Зеленоглазая душа (превод на енглески)

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превод на енглескиенглески
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Green-eyed soul

Soul, tresses unbound and uncovered,
In what epoch did you awake?
What kind of feast were you in rush to
When calls of Heavens you ignored?
 
Whom did you search for in the darkness,
Whom did you desire and console,
Until you finally found in me
Your love, your anguish, and the host.
 
Oh soul, with the eyes like emeralds,
Also keep me in your embrace,
Don't let me go till the end, until -
While I still live and breathe.
 
Until there is but the golden wind,
In this world my only partner...
Oh, remain with me, oh stay with me,
Until the Lord wills us apart.
 
Don't cry, don't lament, and do not swear -
That is life - there's no other way.
To the past loss look with a smile -
What's in the past means little anyway.
 
It's not meant for the immortal you
To pine for the rush of a fleeting life
You'll fly away, but forever
Of this mortal me shall reminisce.
 
Oh soul, with the eyes like emeralds,
Also keep me in your embrace,
Don't let me go till the end, until -
While I still live and breathe.
Until there is but the golden wind,
In this world my only partner...
 
Feedback is appreciated. If you like or dislike something, leave a note...
The objective is to further human understanding so my feeble attempts are not copyrighted.
Поставио/ла: BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever У: Субота, 19/10/2019 - 17:22
Last edited by BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever on Среда, 23/10/2019 - 12:19

Зеленоглазая душа

Више превода за "Зеленоглазая душа"
енглески BlackSea4ever
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Коментари
Pinchus ZelenogorskyPinchus Zelenogorsky    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 00:56

Диана, а не хотите попробовать зарифмовать? Или сделать singable. Ну, просто задачу сделать более интересной.
Мой словарик на "простоволосый" предлагает bare-headed, with head uncovered
>Не отпуская меня, пока
Не отпускай меня, пока

silencedsilenced    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 01:38

I've been wondering for ages what this "green-eyed God" might symbolize in Okudzhava's famous "François Villon" song. Is that a definite symbol, or just a coincidence?

were you in rush to -> "rushing to" ?

and the host -> a/your host would be ok, but "the" sounds like bragging. "the perfect host" or something.

with the eyes like emeralds -> this "the" sounds like the emeralds were both eyes-like and a subset of some previously mentioned collection (a dragon's treasure or something Regular smile )

until -
While -> That "while" kind of spoils the repetition effect. Maybe flip the second line? "until I no longer live nor breathe" or something?

Pinchus ZelenogorskyPinchus Zelenogorsky    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 02:11

А Вы знаете, что к Вийону эта песня никакого отношения не имеет?

Вот объяснения самого Окуджавы (https://ae-krylov.livejournal.com/22412.html)

"Между прочим, когда я это стихотворение написал, меня упрекали в том, что там есть слово «бог». А когда я писал эти стихи, жена моя, Оля, в очень тяжёлом состоянии лежала в больнице, и я к ней обращался. И когда потом меня спрашивали, почему Бог зеленоглазый, я отвечал, что такая была интерпретация, а в этом почему-то увидели мою религиозность, хотя я атеист и мне это чуждо, хотя это связано и с войной. "

silencedsilenced    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 02:43

I know the story about cheating censorship, if that's what you have in mind. I've been a fan of Okudzhava's for decades. Regular smile

These words of Okudzhava's are quite interesting though. Unfortunately, I don't understand what he says Teeth smile
So the green-eyed God (in the song) was related to his ill and religious wife ???
Does that mean the "green-eyed God" is his wife? Or that he mentions God only to please his wife while being an atheist himself? And what's this connexion with the war ???
Does not make a lot of sense. I must have got the Russian wrong.
Besides, it says nothing about the actual meaning of the colour, or does it?

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 02:34

This conversation should move to its song's page

silencedsilenced    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 02:35

Yes, sorry. Or maybe in a PM.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 02:38

No, really good conversation that would be missed if it is done here

Pinchus ZelenogorskyPinchus Zelenogorsky    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 02:54

Я думаю, у жены просто были зеленые глаза, и он все время думал о ней. Ну и богу "подарил" ее глаза.
Война - это из другой песни - "Пока земля еще вертится", там тоже был зеленоглазый бог. Образ понравился и зафиксировался в мозгу.
Судите сами, зеленые ли у нее глаза:
https://sobesednik.ru/skandaly/20160504-okudzhavu-otmenili-neugoden

silencedsilenced    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 03:15

Haha I see. So God simply has eyes the colour of his wife's Regular smile
I would not want to hijack this page any further, but maybe you would be so kind as to annotate the song or post some comment on the song's page to summarize these intersting findings?

Pinchus ZelenogorskyPinchus Zelenogorsky    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 03:40

Да, по образу и подобию жены. Я с удовольствием напишу, но где? Мы нашли минимум две песни Окуджавы с "зеленоглазым богом".

Pinchus ZelenogorskyPinchus Zelenogorsky    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 03:57

Ох, простите, конечно! Ничего не соображаю, пора спать. Хорошо, но уже завтра. Спасибо!

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 01:42

Green-eyed means envious, but I fail to see it in this context. The singer has green eyes and I feel the song is personal. I'm trying to rhyme as PZ suggested and will keep your ideas in mind. Not promising.

silencedsilenced    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 01:54

I shall find the strength to forgive you for not obeying my commands to the letter Regular smile

Green symbolizes envy in French culture too, but that does not seem to be the intent of either song, or does it?

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 01:59

You shall have to as obedience isn't one of my strength. 😇
Not to my understanding of this one. Yours, perhaps, has the meaning of a jealous God implied.

silencedsilenced    Уторак, 22/10/2019 - 02:07

Ah yes, good point. I never thought of it that way.