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Родина моя (Rodina moya) ( översättning till engelska)

  • Artist: Маша Шейх
  • Låt: Родина моя (Rodina moya)
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översättning till engelska engelska
/ ryska
A A

My Homeland

Deep at the bottom dark waters are there,
This time you quickly understand who you are,
You fly high, words don't suffice
Emotions and feelings are bolted shut.
It's all ashes, you know, and it's blown away by the wind,
Time to take an oar, time hones the syllable,
And if you are lucky the heart remains there,
Time to be with family, time to warm up at home.
 
Time to draw conclusions very carefully
What shouldn't have been and could have been were ruined,
Votes were divided and opinion was divided,
I no more trust those formerly close to me,
Masks fall away from people and it is no loss
Say thanks for everything, and the rooms are empty
To be filled with only what is real
Give us life, rising day.
 
My homeland, I'm sad, sad,
Who am I without you? For we share feelings,
Protect love, you are a warm heart
People are God and there's enough room for us all.
 
I know there will be sun, I know there will be light
I know we will be happy as never before, many years
To infinity, Earth forgives
We often haven't appreciated what doesn't so strongly sparkle
Blindfolded, and hands on all sides,
Soon we will find out what plan this truth has,
Here the main thing is to gather and not fall into a trap
Well, how are you there? Well how are you there?
 
And I like before will give my love to verses
Even when my heart is in tatters I will pray
For everyone, it doesn't matter what answer is given,
We will continue to carry the brightest light
And if it seems to someone here that there's no hope
Well, so what, hello, this is a stanza for us,
I will build again from the very beginning
An auspicious wind loves those who haven't forgotten how to begin from the dock.
 
My homeland, I'm sad, sad,
Who am I without you? For we share feelings,
Protect love, you are a warm heart
People are God and there's enough room for us all.
 
My homeland, I'm sad, sad,
Who am I without you? For we share feelings,
Protect love, you are a warm heart
People are God and there's enough room for us all.
...
 
Tack!
tackad 3 gånger

"My road to success is always under construction" I appreciate all kinds of feedback, especially corrections, constructive criticism and suggestions for improvement.

Inskickad av Kevin RainbowKevin Rainbow Lör, 14/05/2022 - 16:04
Added in reply to request by RafeaRafea
Senast ändrad av Kevin RainbowKevin Rainbow Tis, 14/06/2022 - 03:14
Den som skrev översättningen har anhållit om korrekturläsning.
Det innebär att vederbörande gärna emottager rättelser, förslag etc. angående översättningen.
Den som är kunnig i båda språken får gärna kommentera.

Родина моя (Rodina moya)

Idioms from "Родина моя"
Kommentarer
Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Sön, 15/05/2022 - 19:14

A few ideas to make it more understandable in English. Otherwise, very good!

It's all ashes, you know, and IT'S blown away by the wind,
Time to take an oar, time hones the syllable, = Time to take the reins, and raise your voice

Masks fall away from people and IT'S no loss

Protect love, you are a warm heart = Take care of your love, you with a warm heart

People are God and there's not enough room for us all. Everyone! This is God! There's room for everyone!

I know we will be happy as never before, FOR many years
UNTIL infinity, THE earth forgives

Eyes are tied, and hands on all sides, = Blindfolded, our hands tied behind our backs.

Here the main thing is to gather and not fall into a trap = The main thing here is to be unified and not fall into their trap.

Well, so what, hello, this is a stanza for us, = Well, so what? HELLO! This is our rallying cry.

An auspicious wind loves those who haven't forgotten how to begin from the dock. =
An auspicious wind loves those who haven't forgotten how to start at the beginning.

BratBrat    Sön, 22/05/2022 - 17:58
Phil Ambro escribió:

Eyes are tied, and hands on all sides, = Blindfolded, our hands tied behind our backs.

Nope, this just means they are groping their ways...

Kevin RainbowKevin Rainbow    Sön, 15/05/2022 - 22:39

Thank you for the corrections (which I will fix right away) and suggestions for some improvements of the wording.

Cita:

Well, so what? HELLO! This is our rallying cry.

Interesting, that even in this song you wouldn't translate куплет literally, despite it fitting into the context well. "Rallying cry" is interesting, but definitely too "non-literal" for me.

Cita:

behind our backs.

Doesn't sound right. "Behind our backs" would be "за нашими спинами".

Cita:

An auspicious wind loves those who haven't forgotten how to start at the beginning.

"Beginning" is already used at the end of the previous line. It wouldn't sound good to use it so soon again.

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Sön, 15/05/2022 - 23:13

As for your ideas, it's your translation. I do change words a LOT to make the meaning clearer in English. Sometimes it's just a difference in style, other times it's necessary. For example, in Russian "red" implies "beauty" sometimes, and when it does you should definitely translate it as "beauty" because "red" would just be confusing in English. Also, "black" in Russian is often used to mean "bad". When it means this, it has to be changed to "bad" in English, otherwise it would sound racist.

With respect to this translation the word "auspicious" is rather poetic, but you used it, and it's fine. I would translate the line like "A favorable wind guides those who haven't forgotten how to start from the beginning." Of course, that's NOT what the original post says. But, it makes much more sense in English.
As for the preceding line that uses "beginning" in it. Yes, it does sound weird to use the same word twice so closely together (by thesaurus rules). But, rather than change "start at the beginning", I would change the previous line: to "...start anew." Or "...start all over." That would get rid of two "beginnings".
But all of this is just my opinion. Your translation is fine. Just giving you a few options, to make it more easily understood in English. Most of your translation is very well done. So, take my words as they are - just my opinion.
Hugs. Phil.

