Россия ведет позорную войну с Украиной.     Поддержи Украину!
Делиться
Размер шрифта
Перевод
Поменять языки местами

Bitter mist

She doesn't sing and doesn't drink wine
The war is chasing us like a dog on a trail
She is ill.
A huge sphere was cooling down
In fine fingers
In heavenly dance of star couples
 
Constellations are in wrong places
People and trains goings off the rails
He is too old.
On kissed lips
and in young gardens of spring
There are wreaths and crosses
 
She turned to the wall and fell asleep
He is silently drinking vodka in the kitchen.
Bitter dreams. Bitter mist.
A broken boat, an empty pier,
A mermaid is singing her grief
Self-repeat
Self-deception.
 
An angel cannot have a tail
And a horse will never love a whistling whip
Bridges have to burn
Traces of hungry riders.
fruits are rotting, and lilac smoke
is burning our eyes.
 
An ancient sign is etched on a rusty key.
Your treasury is in the same place as your heart
The one, who knew, really knew.
The fire went out, the shelter keep silent,
And only angels are singing
For the last time.
 
She turned to the wall and fall asleep
He is silently drinking vodka in the kitchen.
Bitter dreams.
A broken boat, an empty pier,
A mermaid is singing her grief
Self-repeat
Self-deception.
 
Self-repeat
Self-deception.
 
Bitter dreams.
Better mist.
 
Оригинальный текст

Горький туман

Нажмите, чтобы увидеть оригинальный текст (Русский)

Комментарии
St. SolSt. Sol    вт, 20/08/2019 - 12:38

This translation doesn't claim to be metered, rhythmic, or equirhythmic. What is the point of your nit-picking?

silencedsilenced    сб, 30/05/2020 - 02:42

chasing us like a dog on a trail -> the Russian doesn't say, but I imagine it's rather about "her" than "us"?
Maybe "war is trailing her like a dog" ?

Огромный наш шар -> is that a periphrasis for Earth? "our huge globe" or something?
star pairs -> "star couples" maybe? I suppose it refers to this unhappy love story?

goings -> typo

зацелованных устах -> I wonder if using "tongue" instead of "lips" is usual? That seems a bit crude, or is it just me?

Не может у ангела быть хвоста -> If it's about the sex of angels, I suppose a more explicit term than "tail" would be better.

Your treasury is in the same place as your heart -> "riches are where the heart is" (like "home is where the heart is") ?

Кто знал - тот знал -> Erf... I have no idea what that means.
Does that refer to the saying above, like "there's nothing more to know" or something?

keep silent -> keeps

Sophia_Sophia_
   пт, 29/05/2020 - 13:53
silenced написал(а):

Огромный наш шар -> is that a periphrasis for Earth? "our huge globe" or something?
star pairs -> "star couples" maybe? I suppose it refers to this unhappy love story?

Там не было *наш* !
Просто "огромный шар"

silencedsilenced    пт, 29/05/2020 - 13:59

Oops sorry, I could have sworn I saw this "наш".
Still I don't get the metaphor.
Stars and globe might be about Earth in the cosmos, but what about the beautiful hands?

Sophia_Sophia_
   пт, 29/05/2020 - 16:03

Это всё злые происки врагов ;)
Я готова поклясться, что публиковала без "наш", а сегодня оно мелькнуло ...

Марти НиМарти Ни    вс, 19/07/2020 - 16:57

Это автомат Яндекс или Гугл корректирует, как у него заложено в словаре..
У меня меняет "за," на "сейчас"
Только глаз, да глаз за ним.

Sophia_Sophia_
   пт, 29/05/2020 - 16:30
silenced написал(а):

зацелованных устах -> I wonder if using "tongue" instead of "lips" is usual? That seems a bit crude, or is it just me?

Не может у ангела быть хвоста -> If it's about the sex of angels, I suppose a more explicit term than "tail" would be better.

1. не поняла?
2. Нет, я думаю, тут именно про хвост

St. SolSt. Sol    пт, 29/05/2020 - 16:49

Не может у ангела быть хвоста == Someone, who is an angel, can't have a tail (like the devil has).

silencedsilenced    пт, 29/05/2020 - 17:00

Oh right, makes sense. Thanks

silencedsilenced    пт, 29/05/2020 - 16:34

1; My bad, I just made a mess of a misunderstood dictionary entry :)

2. Ok but then why would angels want to grow a tail? Is that a saying or something?

silencedsilenced    сб, 30/05/2020 - 02:12

Mmm... what do you make of St Sol's suggestion? Seems sound enough to me.
I just looked at the French version, and it read "angels don't have a dick" (a common meaning of "tail" in French), so I wondered if the same ambiguity could exist in Russian.

IremiaIremia
   сб, 30/05/2020 - 02:11

No, it’s definitely not about a dick. In Russian tail doesn’t mean that at all. I am with St.Sol on that - devil has a tail, an angel doesn’t.

silencedsilenced    сб, 30/05/2020 - 02:16

Right. So you could as well say "angels can't have horns", or anything that identifies the devil?
I'm thinking of a way to suggest a change in French to avoid this embarrassing ambiguity :)

Марти НиМарти Ни    вс, 19/07/2020 - 17:21

Синенькая водочка. Денатурат
​​​​​

У него в глазах - лиловый туман.
От чистого спирта глюков не будет
Он пьет левую водку. - Денатурат, разведённых пополам.
Поэтому ему апокалипс мерещится. 
Травится мужик на кухне дешевой подделкой.
Перевод, в целом,  правильно передаёт смысл песни.
Спасибо.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    вс, 19/07/2020 - 17:45

А где вы лиловый туман увидели?

Соф, классный перевод 👍😻
Я тут случайно за ветку зацепилась, с небольшим опозданием 🤣

Sophia_Sophia_
   пт, 01/10/2021 - 16:03

Маша, спасибо на добром слове.
Мне с этим переводом Гэвин помог.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    вс, 19/07/2020 - 18:13

Привет Гэвину и остальным помощникам👍 Главное - результат 😍😊

IgeethecatIgeethecat    вс, 19/07/2020 - 19:16

Ну, славо Богу, не сиреневый туман 😂
И не синий синий иней

Марти НиМарти Ни    вс, 19/07/2020 - 19:31

: «Не произноси имени Господа, Бога твоего, напрасно, ибо Господь не оставит без наказания того, кто произносит имя Его напрасно» (Исх. 20:7)
Поерничать охота, тогда комментируйте мой перевод.