Melodiya (Мелодия) (превод на енглески)

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Melodiya (Мелодия)

Ты - моя мелодия,
Я - твой пpеданный Оpфей.
Дни что нами пpойдены
Помнят свет нежности твоей.
 
Всё как дым pастаяло,
Голос твой теpяется вдали.
Что тебя заставило
Забыть мелодию любви ?
 
Ты моё сомнение,
Тайна долгого пути.
Сквозь дожди осенние
Слышу я гоpькое "Пpости".
 
Зоpь пpощальных заpево,
Голос твой теpяется вдали.
Что тебя заставило
Забыть мелодию любви ?
 
Ты - моё призвание,
Песня, ставшая судьбой.
Боль забвенья раннего
Знал Орфей, преданный тобой.
 
Стань моей Вселенною,
Смолкнувшие стpуны оживи.
Сеpдцу вдохновенному
Веpни мелодию любви.
(2х)
 
Поставио/ла: barsiscevbarsiscev У: Недеља, 07/10/2012 - 12:37
Last edited by Alma BarrocaAlma Barroca on Четвртак, 12/01/2017 - 21:37
Коментари подносиоца:

Мusic: A Pakhmutova
Lyrics: N Dobronravov

превод на енглескиенглески
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The Melody

Верзије: #1#2#3
You are my sweet melody,
I'm your Orpheus obsessed.
Days that we together spent
Keep the light of your soft caress.
 
All has melted just like smoke,
Your voice fades away as distant dove.
What has made your heart forgo,
Forget the melody of love?
 
You are my self-doubt pains,
My long lasting mystery.
Through the autumn somber rains
I can hear bitter pray: "Forgive."
 
Glow of parting crimson dawns,
Your voice fades away as distant dove.
What has made your heart forgo,
Betray the melody of love?
 
You're my inspiration dawn,
Song that has become my fate.
Pain of swift oblivion
Orpheus knew, by you betrayed.
 
Please, become my Universe,
Strings, that have been silenced, bring to life.
To the heart that's been inspired
Return the melody of love.
 
© St.Sol @ LT: all rights reserved.
Поставио/ла: St. SolSt. Sol У: Четвртак, 12/01/2017 - 21:25
Коментари аутора:

Equirhythmic poetic translation.

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Више превода за "Melodiya (Мелодия)"
енглески St. Sol
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Muslim Magomaev: Top 3
Коментари
BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Четвртак, 22/11/2018 - 15:21

Of course, you don't know if we could have done better...lol...well, I couldn't! So my heartfelt Thanks!

I think it would make people thank you more often for your beautiful interpretations if you down-sized prejudgment:
Ok, I get it that most of you just can't bring yourselves
to pressing "Thanks" when you have already enjoyed
and probably sung an equirhythmic rhymed translation
and then realized that you couldn't have done a better
one yourself. Yet, avoiding this gesture implicitly helps
to promote other, often subpar work on this site. St.

St. SolSt. Sol    Петак, 23/11/2018 - 04:12

Well, statistics doesn't lie (though statisticians often do): writing equirhythmic rhymed poetic translations, maximally preserving the meaning and the spirit of the source, after 2 years on LT barely got me slightly over 1:1 thanks to translations ratio with 400+ translations going totally unappreciated. On the other hand, many members writing straightforward literal translations routinely get 3:1, 5:1 and higher ratios with every or almost every contribution thanked. Not taking anything away from many really good translators here, some characters are working on 10:1 and 19:1 ratios, but when you read their output, most of it is either misunderstood or outright misleading (or, let's say, brazenly pushing wild left field interpretations pulled from thin air, most likely being a result of misunderstanding the source to the instant applause of their admirers, who for some reason forget about their integrity when dealing with favorites), and you can't even call their bluff because of their protected status and unlimited powers of suppression. If that's what passes as quality translations here, then I am out. St.