Животные инстинкты | Zhivotnyye instinkty ( översättning till engelska)

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Животные инстинкты | Zhivotnyye instinkty

Я - не ханжа. Я - за животные инстинкты!
Любовь - как у волков: чтоб раз - и на всю жизнь!
Дворняг не уподоблюсь стае дикой:
У них свободы - кучи! Только нет семьи!
 
Inskickad av Marica NicolskaMarica Nicolska Tis, 10/04/2018 - 17:49
Senast ändrad av FloppylouFloppylou Mån, 10/06/2019 - 14:29
översättning till engelska engelska
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Animal Instincts

I'm not a prude. I always vote for instincts!
To love like wolves do: once and for all!
I'll never become like the flocks of mongrels:
They have got heaps of freedom but no household!
 
Please don't hesitate to correct me, especially if the translation language is your native language.
With Best Regards,
© Alexander Laskavtsev
Inskickad av Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev Ons, 11/04/2018 - 11:39
Added in reply to request by Marica NicolskaMarica Nicolska
Senast ändrad av Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev Fre, 20/04/2018 - 13:22
Den som skrev översättningen har anhållit om korrekturläsning.
Det innebär att vederbörande gärna emottager rättelser, förslag etc. angående översättningen.
Den som är kunnig i båda språken får gärna kommentera.
Kommentarer
Marica NicolskaMarica Nicolska    Tor, 12/04/2018 - 13:57

I like your translating very much! But... maybe not "a heap of freedom" but "heaps of freedom"? Sorry, I am not sure too

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    Tor, 12/04/2018 - 14:05

"a heap" звучит плавнее - добавляется одна гласная, и фраза звучит на одном дыхании, особо не меняя смысла. Regular smile
сначала хотел "a lot" написать, потом вспомнил, что знаю слово "куча" Wink smile

Marica NicolskaMarica Nicolska    Tor, 12/04/2018 - 14:43

Я эту фразочку со словаря списала. Обычно сама путаюсь в подобных изречениях. У Вас великолепный перевод, спасибо!

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    Fre, 20/04/2018 - 13:03
petit élève wrote:

ханжа -> I don't know that word, but looking at wikislovar it seems to me "hypocrite" would better fit the context (though "prude" would be ok in some other cases).

Why not? Regular smile These are synonyms

petit élève wrote:

To love like wolves do -> "I love..." sounds more natural to me. "to love" sounds like an infinitive.

I wanted to put an infinitive there. My idea actually was: {I prefer} to love...

petit élève wrote:

heaps of freedom -> I agree, the plural sounds much better. Similar to "lots of freedom" or "freedom aplenty/galore".

Corrected.

petit élève wrote:

household -> not quite sure that works here. Why not simply "no family" ?

Rhymes Wink smile

St. SolSt. Sol    Fre, 20/04/2018 - 13:14

While I admire rhymed poetic translations, the rhymes are not enough: the meter needs to be made consistent throughout (even though the original is not perfectly metered).
L2 is missing a beat (around "once")
L3: stressing "a" is undesirable in poetry, probably needs to be rearranged.
L4: "a heaps" needs correcting.
Regards, St.

Treugol'nyTreugol'ny    Ons, 11/12/2019 - 11:43

"the flocks of mongrels" There is no such thing, and the household is not a family.

Marica NicolskaMarica Nicolska    Tor, 12/12/2019 - 10:03

Oh, I am not sure, but I was ready to say "the household" too! What would be better to say?

Treugol'nyTreugol'ny    Tor, 12/12/2019 - 10:14

They have... just don't have a family. A pack of mongrels, (a flock of birds).

Marica NicolskaMarica Nicolska    Fre, 13/12/2019 - 17:17

Maybe...What does a native speaker think about it?

Treugol'nyTreugol'ny    Fre, 13/12/2019 - 20:57

I'm not a native speaker, but flock of dogs is absolutely wrong.Also, household is not a family.