there. If you refer to the official lyrics transcription you'll notice that those are in two separate lines (which often implies a comma). Almost the entire song is transcribed differently on this site than in the original, which might have affected both of your translations (or at least made them more difficult to work with)
And no I had not reached out to him yet, I followed your other advice and searched the member roster for active members who claimed being fluent in Latin. The response I got from there lines up pretty well with what you've given me
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