Впопыхах опять смывался ( översättning till engelska)

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Впопыхах опять смывался

Впопыхах опять смывался,
Мой милёночек Илья.
Муж в накладке не остался:
Вновь прибавилось белья!
 
Inskickad av St. SolSt. Sol Ons, 20/03/2019 - 15:49
översättning till engelska (likrytmisk, rimmar)
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Yet Again My Darling Denny

Yet again my darling Denny
Had to run away undressed.
Hubby didn't lose a penny:
Once more with new briefs he's blessed!
 
© St.Sol @ LT: all rights reserved.
Inskickad av St. SolSt. Sol Fre, 22/03/2019 - 19:35
Senast ändrad av St. SolSt. Sol Sön, 24/03/2019 - 11:54
5
: None Average: 5 (1 vote)
Kommentarer
SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Fre, 22/03/2019 - 19:44

Pretty good, but indication that it's not the first such occasion is missed though. I think that is the "salt" of this limerick.

St. SolSt. Sol    Fre, 22/03/2019 - 19:46

Why? It says: "Yet again"

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Fre, 22/03/2019 - 19:47

I meant the last line - its the funniest one.

St. SolSt. Sol    Fre, 22/03/2019 - 19:56

2 syllables will have to be added to L4 to accomplish that, but then the reference to Denny will have to be removed to keep the syllable count the same. The result will be a confusion about whose briefs were misplaced.

BratBrat    Lör, 23/03/2019 - 01:46

Denny could be shortened to Den that spares one syllable...

BratBrat    Lör, 23/03/2019 - 02:36

I thought it would be smth. like "Found again Den's briefs misplaced"... Teeth smile

St. SolSt. Sol    Sön, 24/03/2019 - 01:05

The latest fix is in Regular smile

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Sön, 24/03/2019 - 01:55

I guess everyone likes something specific in those 4 lines; but for me previous variant was stronger and carried the original joke well.

BratBrat    Fre, 22/03/2019 - 19:48

В накладке-> внакладе

St. SolSt. Sol    Fre, 22/03/2019 - 19:51

Что купил, то и продаю: претензий на авторство оригинала не предъявляю. Язык народный. Regular smile