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This cowardice 1.

She doesn't even realize that when I look at her,
not to give myself away, I hold back a sigh,
that just by looking at her, my silent love ignites
That I would give my life to make her mine.
 
She doesn't even realize that my eyes shine,
that I tremble and even blush by her side;
that she is the reason that awakens my love
that she is my delirium, and she doesn't realize it.
 
This cowardice of my love for her
makes me see her as if she were a star,
so far from reality, so far
that I have no hope to reach her, ever. (2x)
.
(2x)
 
She doesn't even notice that she always had
the thousands of kisses she never asked for,
that in my sad nights, deserted by sleep,
in crazy desire, I feel I'm her beloved.
 
She doesn't even notice that I already enjoyed her
that, without possessing her, she has already been mine,
that her cold soul is what torments me,
that she sees I'm dying, and she doesn't notice.
 
This cowardice of my love for her
makes me see her as if she were a star,
so far from reality, so far
that I have no hope to reach her, ever.
(3x)
 
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Julio Iglesias: En İyi 3
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roster 31roster 31
   Pzt, 02/12/2013 - 19:15

Kais, are you checking all my translations? Go on, please!

roster 31roster 31
   Perş, 24/04/2014 - 18:51

Thank you, Aldefina. How nice of you!
The last answer refers to the original, no the translation.Did you notice? I would like to make another comment in regards to this, but I don't know how.
And who could be this OPtimus Prime?

AldefinaAldefina    Perş, 24/04/2014 - 19:53

Yes, but I saw that replay only now.

What this guy wrote is ridiculous. I wonder how much is he able to understand in English. Probably very little.

It sounded like a joke:
"We do not steal or copy lyrics from other websites. I know that our member keeskees typed these lyrics with his own fingers while listening to this song. And I know he speaks Spanish."

I couldn't stop laughing for a long while after reading this. We also type with our own fingers the lyrics of all songs, don't we ;) ? (Doesn't apply to me - I always copy and past them :p ).

Either he didn't realize that I meant the translation or he just played a fool.

I found it just by chance. I was searching the net for English translations of Julio's songs to compare them with that what I have already done.

Would you like to replay on your own? I can take care, though I believe it would be better for you as an author to do it.

If you don't know how: press "Post a replay" button; you will get a window where you need to type your text and (don't forget) also type "stopspam" in a given window - probably it was the reason for your problems.

I think it's up to you to decide whether you accept it as long as they give the source of translation, plus you as an author, and ban (or give a warning to OptimusPrime) or whether you want them to delete it. Think about it first.

If you are unable to post it, send me the text and I'll do it.

And don't ask me who is this OptimusPrime. The only think I know about him is what he isn't - he isn't clever, 'cause he has even copied the numbers of your annotations, but has forgotten to copy these annotations :bigsmile: .

roster 31roster 31
   Perş, 24/04/2014 - 23:17

I did wonder where and how you found it.

It is really stupid to say that the proof that he didn't copy is that he made an spelling mistake...! You can tell him, "click on the LT link, and see...!

And what about the translation? The fact that he submitted it, does it mean it's his work? He could have said, "This is not my translation, I found it in the web".

That's right. Just look at the title with a "1". It was for my first annotation. There are no annotations in this 'copy'.

You can answer and say what you feel is appropriated. I'll think about it myself.

Have fun!

roster 31roster 31
   Cum, 25/04/2014 - 11:26

No, I didn't send any other comments. Let's leave it as is.

Hasta la próxima, y gracias.

AldefinaAldefina    Cmt, 08/08/2015 - 15:17

Rosa, just one suggestion. No matter what the original says, I don’t think it’s good to say in English: “she sees I'm dying, and doesn't notice it”. For me if you say “sees” it implies that she must notice it. I would recommend you to write “she looks at me how I’m dying (or watches me dying) and doesn’t notice it” or something similar, but with “look at”, “watch” or “gaze”.

roster 31roster 31
   Pzr, 09/08/2015 - 13:11

Thank you, Andrzej for your suggestion. Although English is my second language, there is always something new to learn but, I have asked to English speakers and they tell me that "she sees I'm dying, and doesn't notice it”" is fine. I'll leave it as is, and I'll ask somebody else.

AldefinaAldefina    Pzr, 09/08/2015 - 22:15

Rosa, check this:
http://www.spanishdict.com/translate/ver

I didn’t check it when I was translating Chiquetete’s version. I didn’t feel like I had to do it. For me “ver” meant “to see” and this way this part: “ve que me muero y no se da cuenta” was strange. I would say “mira” and this way I translated it: “she watches me dying and doesn’t notice it”.

