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  • ELMAN

    ELMAN

    Лети → översättning till engelska

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    , #2, turkiska
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Fly away

Låttexter ( ryska)
Fly away, my soul, your familiar way,
Please find her, my only one
So that love would awaken in my heart again.
 
Fly away, my soul, your familiar way,
Please find her, my only one
So that love would awaken in my heart again.
 
We are in this cruel world in search of love.
We’ve been losing faith even if we were close-knit.
To a game (of love) it doesn’t matter who blamed whom.
We negated everything that we treasured so much.
 
How to forget about the past if it bothers us so.
But please, soul, find the one who would become the dearest above all the rest for me.
And when I suddenly meet you,
I will lay the world at your feet.
 
But, right now
You are dragging me down with you.
But I am not drowning with you to the bottom.
It hasn’t let go of us for so long.
Love has made us lose our minds.
 
You are dragging me with you again.
But I am not drowning with you to the bottom.
Only the one who got us together
Got us apart.
 
Fly away, my soul, your familiar way, by heart,
Please find her, my only one
So that love would awaken in my heart again.
 
Fly away, my soul, your familiar way, by heart,
Please find her, my only one
So that love would awaken in my heart again.
 
You know, I’ve been searching so long just for you.
As if my eyes are covered with a mist
Without you, without you.
 
You are dragging me down with you.
But I am not drowning with you to the bottom.
It hasn’t let go of us for so long.
Love has made us lose our minds.
 
Fly away, my soul, your familiar way, by heart,
Please find her, my only one
So that love would awaken in my heart again.
 
Fly away, my soul, your familiar way, by heart,
Please find her, my only one
So that love would awaken in my heart again.
 
Originaltexter

Лети

Låttexter ( ryska)

✕
ELMAN: Topp 3
1.Антигерой (Antigeroy)
2.Черная любовь (Chernaya lyubovʹ)
3.Лети (Leti)
Kommentarer
WolfyrianWolfyrian    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 14:34

Hi! May I use this beautiful translation for my Turkish translation for this song?
Yours is very delicate and don't wanna change anything here while translating this.

IremiaIremia
   Tis, 22/09/2020 - 14:58

Sure! I will only be honored! 😊

WolfyrianWolfyrian    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 14:58

Thanks, that's very nice of you!

PinchusPinchus    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 15:14

> Мы теряли веру, даже если родные
Мы теряли веру, даже если (мы с тобой) родные

IremiaIremia
   Tis, 22/09/2020 - 15:17

True! Thank you PZ! Fixed.

silencedsilenced    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 15:55

Fly away, my soul, by heart -> that's nice. Nicer than the original, actually.

To a game -> I might well misread the Russian but I rather understand "in this game" (as a metaphor for life)

if it bothers so -> that sounds unfinished to me, I'd expect "it bothers so many of us" or something.
What about "it bothers us so" or "it's such a bother / so bothersome/worrying/alarming"?

But, please soul, find the one who would become the dearest above the rest for me. -> this talking to about any material or immaterial object is a pain to translate, isn't it? I think that might be worth a second glance, the English is not as readable as the Russian.

I will suddenly meet you -> I'd drop the "will"

та, что нас связала -> I suppose it's about (personified) love, but that sounds a bit confusing in English. "the feeling that brought us together is also tearing us apart" or something?

covered with a film -> "as if a veil covered/clouded my eyes" or something? That would sound less technical.

WolfyrianWolfyrian    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:06

Making it meaningful is gonna cost more than sacrificing a few words, here's what I think about this:

"So that love would sprout in my heart again" = "Чтобы вновь в моём сердце проснулась любовь"

Too many variations...

For covered with a film, it can mean considering those words, something like: "As if the light has gone out of my eyes"

These all make perfect sense when it comes to Turkish but not sure if I can say the same for English, it's basically losing some words and replacing them...

silencedsilenced    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:17

I can't say I'm very fond of "awaken" either. I'd rather use "stir" like a being waking from a deep sleep. But "awaken" looks like sound English to me nevertheless.

WolfyrianWolfyrian    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:22

I could make another one but except for the variations, nothing's wrong here...

silencedsilenced    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:29

Might be an opportunity to produce a poetic version with more rephrasing. I'd be glad to read it. These are rather nice lyrics with interesting metaphors.

WolfyrianWolfyrian    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:35

Hmm, will get to it now then... :D
Don't forget to leave a "Thanks" or even better, a "Vote" if you like it :D
Let's see what kinda work I'll perform with a Russian native speaker by my side, I still don't think it can be any better than this one but anyways...

PinchusPinchus    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:45

Правда? И какая метафора Вам показалась интересной?
Это довольно грязный русский язык, если честно. Автор им владеет не очень хорошо.

WolfyrianWolfyrian    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:59

It's because he's not Russian, JONY, ANDRO...
These guys are not Russian, that's why it's so hard to translate their songs

silencedsilenced    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:59

Needless to say I'm a terrible judge of Russian quality, but trying to render the song in more flowing English seems interesting to me. These personifications (of love and soul in that case) are always somewhat challenging to convey.

WolfyrianWolfyrian    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 17:01

I did something I guess, check it out! Metaphors weren't that easy but tried my best.

PinchusPinchus    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 17:25

Спасибо за это Ире! Все эти "лети, душа", "мир к ногам", "пелена на глазах" - избитые штампы. Очень смешно использовать в такое песенке слово "обнулили" (я даже знаю, откуда автор его узнал)

BratBrat    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 18:37

Да уж... Пустить к ногам можно разве что струю... Но вряд ли это обрадует обладателя ног...
И ещё, мне так сдаётся, что по памяти в данном контексте не by heart, а скорее by force of habit.
Soul, do fly your habitual way...

WolfyrianWolfyrian    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 18:40

I'mma steal that thought, just so you know :D

silencedsilenced    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 18:45

I agree the meaning suffers a bit, but the soul / heart association might be worth the sacrifice, just this one time :)

BratBrat    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 19:02

This whole song is worth the sacrifice, for I still can't wrap my head around it. And it's not like my Russian is way too bad... ;)

silencedsilenced    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 19:08

Apparently my blurry Russian made me mistake a toad for a dove yet again. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

IremiaIremia
   Tis, 22/09/2020 - 20:25

“Habitual way” sounds kinda domestic and non-romantic. If we want to change it to something else, I’d change it to “fly your familiar way..”

barsiscevbarsiscev    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 16:53

Hi, wild cat from other wild cat!

silencedsilenced    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 17:29

Meow!

barsiscevbarsiscev    Tis, 22/09/2020 - 18:06

Мяу-мяу-мяу!!!
А лучше Ррр, я же большой кот - леопард.

IremiaIremia
   Tis, 22/09/2020 - 18:16

Hi everybody! I will read all your comments and rework my translation as needed a little later. Thanks!

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