Salve a Selva 2019-11-11
MichaelNa 2020-04-26| Tack! ❤ |  |  |
| tackad 2 gånger | ||
Motormouse 2019-11-12
Ivan Luden Motormouse 2019-11-16| 1. | Foreign versions of The Beatles's songs (Vol. I) |
BlackSea4ever
Tis, 12/11/2019 - 21:07
Could you review this line: I know mistakes allow us to move on
Shouldn't it say: ...mistakes won't allow us to move on? [@silenced] Pierre, could you help out?
Motormouse
Fre, 15/11/2019 - 21:58
I'm not so sure... To me the verse says that despite the state of the World, it continues to turn but at the same time there is a sadness about it. Despite the mistakes we have made, we are allowed to move forward, but again at the same time there is sadness about it.
I'm admit I may have missed the negative nuance, but I think the only thing in that line I'd change is the word 'allowed' to 'lets' and then eliminate 'to'. What do you think?
BlackSea4ever
Fre, 15/11/2019 - 22:23
[@jadis] Philippe, could you please take a look and let us know what you think. Thanks.
I'd rather get help as I'm afraid to steer you the wrong way.
Ww Ww
Fre, 15/11/2019 - 22:30
Keep in mind in your thoughts that the original lyrics are from another artist, an old favorite of mine. It might give you further insight.
https://lyricstranslate.com/en/Beatles-While-My-Guitar-Gently-Weeps-lyri...
BlackSea4ever
Fre, 15/11/2019 - 22:48
We know the song, it's French that befuddles... Lol, no idea it was possible to have something pass my brain and just leave a vague suggestion that something was there... 😢
MichaelNa
Fre, 15/11/2019 - 23:06
From my elementary French I remember that “permettront” is in the future tense, henceforth, it should be ‘will allow”.
I don’t find anything odd with that i. e. mistakes don’t have to hold you back forever, eventually you can “forgive and forget” in order to move on... but still my piano is gently weeping.
Jadis
Lör, 16/11/2019 - 08:03
"I know mistakes will allow us to move on" would be OK in this case. Of course, if the author of the lyrics had a minimal knowledge of written French, he would have written "Je sais, les erreurs nous permettront d'avancer », with a comma after “je sais”, but you know... general decadence, growing illiteracy... (yet this text is simply bad, not awful as many are). :(
Jadis
Lör, 16/11/2019 - 21:00
Well, I listened to that passage several times and it seems not impossible that he sings "Je sais qu' les erreurs nous permettront d'avancer", which would be synctactically acceptable, but it's hard to tell. Anyway the French version sounds poor, as I said... and so does the interpretation. The version of the Beatles is a thousand times better.
(But I confirm that there is no hijacking in there, the original (Beatles) versions says "I don't know how you were diverted / you were perverted too")
MichaelNa
Lör, 16/11/2019 - 21:38
I don’t know if it’s poor composition or transcription, I just suggested a way to make the sentence clearer and vaguely closer to the original “With every mistake we must surely be learning”.
Regarding “hijack”, I definitely agree with you. Hijacking is taking something by force from someone like hijack a plane, a truck etc. When people are taken by force it’s called kidnap.
In the context of this song I think that the George Harrison word (diverted) or detoured would be a lot more appropriate.
One thing that I prefer in this adaptation is the part with the climate change allusion “The soil that carries us deserved a different fate“, an improvement over “I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping“.
Jadis
Lör, 16/11/2019 - 21:17
It's interesting. In the Beatles' version, the rhymes are very rich on purpose, while in this French version they are very poor (ex : "dit / pervertis" ; as to "dort / sort", it is called a "sufficient" rhyme). But that makes the English version very pleasant to listen to, even if the meaning seems sometimes a little "baroque", like that ground that needs sweeping (but that perhaps touches me more than "le sol qui nous portait méritait un autre sort", which sounds somehow stuck-up). And "my guitar gentle weeps" is much better than "mon piano est en pleurs" ("être en pleurs" is rather a literary expression, and a piano is much more solemn than a guitar).
And of course, that whining.voice (I would call it a "Balavoine-style" voice) sounds off the mark.
BlackSea4ever
Fre, 15/11/2019 - 23:12
Ah, thank you!
Motormouse
Lör, 16/11/2019 - 05:58
Edited the song to include the future tense...
Jadis
Lör, 16/11/2019 - 08:34
BTW, in the last stanza, I guess that "détourner" here doesn't mean "to hijack", rather "to lure us away, to divert us, to distract us, to take us out of our way, to lead us astray", or something like that (actually, it doesn't mean much in French, so I wouldn't venture to choose the best equivalent).
If I can improve this translation, let me know and I'll make the changes accordingly.
Cheers, Craig. :-)