So it’s correct in Spanish, but no matter what some native English speakers would tell I believe there’s a substantial difference between “look” and “see” - also in all languages that I speak: “Miras pero no ves que me muero”. This sentence shows it and I would always use it this way, even if three dictionaries, that you have on Spanishdict, tell that “ver” can mean both “look” and “see”.

roster 31roster 31
   Pzt, 10/08/2015 - 16:17

Andrzej, I know the meaning of the verbs and their differences. If we want to analyze them, I would say that "ver/see" is one of the five senses of the human being that allows you to perceive the objects around you. However, you can go through life seeing, and not perceiving many things. On the other hand, "mirar/watch-look" is an attitude by which one pays attention, focusing on something. Chances are that by watching, you will perceive better.
I have read the translations again and, to me "que ve que me muero and no se da cuenta" as well as the equivalent English "that she sees I'm dying, and doesn't notice it", sound perfectly fine.
Your translation is good. You think you are correct, good! I am satisfied with my version and I am going to leave it as is.
I appreciate your interest but we can't always be in agreement.
¡Hasta la vista!

AldefinaAldefina    Pzt, 10/08/2015 - 17:03

Rosa, it’s your translation and it’s up to you to decide how to translate it. :)

For me it was important to learn that “ver” can also mean “mirar”. Otherwise I wouldn’t have checked that.

roster 31roster 31
   Pzt, 10/08/2015 - 17:20

That's fine.

By the way (the other way), my daughter just came back from a trip to Czechoslovakia and Hungary and she said that the temperature was above 40 degrees.

AldefinaAldefina    Pzt, 10/08/2015 - 17:33

Could be. Everywhere in Europe we have African temperatures and I'm already half dead (or even more than half). I stopped caring about the temperatures outside. Whether it's 32 or 42 is not important anymore. Important is that at the moment inside it's already 29 and there's no way to cool the rooms, because at night the temperatures are hardly lower.

And, as I told you sometime ago, in my hometown the humidity is also very high, so even when it's "only" 30 it feels like 40.

michealtmichealt    Pzt, 17/08/2015 - 01:43
5

Nice translation, Rosa, but there are a couple of places where the English is rather odd:
line 2:I hold my sigh - usually people would say "I hold back a sigh"
line 6:the second "I" will divorce the "tremble" from the adverb "by her side" for many (I think most) people; leaving it out lets the adverb apply to the compound verb "tremble and even blush".
line 7: when the direct object is an emotion it is normal to use "awaken" rather than "awake".
line 8: the "that" at the end of teh line is superfluous and sounds clumsy, and the same applies to "it" at the end of line 20.
lines 11 and 12: "that" immediately follows "star" (on line 10) so is a relative pronoun (and not a subordinating conjunction) so it must be the direct object of "reaching" so that "her" at the end of the line is superfluous and grammatically incorrect; and that leaves "so far ...." as an adverb qualifying "reaching". If you swap the two lines "so far..." says something about where, how far, the star is, and "that" becomes a subordinating conjunction combined with the preceding "so..." to introduce the effect of that distance (and the English then matches the Spanish); "her" is then not superfluous, but perhaps the Spanish "la" here means "it" (the star) and not "her". This applies to lines 23 and 24 too.
line 15: English has "devoid of sleep" or "deserted by sleep", but never "deserted of" (nor "devoid by").
line 16: "on" doesn't really make sense; either "in" or "with" would make sense, I think "in" is what the Spanish means.
line 19: "that it is her cold soul what ..." isn't 'correct' English; if you use "what" you have a noun clause, not a relative clause. "that her cold soul is what ..." or "that it is her cold soul that ..."; using "what" to introduce a relative clause does happen but only amongst people who don't speak standard English.

roster 31roster 31
   Pzt, 17/08/2015 - 14:52

Tom, "a couple of odd places"? How can you give me five stars with all these mistakes?
7686 readers (a record) and no one said anything about it!

I have read your theoretical comments rather carefully, and this is what came out of it:
Lines 2, 6, 7 - Done.
Line 8 - "that", superfluous? I took time and worked at it trying to get some rhyme., and I was satisfied with the results. Clumsy? What a disappointment! Look what I did, changing the 'that' to a conjunction, and see what you think,
Line 20 - I made a change but, what is wrong with saying "doesn't notice it"?
Lines 11 and 12- Some changes made.
Lines 15, 16, 19 - Done.

