[@líadan], [@roster 31], [@Enjovher] - hola, queridos! Buenos días! He apenas hecho esta traducción. La letra original me parecía de fácil entendimiento, por eso he probado... Pero, no soy aún fluente en español... Los pido, entonces, un comentario. Está buena?
Haz algo
Хвала! ❤ | ||
thanked 4 times |
Детаљи о похвалама:
Корисник | пре |
---|---|
Sarasvati | 2 године 10 months |
Hampsicora | 2 године 10 months |
roster 31 | 2 године 10 months |
citlālicue | 2 године 10 months |
Gracias a líadan, roster 31, Hampsicora y geborgenheit por sugerencias de mejoramientos.
1. | Mina – «Frutta e verdura» (1973) |
1. | Amor mio |
2. | Ancora, ancora, ancora |
3. | Parole, parole |
De momento, te diré, que el principio no está bien:
It starts using the command in affirmative form.
"Parla" should be "habla", and "dimmi", "dime".
Compare with the negative form "pero no quedes" where "quedes" is correct, but it needs a pronoum: "no te quedes".
I'll come back.
Hables → Habla
Digas que me matarás → Di que me matarás
Digas que me odias → Di que me odias
No déjame salir → No me dejes ir
Cierre alguna puerta → azota una puerta (are they saying: don't let me leave (walk out), slam [any door in sight], etc. ?)
Aunque se no morí → Aunque no este muerta
Se la vida es lo que es → Si la vida es lo que es
Pero hables → Pero habla
Como haces con me → Como haces conmigo
Juan,
here is a note on the imperative mood, in Spanish:
Habla - no hables
Ganta - no cantes (-ar verbs)
Come - no comas
Bebe - no bebas (-er verbs)
Escribe - no escribas (-ir verbs)
Irregular verbs, follow the same rule, applied on the irregularity in the first person of the indicative. A couple examples:
Tener / tengo --> Ten , no tengas
Decir / digo --> Di, no digas
Hacer / hago --> Haz, no hagas
Apply, and then I'll point out a couple other errors in the rest of the translation which, by the way, it is pretty good.
Thank you for your dedication to the Spanish language.
Hi Alma, just to add to roster31 and líadan's corrections:
E bebía - Y bebía (In Spanish, "e" only goes with words that start with "i" or "hi")
Porque tu, - Porque tú, ("tu" without the accent means "your")
Envíeme flores - Envíame flores ("Envíeme" would be correct if you were to use "usted" instead of "tú", but since you are not using "usted", you need to be consistent since you use "tú" everywhere else)
traicionar una mujer - traicionar a una mujer (The preposition "a" is used when you are referring to a person)
Hi, Geborgenheit,
I was about to mention some of those points.
Thank you.
I forget to add, although I think it is odvious, that, sometimes in the irregulars, the affirmative form is just the first syllable of the first person in the present tense. Anyway, the irregularity is there/ For instance:
Pedir / pido --> pide, no pidas.
In "y entonces", I would add "aunque".
"una única flor', for mí "una sola flor",
Keep on 'probando', Juan. You did a good job. (What is new?)
Nota:
I don't think Enjovher is around these days. I wonder.
Hi, Juan!
Your translation is missing a couple corrections. Please, review and see that:
"Pero no quedes" --> "Pero no te quedes" (reflexive verb)
There are two "hables" that should be "habla".
"Aunque se no morí" --> "Aunque no estoy muerta".
"Azota una puerta" --> "cierra..." (?)
Best regards
Hi everyone! Can I add a few suggestions?
“Sbatti qualche porta” is a gesture of anger (slam some door).
In Spanish you could say “cierra alguna puerta con ira” or “da algún portazo”.
In the first verse I’d say “estoy muriéndome” (normally this verb is reflexive in Spanish)
And further on: io morivo > yo me moría
mi uccidi > me matas (present indicative)
E anche allora > Y también entonces / Y ya entonces
Una donna puoi tradirla > A una mujer puedes traicionarla (sounds closer to the original)
Hi, Marco! You sure can. Any opinion is well received :) Thanks for sharing a view. It's been a while since we last talked, I hope all is fine with you.
I picked a few of your suggestions, a few of Ellen's, a few of Geborgenheit's and a few of Rosa's so all of you would be contemplated. Hope it is fine now.
Hola! Oops, my bad, I forgot to check the remaining stanzas yesterday. Hope all is fine now.
[@roster 31] - 'Aunque no estoy muerta' > Wouldn't the subjunctive be better here? That was how I interpreted the song. But then again, maybe I'm thinking with a Portuguese-speaking mind, as we would either use the gerund ('mesmo eu não estando morta') or the subjunctive ('mesmo sem que eu esteja morta').
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This work has been done by Alma Barroca. In case you want to use it elsewhere, please ask for permission - if given, my name must be always mentioned as the author. If I find my works being reprinted without permission I will request for it to be removed.