И скучно, и грустно... (I skuchno, i grustno...) (перевод на Английский)

И скучно, и грустно... (I skuchno, i grustno...)

И скучно и грустно, и некому руку подать
В минуту душевной невзгоды...
Желанья!... что пользы напрасно и вечно желать?
А годы проходят - все лучшие годы!
Любить... но кого же?.. на время - не стоит труда,
А вечно любить невозможно.
В себя ли заглянешь? там прошлого нет и следа:
И радость, и муки, и всё там ничтожно...
Что страсти? - ведь рано иль поздно их сладкий недуг
Исчезнет при слове рассудка;
И жизнь, как посмотришь с холодным вниманием вокруг -
Такая пустая и глупая шутка...
В последний раз исправлено LyricalMiracleLyricalMiracle в сб, 03/08/2019 - 01:41
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So Doleful, So Dreary (Rhyming)

Версии: #1#2
So doleful, so dreary, and no one will lend me a hand
When my whole soul cries out in anguish...
Desire! Oh, what good does it do to desire without end?
The moments of joy are the moments that vanish...
To love - but to love whom? It's not worth the time or distress,
And no love can hold up forever.
You look at yourself? Well, the past times have not left a trace:
All pleasure, all torment, all feelings have ended...
What's passion? For sooner or later its sugar-sweet pain
Will melt at the mind's repossession;
And life, as you see when you once again find yourself sane,
Is all just a joke - so insipid and senseless...
Добавлено RobinKRobinK в ср, 29/06/2016 - 18:11
В последний раз исправлено RobinKRobinK в пн, 01/08/2016 - 22:55
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petit élèvepetit élève    ср, 29/06/2016 - 18:23

Nice rhyming version.

Still I'm a bit surprised by the title (and 1st verse). I rather see it as "I feel doeful and dreary" or "as doeful as dreary".

Also the saccharine does not sound very 19th century to me. Maybe "sweet" or "sugary" instead?

RobinKRobinK    ср, 29/06/2016 - 19:24

Thanks for your comments! I too am not quite satisfied with the word "saccharine", but I actually like "sugary" less and I'd have to make up the extra 2 syllables if I used "sweet". I'll keep thinking, and thanks for the suggestions! I'm not trying too hard to make the English sound like it is from the 1800s because it's been a while since I've read any books from that time period and I'm not sure I can replicate that language well enough... "Moronic" also strikes me as not being tremendously 19th-century but I put it in anyhow.

As for "doeful", I don't think that is actually a word... Perhaps you're thinking of "woeful"?

Thanks again!

petit élèvepetit élève    ср, 29/06/2016 - 21:27

Oops, excuse my French :). I meant "doleful" but skipped an "l".
If sugar won't do, what about "delicious" or another more general term then ?

RobinKRobinK    ср, 29/06/2016 - 22:30

Oh, I see what you mean now! That it's the speaker that is "doleful" rather than life itself. Hmmm. Maybe something like "So doleful, so dreary, and no one to lend me a hand..."

The problem with the "saccharine" line is that I still haven't come up with a good alternative that keeps the rhythm (and the rhyme that I sort of want to keep, ending in "-ain"). Basically it needs to be "BLAH-blah-blah-PAIN". Using "delicious" would be "blah-BLAH-blah-PAIN" - close but no cigar. (I'm a real stickler for the rhyme and rhythm; others might argue that it doesn't really matter very much, but that's the way I like to do these translations because the Russian is very structured and I think that is quite important to the poem.) Another option would be to use two different words, with the first one being "sweet" - that would make it "SWEET-[something with 2 syllables]-PAIN". I also like Alex's suggestion of "pleasing complaint" - it sounds nice and is a near rhyme with "sane".

petit élèvepetit élève    чт, 30/06/2016 - 07:12

Indeed. Just like "мне холодно" Regular smile

On the other hand, "недуг" rather means "disease", "illness" or "affliction", and in this context I would suppose it refers to a mental state, maybe "sweet confusion", "sweet turmoil" or something like that.
And the rhyming verse "как посмотришь с холодным вниманием вокруг" would rather mean something like "when you consider it coolly and thoroughly".
So maybe one could drop this "pain" altogether and find another rhyme. "sweet affliction / (cold) light of reason" maybe?

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    ср, 29/06/2016 - 20:19

Well, as far as my relatively poor knowledge of English can help me to judge, I can say this translation is perfect! Wink smile
I am sure that If Lermontov had been writing this poem in English, he would have written exactly the same as you! Wink smile

RobinKRobinK    ср, 29/06/2016 - 20:30

Not enough syllables - unless I change the word "pain" to something else! But we can all keep thinking!

RobinKRobinK    ср, 29/06/2016 - 21:15

That actually sounds pretty good ... might go with that one! Thanks Regular smile