I have left some things in "veremos". Please, read again, and let me know.
(It may be better grammatically but, I think, it has lost something poetically).

michealtmichealt    Pzt, 17/08/2015 - 18:03

Hi Rosa

don't worry about "all these mistakes" - only two of them are grammatical errors, and only one of the others has a completely wrong meaning. generally I regard grammatical errors as trivia if they allow the reader/listener to get the sense; and using an unusual phrasing may be intentional to make a point, "odd" doesn't mean "incorrect". Remember that English is spoken in a great variety of ways, there are differences between American and British and Indian and Australian and South African versions of English, and even within Britain there are substantial differences between Lowland Scots English, Highland Scots English, Northern England English, SE England English, english West Country English, Midlands English, and Irish English (differences in all of vocabulary, grammar, accidence, pronunciation as well as in what is or isn't common usage). So if you say something that I think is odd it may still be standard usage in one of the forms of English I'm not fully familiar with. So I'm going to comment on things that seem odd (ie strange) to me, but if I say something is odd or unusual that's because it's unusual in the circles I move in, it isnt necesssarily something that I regard as wrong.

Anyway, I'll make some comments now and look again tomorrow.

In lines 10 and 11 you changed the order of the lines AND eliminated "her"; but changing the order of the lines makes "that" no longer a relative pronoun object of reach, so unless you include either "her" or "it" after "reach" (which you use depends whether the "la" in Spanish means the girl or the star) it has no object. I guess my comment wasn't clear on that.

There isn't anything wrong with "doesn't notice it" or "doesn't notice that" in some contexts, but people mostly leave the pronoun object out after "not notice" if the referent of the pronoun is very close before the verb and is not an object. So the "it" and "that" as pronount objects of "not notice" are "odd" in its sense "unusual", since they refer to actions not objects. So for example it's more usual to say "She saw the cheese but he didn't notice" if you mean "...but he didn't notice that she saw the cheese" and to say "She saw the cheese but he didn't notice it" if you mean "...but he didn't notice the cheese". Sufficiently more usual that although including "it" when it usually would not be used is grammatically and syntactically correct it will almost always lead to misunderstanding so it has to be considered as semantically wrong.
So in your current line 8, the emphatic object pronoun "that" refers to "my delirium", and you can only make the fact "she is my delirium" the object os "notice" in one of two ways: one is simply to omit "that"; the other is to expand "that" to be "that she is" (making"that" a subordinating conjunction, instead of a pronoun) - so unless you want to say she doesn't notice the delirium instead of that she doesn't notice that she is the source/cause of "my" delerium, ending the line with "that" is wrong.
Line 20 is different - "she sees I'm dying and doesn't notice it" is semantically OK because there is no object to be the antecedent of "it", so it can only be the fact "she sees I'm dying"; so no-one can misunderstand it; but usually people say it without the "it". So you can have "it" or not have "it" - most common usage is not the only criterion.
With "realize" instead of "notice" anyway there's less of a problem because the object of "realize" is generally expected to be a fact, not an object (especially not a physical object) although of course there are some exceptions so there are far fewer cases where a pronoun object could refer to something other than a fact and using a pronoun to refer to a fact as the object of "realize" is fairly common where there is no suitable object to be a candidate.

One new point: "why do you have "I" rather than "I've" in line 17? I used to have trouble persuading people learning gàidhlig not to use "perfect tense" even when it was utterly inappropriate, because English uses it so much where other languages (French, Spanish, Italian, German, gàidhlig, Irish, Manx) don't; but here I think it would be appropriate even in gàidhlig, so very probably in English (except in London's and New York's Jewish communities, where I suspect it wouldn't be used in this line).

AldefinaAldefina    Cum, 11/09/2015 - 16:41

Hello Tom!

Thank you for your comments. You are as accurate and precise in English as Rosa is in Spanish and I love it! :)

I guess you don’t know that I have also translated this song. Even though I’m a great fan of Julio Iglesias I decided to submit it elsewhere:
https://lyricstranslate.com/en/esta-cobard%C3%ADa-timidity.html
This time I didn’t want to compete with Rosa ;) - even though we have both translated the same songs few times already, but I also like flamenco, so these are the reasons why it’s not here.

I have used some of your suggestions. Only some, because my translation differs as much as possible from Rosa’s. It would be interesting to know what you think about my rendition.

I have commented only one thing. All the rest seemed to be fine, so I was a bit shocked after reading your comments, Tom.
Well, one never stops learning.