Kevin RainbowKevin Rainbow    Mån, 16/05/2022 - 04:04
Cita:

Also, "black" in Russian is often used to mean "bad". When it means this, it has to be changed to "bad" in English, otherwise it would sound racist.

I translated it as "black" here -
https://lyricstranslate.com/ru/strelok-shooter.html

I think it's fine to use "black" to mean "bad" sometimes - it is part of English too. It can't be racist if race is nowhere included in the equation of what is being referred to. "Black friday" "black magic", "black death" - these are obviously not racist expressions.

Cita:

As for the preceding line that uses "beginning" in it. Yes, it does sound weird to use the same word twice so closely together (by thesaurus rules). But, rather than change "start at the beginning", I would change the previous line: to "...start anew." Or "...start all over." That would get rid of two "beginnings"

It could work. But I still don't understand why you think a literal translation of "с причала" should be avoided/omitted, especially when "favorable wind" is there and "from the beginning" is already covered by the earlier line.

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Mån, 16/05/2022 - 14:22

True that old idioms that have lasted throughout time (from racist times), don't imply racism today. However, when it's NOT an idiom, today it's iffy. And, even when someone uses those old terms today, it's quite common that someone might say "Why it gotta be black?!" in a joking manner, to point out the racism in the archaic saying. So... Once again, do what you want.

Well, so what, hello, this is a stanza for us,
I will build again from the very beginning
An auspicious wind loves those who haven't forgotten how to begin from the dock.

As for the two beginnings. "to start at the beginning." is just how we say that clause. It's pretty much the only way we say that. I can't imaging anyone saying "to start from the dock" unless it was a swimming competition. It would sound weird any other way. The other line doesn't sound weird being changed in a manner of different ways. "build again from scratch", "build again anew", "build again from nothing", etc. That's why I said to change the first rather than the second.

As a native English speaker, I don't understand why we're having these discussions, especially since Canadian English (yours) and American English (mine) are so similar in so many ways.

One last thing. Why do you write "...God. There's NOT room enough for everyone." I don't see a NOT in the original. Seems like it's "There's room enough for everyone." Am I wrong?!

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Sön, 15/05/2022 - 23:16

As for the "hands on all sides" line. I really don't understand its Russian significance. So, you're probably right to leave it the way you wrote it. But, it makes no sense in English. Maybe it's gibberish in Russian too. I have no idea.

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Sön, 15/05/2022 - 23:26

One more thing about the line "hands all around". I'm by NO MEANS fluent in Russian, and know very little Russian culture. However, it seems to me that the line implies that the eyes are bound (blindfolded), but your hands are not (they can do whatever they want). So, maybe it would be better to say "Our eyes are blindfolded, but our hands are still free."

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Sön, 15/05/2022 - 23:24

As for not wanting to use "rallying cry", fair enough. How about "this is our mantra."

Kevin RainbowKevin Rainbow    Mån, 16/05/2022 - 04:09

Again, why do you seem to be against the literal meaning of the Russian word? But at least "mantra" is closer to куплет than "chapter" and "rallying cry"

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Mån, 16/05/2022 - 14:15

Well, it just sounds weird to say "stanza" referring to anything other than sheet music, or song lyrics. And, in this case, within the writing, you're NOT referring to either of them. You're referring to a "story" of "history". And, not the Bible either.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Tor, 19/05/2022 - 04:50

Because the literal meaning doesn't translate the meaning

Here:

Время брать весло, время точит слог

They are going to a battle, the time will sharpen the word

Something like this
🙂

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Lör, 21/05/2022 - 20:23

Does that mean, "Going to battle, time will tell who wins"?

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Sön, 22/05/2022 - 04:17

Sorry, I missed a "not" word. My curse from a grammar school is missing letters, now words .... probably because I am typing slower than I am thinking.
She is kinda asking them to take an oar instead of a raffle? That is the only metaphorical sense I can think about in this context

BratBrat    Sön, 22/05/2022 - 17:54

Technically, the oar trope is put here to mean the beginning of a new life, a new way. The "точит" is much more interesting for it's a metonymy right in between of "подтачивает" (erodes) and "оттачивает" (hones). I can't give a decent English equivalent, except for, maybe, "grind", that is not as smart as the original though... The Russian idiomatic background is the following, FYI: "вода камень точит", "отточенный слог".
The next tough line is "разделяли голоса, разделяло мнение". It is based on the following two idiomatic phrases: "голоса разделились" - "votes divided/split" and "разделять мнение" - "to share an opinion". Though the actual meaning is twisted dramatically. Literally, it means smth. like that: "we were separated depending upon what we voted for, we were divided upon the opinions we had". And the background of the stem idioms is still in effect...

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Sön, 22/05/2022 - 18:53

Время точит слог. - время оттачивает слова, типа теперь они точно знают, что говорят...
просто мысли вслух

I totally agree -- it's 'votes', not 'voices'

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Mån, 16/05/2022 - 00:05

I'm not fighting. He was RIGHT about the arms thing. LOL

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