Душа
Sophia_ tarafından 2018-11-29 tarihinde eklendi.Soul
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| 4 teşekkür aldı | ||
Igeethecat tarafından 2018-11-30 tarihinde eklendi.Sophia_ adlı kullanıcının isteğine karşılık olarak eklendiIgeethecat tarafından en son 2018-12-14 tarihinde düzenlendiBu, çeviriyle ilgili düzeltme, öneri vs. almaktan memnun olacağı anlamına gelmektedir.
Her iki dilde de yetkinseniz, lütfen çekinmeden yorumlarınızı bırakın.
| 1. | Гений (Geniy) |
| 2. | Йога (Yoga) |
| 3. | Душа (Dusha) |
| 1. | с пеленок |
BlackSea4ever
Salı, 04/12/2018 - 13:14
It's really well done, thanks!
Igeethecat
Çarş, 05/12/2018 - 08:05
Thanks :)
Phil Ambro
Pzt, 17/12/2018 - 23:22
Wow! No wonder I have problems translating Russian songs and poetry! They are often so bizarre in English, and at least this one is rather horrific, although I'm sure it's not in Russian. It's so hard to translate a poem such as this, without causing dread in another language. "I cut her breast open with a scalpel to get to her soul"? The visual that an American would see reading this line is nothing less than a nightmare. Is it the same in Russian? Or would a Russian not be horrified reading this? If the line is NOT horrific in Russian, I would strongly suggest smoothing it out in English to something less drastic, although keeping the meaning in tact, maybe something like: "My scalpel cut her breast to reach her soul" (It's more poetic, and less graphic.) But, I understand the wont to keep translations as close to the original as possible. So, perhaps your version is the only way to respectfully and accurately translate this. I do have one question though. Who jumps up from the table and starts dancing? Because, in this translation, the Maiden (she) starts dancing. If it was the soul that jumped up and started dancing, that should be translated as "It started dancing." Because in English souls have no gender. But, because this is Russian, I have no idea whether the Maiden or the soul was dancing, because as an American reading the Russian, it is not clear to me. Lastly, I wonder what this poem means to Russians. Does it mean that Maidens don't need souls? From an American point of view, not having Russian culture to guide me, I have no idea what the meaning of this poem should be. Certainly we all need souls? So, why would excising one be beneficial, especially one that can dance? So, strange. So bizarre. No wonder I am alwasy at a loss with Russian.
BlackSea4ever
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 00:26
Omg. You can at least read few articles there are out there about this man. You can also expand your language skills before these tirades. Words and concepts are not limited to what one knows - the ability, no desire to understand what another person says is the key to translating.
Phil Ambro
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 04:51
So you cannot tell me who was dancing either? The maiden or the soul?
Jadis
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 07:18
I understand it's the girl. She jumps off the table and starts dancing because she feels that she's cured. The soul remains, before dissipating. I also raised an eyebrow about the scalpel and all that, but I guess the doctor had to open the girl's breast one way or another to free the soul, and a can-opener would probably be of less use... :)
sandring
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 08:00
I agree with Jadis. The main point of this ironic song is that life comes easier to those who don't have a soul to suffer. But the irony itself comes with a special stylistic device called "Split-up metaphor" when a set or idiomatic expression is not treated as such but as a common phrase. Ex: She undressed to reveal her bare soul. He found himself in a vice that griped his soul (double pun). So the whole song is playing around Russian idiomatic, metaphoric expressions like Раненная душа, быть раненным в душу, вынуть душу из кого-нибудь, душа растворилась, душа болит. They are presented in their initial pre-metaphoric image which gives such a quaint effect. :)
Phil Ambro
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 16:16
To translate poetry poetically in another language, especially from a Slavic language (Russian) into a Germanic one (English) is no simple task. It would take a person truly versed in both languages and cultures to do so. It's a bit much to ask of volunteers on such a site at this. The translation is good, but it does lack poetic style in English.
BlackSea4ever
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 16:42
Hope not. I love your work. I frequently check idioms too.
Phil Ambro
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 17:19
NO! Do NOT abandon what inspires you! Your attempts are NOT futile. Your translation was nice! I was simply saying that it's not possible to translate the same style of poetry that exists in Russian into a style of English poetry. Sorry if you misunderstood.
St. Sol
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 19:44
Perhaps you were talking about Maria's translation. I could have done this piece equirhythmically but most likely I won't. Equirhythmic rhyming translations preserving the full meaning and introducing minimum poetic liberties are the ultimate challenge, but life is too short to waste it on pointless mental exercises. Regards.
Phil Ambro
Salı, 18/12/2018 - 21:38
Once again, if you enjoy it. It's no pointless. Don't let the seeming lack of interest on the behalf of others divert YOU from doing what pleases you. That's what I was saying, to everyone. :)
Igeethecat
Çarş, 19/12/2018 - 07:23
Thanks to all of you guys for the comments and sharing your thoughts. Sorry, I am responding too late - this last week before Christmas is crazy :)
I love all your comments and opinions.
And Phil, in the original, he basically “dissected her breasts (plural) with a {oh, dear, yeah} scalpel”, not a hunting knife. It sounds sorta horrifying, I guess, in Russian too, but I seriously don’t see any horror here, just irony...
And about “who’s dancing” - it’s kinda obvious to me (at least) - in Russian version, it’s ‘the patient’ (the girl, or who else?), but ‘the patient’ sounds muscular to my Russian ear, so I choose ‘she’, ‘cause the soul would be “it”, or I am missing something here?
Phil Ambro
Çarş, 19/12/2018 - 18:31
I was just confused because in Russian both the woman and the soul would be "she". So being that the soul appeared as a baby, it seemed to me that the soul jumped up and started dancing. After all, it hadn't just been cut open by a scalpel, unlike the woman. So, it just seemed strange that a woman who just had her breast cut open would jump up and start dancing. I was kinda hoping that it was the soul. Like most Russian lyrics, I over think them, and still end up wrong in the end anyway. As for "breast" or "breasts", singular is fine really. I mean did the doctor really have to cut both of them? I hope not. ;/
Brat
Çarş, 19/12/2018 - 18:39
I was just confused because in Russian both the woman and the soul would be "she". So being that the soul appeared as a baby, it seemed to me that the soul jumped up and started dancing. After all, it hadn't just been cut open by a scalpel, unlike the woman. So, it just seemed strange that a woman who just had her breast cut open would jump up and start dancing. I was kinda hoping that it was the soul.
Look, there's said "И стала больная плясать", "больная" is a noun here, meaning "the patient" (as you see, it could be both noun and adjective, as well as "patient" in English. ;)
Like most Russian lyrics, I over think them, and still end up wrong in the end anyway. As for "breast" or "breasts", singular is fine really. I mean did the doctor really have to cut both of them? I hope not. ;/
Груди is a metonymy here, used for the sake of rhythm, mainly.
Thank you :)