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Energie sombre (превод на енглески)

превод на енглескиенглески
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Dark energy

I feel like I’ve been sinking for the past few months
So gloomy that I’ve become a pale shadow of myself
When the sun came up, you asked how I was faring
And when the moon came up, I downloaded your nudes
 
Message in a Bottle, this is the thousandth verse I’m playing on SoundCloud
And I who wanted you to be mine Chaleur Humaine replaying on Saint-Claude
One day when doubts set in, you’ll know how cruel the other one is
Tunes of Bohemienne, a dance that makes you tear up
 
I feel like I’ve been sinking for the past few months
So gloomy that I’ve become a pale shadow of my former self
When the sun came up, you asked how I was faring
And when the moon came up, I downloaded your nudes
 
I remember the summer and the liberty that came with the month of August
Our baby faces when we sent each other sweet words
Now it’s all over and I’m a prisoner of my doubts
Oh you want to help me? How much will you take, tell me everything?
No I’m not for sale, I do the selling
I’ve screwed lots of others but it's getting really old
Lady and the Tramp, love around a plate of noodles
I didn’t have confidence in myself, although I was suspicious of everything I was sure about the two of us
You’ve got an innocent man but it seems to me that we’re better off together
Death threats on my phone, midnight strikes and I send him off bleeding on the ground
If I went too far away it’s so I don’t come back again, it’s not his fault
I’m sure that makes you happy when you think of it as you lie in your bed
 
Cos it seems to me that you’ve been sinking too, but don’t worry
You send voice messages and I play them over again for months
When the sun came up, you asked how I was faring
And when the moon came up, I downloaded your nudes
 
I need your lies, all my dreams remind me of you
In the same dimension in my songs for the last few months
I'm ready to lose my mind, if I’m sinking it’s because I want you
So gloomy I’ve become a pale shadow of my former self
 
We want to trust each other but where will that get us?
There’s love everywhere for those who have eyes to see, there’s also hate cos we desire the things we see
We desire what we see and it’s a matter of choice, you think of the worst as you take your chances
Is it worth a few moments of joy, when you suffer so much inside?
It’s probably because we were fleeing happiness, it’s strange how enticing conflicts can be
I really need to have confidence in myself, but you’re my only confidante
So I keep sinking
 
I feel like I’ve been sinking for the past few months
So gloomy that I’ve become a pale shadow of my former self
When the sun came up, I refused to hear anything from you
And when the moon came up, I deleted your nudes
Who needs you?
 
Хвала!
захваљено 1 пут

_k.o.a 🇬🇭

Поставио/ла: kwameGHkwameGH У: Среда, 22/04/2020 - 01:49
Last edited by kwameGHkwameGH on Недеља, 26/09/2021 - 16:25
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Energie sombre

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Коментари
MaggeusMaggeus    Субота, 18/09/2021 - 15:41

Hello kwameGH, thanks for the translation!
If I could add some things:
"So gloomy that I’ve become a pale shadow of myself" -> "So gloomy that my shadow is brighter than myself"
"I remember the summer and the liberty that came with the month of August" -> "I rememeber summers, Augusts' freedom"
"Our baby faces when we sent each other nice words" -> "Our baby faces when we sent each other sweet words"
"Now it’s all over and I’m a prisoner of my doubts" -> "Now it’s outdated and I’m a prisoner of my doubts"
"Beauty and the Tramp" -> "Lady and the Tramp" (Disney movie)
"I didn’t have much confidence in myself, although I was suspicious of everything I was sure about the two of us" -> " I didn’t have confidence in myself, I was doubting everything but the two of us" (French lyrics are "Peu de confiance" and not "Pas de confiance")
"Y'a de l'amour partout pour qui sait voir, y'a de la haine aussi on veut c'qu'on voit" -> " Y'a de l'amour partout pour qui sait voir, y'a de la haine aussi on voit c'qu'on veut, on veut c'qu'on voit"
"there’s also hate cos we desire the things we see" -> "there's also hate 'cos we see what we want, we want what we see"
(Need to correct this line and the next one)

Finally,
"I really need to have confidence in myself, but you’re my only confidante"-> "I need to confide in somebody, but you're my only confidante"

kwameGHkwameGH    Недеља, 26/09/2021 - 16:42

- "So gloomy that my shadow is brighter than myself" is literal. The idiom "be a pale shadow of one's former self" is what I intended and it has been corrected as such.
- "sweet words vs nice words". Hmm, okay.
- "I rememeber summers, Augusts' freedom". I just disagree on this one.
- "se confier" - have confidence etc. We don't really say "confide in oneself" although it wouldn't be wrong. I maintain my translation because when you "confiding in yourself" by extension means you're confident in yourself.
- "Lady and the Tramp" (Disney movie). Haha, I guess I got it mixed up with Beauty and the Beast. Thanks.
- "all over" vs "outdated" I agree with you. The intended meaning was the end of a love affair.

I'm both a tad vexed by and thankful for your contribution. However, when you comment this much on a translator's work, you make it seem like the job done was poor, and my work certainly isn't (except for my rookie translations which I haven't reviewed). This is the reason some people prefer that you directly message them with any corrections.
The point is, next time you try to correct someone, check and recheck that your suggestions aren't questionable. As I see it, part of what you want changed is basically a matter of diction or you wanting direct, literal translations, or being needlessly picky.

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