Professor Lebedinskiy - Я убью тебя, лодочник (перевод на Английский)

перевод на Английский

I'll kill you, boatman

Hushed nothern town is sleeping,
Large grenade, and I'm still young.
We are swimming across the river, patrol isn't sleeping,
But rowlock is creaking loud on the left.
And then I took one's shoulder of man and I said quietly:
I'll kill you, boatman, I'll kill you, boatman!
I'll kill you, boatman, I'll kill you, boatman!
Why didn't you oil rowlock?
But he was creaking and here he smiled.
I'm seeing, Patrol has spotted us from tower,
Launch was sent, I understood this theme,
And I grabed for the chest and I was shouting:
Blue sky is over head,
Grenade was taken away, we were sent to home,
But all the same I had seen how a general,
Had given 7 roubles to cursed sod,
And then I was screaming after it:
I'm going out on the roof, I'm looking at Aurora,
And I'm remembering that long time,
When I was young with grenade in the hand,
I was swimming across river at treacherous boat,
And then just I was screaming habitually:
Chorus x2
Добавлено Egor Gulyants в пт, 19/05/2017 - 21:50
Добавлено в ответ на запрос io _

Я убью тебя, лодочник

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АнглийскийEgor Gulyants
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Kashtanka1965    вс, 21/05/2017 - 00:37

By the scruff of the shirt is much better. Последняя строчка первого куплета неправильно переведена. Иногда дословный перевод не имеет никакого смысла на английском языке. Просто можно перевести: I put my hand on the man shoulder or I've grabbed the man by the shoulder. But he kept on creaking and smiling. I see, patrol has spotted us from the tower. I've grabbed the man by the scruff of his shirt and screamed. We were sent home. And then I was screaming in his wake. And I remember that long time ago. I was swimming across the river in the treacherous boat. Then simply, as a habit, I scream.
I could be wrong, but it sounds better.
I'm Australian.
Kind Regards

Egor Gulyants    вс, 21/05/2017 - 18:52

Я заметил, какой из тебя австралиец. Я думаю, что я нормально перевел. Вот и все! Здесь есть возможность нескольких вариантов переводов на одном языке. Дерзайте, Анатолий!
С наилучшими пожеланиями из России

Kashtanka1965    пн, 22/05/2017 - 11:00

How can you improve your translation , if you don't except your mistakes. There are quite a few lines, that don't make any sense in English. You should be grateful that someone trying to help you, and believe me you do need help. If you believe that you did a good job, so be it.
Kind Regards,

Egor Gulyants    пн, 22/05/2017 - 11:41

Я тебе всё сказал. Может быть ты один этот перевод не понимаешь, наверно?