I have to say, this translation is a mess. You used all levels of formal to informal speech levels that the translation make no sense.
Please be careful, it is very clear that you used a machine translator to make this translation possible. This is not allowed on the site.
Because Korean is a challenging language, I sugest you refrain from translating to Korean until you are at least "advanced" level.
I am almost "fluent" in the language but until now I have refrained from translating to Korean, in case I make the same mistakes you did.
This is simply an advice, I hope you don't take it the worng way.
This translation may not be 100% accurate, especially if it's an old one
Please credit me if you use my translation in any way or form