One thing has surprised me: “no se da cuenta” literally translated it’s “she doesn’t notice (realize)” without “it (that)”, but in English if you drop it at the end of the line (as you suggested) it sounds really strange for me and creates confusion. I’m not a native speaker, so perhaps I shouldn’t comment that, I just want to tell you how I feel it.

And now for something completely different: “mistakes” in the languages we learn - I mean grammatical mistakes that you have mentioned. First of all let me tell you what I’ve heard from one of most known Polish travelers Wojciech Cejrowski (http://www.cejrowski.com/en/cv/):

“It doesn’t make sense to learn foreign languages. It’s a waste of time. You see, in every land there’s a different language. Just imagine you learn English and you travel to China… It’s a ridiculous situation when two people try to speak the language that is a foreign one for both of them.”

That was of course a joke. El que habla dos lenguas vale por los dos. This is what he said on another occasion.

I agree that as long as mistakes doesn’t influence the meaning and don’t lead to misunderstandings they are trivial. That applies especially to the spoken language, but not necessary to our translations. I believe they should be as perfect as possible, though… one has also to remember that in poetry - in any language, but from my experience especially in English - the grammatical rules are not always obeyed. So… sometimes it’s difficult to say whether the grammatical incorrectness was a mistake or was it intentional, because the translator tried to keep the same style as in the source lyrics, that was not 100% grammatically correct.

Andrzej

michealtmichealt    Cmt, 26/09/2015 - 23:38

Hi Andrzej, I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner; unfortunately I let my most of the auto-recovery options didn't work (it wouldn't even permit me to revert to Windows 8.1, which in theory is guaranteed possible when you upgrade); it would let me re-install windows 10 (the nuke option, which would ditch all my programs and permanently preclude reverting to 8.1) but that left it in a pretty awful state - it just stops doing anything for a few minutes every now and again, with zero CPU and networjk utilisation - so I'm still trying to fix it, and besides most of teh software I use is on discs in Spain and I'm not going back there until mid-October - and after about two weeks of messing around I decided to dig out an ancient machine (operating system long out of support, no reliable malware control except restricting JScript usage by websites to ones I think I can trust and denying all non-web internet connections) and using that I saw your comment today (15 days after you wrote it).

I'm going to look at your translation of this song and maybe comment on it.

No se da cuenta - she doesn't notice - yes,I can understand why people think that is strange, but of course it is just like the Spanish - "no se da cuenta" doesn't require anything like "de eso" or "de que...." unless the meaning would be unclear without the extra words. Actualy, I don't know how this works in Spanish, when one needs the extra and when one doesn't, and I don't know if there are cases where adding "de eso" would be likely to cause misunderstanding. My other language (gàidhlig na h-Alba / Scottish Gaelic) is very different, there are many ways of saying notice (all involving prepositions as well as verbs), none of them take a direct object, all of them take an indirect object (which has to be in the dative case) and the indirect object is always present (but sometimes invisible because the 3rd person singular masculine prepositional pronoun is the same as the uncompounded preposition used with some of the verbs), so the English rules (and what I unerstand of the Spanish ones) seem quite weird to me unless I think from an English language point of view (and then the gàidhlig language rules seem weird).

AldefinaAldefina    Pzr, 27/09/2015 - 14:33

Hi Tom, don’t worry, for me it’s always the busiest part of the year and I’m also unable to replay to many comments that I should (@Rosa: Please forgive me, I will replay to your comments when I have a little more time, though I guess you know that already, ‘cause it repeats every year). Because of the small business that I run I need to work hard now and I have no time to do anything really serious on LT. It will continue for about 2 or 3 months and then I’ll have more time.

I wonder why you decided to install Windows 10. I was also tempted, but when it already started downloading I came to the conclusion that it was a bad idea to install it. It’s still too early. I can get a lot of problems with the bugs and missing or badly written drivers and some say that it will not be a program, but a service, so you’ll have to pay Microsoft all the time, otherwise your computer would not work anymore - they did the same with the Office. I decided to continue using Windows 7 on both of my computers, ‘cause I believe it’s safer.

Thank you for commenting my translation. I’ll take a look.

celalkabadayicelalkabadayi    Çarş, 18/10/2017 - 19:15

Oooooohhhhhh, what a conversation...... much longer than the song itself.....

roster 31roster 31
   Çarş, 18/10/2017 - 20:16

The last additions really made it so. I wonder if I ever read them!

celalkabadayicelalkabadayi    Çarş, 18/10/2017 - 21:19

I couldn't read all. But its Turkish translation is OK.