To Koritsi Tou Mai (Το Κορίτσι Του Μάη) (превод на енглески)

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May’s Girl

You flip your hair onto your back
you wear a crimson ribbon
your eyelids always painted
charms hanging on your chest.
 
They call you May’s Girl
yet in your heart / love has no place
yet in your heart / love has no place
 
In your golden pendant
you’ve written I love you
yet of love you never talk
and you just call it dumb.
 
They call you May’s Girl
yet in your heart / love has no place
yet in your heart / love has no place
 
Поставио/ла: apap У: Петак, 11/04/2014 - 04:08
Last edited by apap on Субота, 12/04/2014 - 12:20
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To Koritsi Tou Mai (Το Κορίτσι Του Μάη)

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evfokasevfokas    Петак, 11/04/2014 - 06:31

Welcome to LT, and thank you for your wonderful translation
Although in greek it's "the girl of May" it doesn't mean that she belongs to May but that she is like May, so May Girl or Springtime Girl or May Queen or May Day Girl are more appropriate (I like the May Day Girl better because of its dual meaning)
τα βλέφαρα ζωγραφιστά > eyelids (always) painted (there's no your)
στο στήθος φυλαχτά > charms (hanging) on your chest (It doesn't say so but it's the impression I get)

apap    Субота, 12/04/2014 - 13:09

> it doesn't mean that she belongs to May

It’s not how you would tend to understand the phrase, but grammatically it personifies May to some extent (as usual usage in Greek often tends to do as a side effect). So it does suggest that she belongs to May, as a possible/secondary meaning, which gives the phrase a ring that I cannot think how to preserve in translation.

Of your suggestions I actually *love* Springtime Girl and would immediately go with that – except it loses the whole May part… I do like May Day Girl, since although it doesn’t have the same ring as the original, it does have its own charm. I may go with that ultimately. Not sure yet.

> τα βλέφαρα ζωγραφιστά > eyelids (always) painted (there's no your)

More importantly than the “your” is there’s no “always” in the orignal! :-) But you can’t write the line after that one without “your” in English, and leaving out the “your” only in the middle line looks weird, so I added it. For the same reason I also reluctantly added the “always” – to keep it more balanced with the lines around it.

> στο στήθος φυλαχτά > charms (hanging) on your chest (It doesn't say so but it's the impression I get)

Yes! Thank you. I tried for a while to come up with something better but didn’t think of “hanging”. I’ma take this one.

evfokasevfokas    Недеља, 13/04/2014 - 08:07

You're welcome it's up to you to express it in any way you want, I was only making suggestions. The omission of pronouns isn't common in spoken greek either, just in songs to fit the metre, but in songs the things that aren't said are equally beautiful with the things said "...how they dance in the courtyard / sweet summer sweat ...". The song's the greek version of Venus by Shocking Blue and both were released in 1969
Here's a singable version
You flip your hair onto your back
you wear a ribbon crimson black
your made up eyes cause heart attack
charms hang on your chest a stack

They call you, yeah baby, girl of May
yet in your heart there / love won't find some room to stay