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Sab, 23/08/2014 - 02:47
Sweet Latina, querida,
I looked at this one the other day and decided I didn't have time to do it. But I'm glad you did.
Great translation.
Gloria
Sweet Latina
Sab, 23/08/2014 - 06:23
Oh thanks but honestly didn't you find mistakes? I'm always open to get corrections, and I know that I need to learn more, because English is a difficult language with many variants. So, point me out all my errors. :)
Saludos!
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Sab, 23/08/2014 - 22:21
Well, I found a few things I would change. Your English is becoming better and more assured all the time. Now let's get down to the few changes I would recommend:
1. The first line. Don't you think that the meaning is something like "I am looking after your tranquility"?
2. Second line. From afar would perhaps be a little more idiomatic, but I don't think "from far" is wrong.
Chorus, second line. I would leave out the comma.
In the line "look for me that I will always be" I would recommend two changes. First I think I would translate que here as "because" or "for" rather than "that" At the end of the line I would add "here" just for clarity. The reason is that in English "be" would suugest "ser" rather than "estar." But adding "here" makes everything clear.
The line "Don't let anyone know how the place it is" isn't proper English but I don't see the Spanish version in the transcription pane so I don't know how to advise you to change it.
In the line "Look for me there's no time to waste it" I would recommend two small changes. I would put a comma after "for me". I would leave out "it" at the end.
In the line "My life ties up, tangles and get expanded" the grammar isn't quite right because in the context "ties" is a reflexive verb so it needs an object. So I would put "My life ties itself up...."
In the line "And it is not cause of you" I think "cause" is too informal. I would recommend "because."
That's all.
Again, good job.
Sweet Latina
Min, 24/08/2014 - 04:10
Okis, it's done, thanks once again and there you have the transliteration . :)
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Min, 24/08/2014 - 19:20
Good. I still have one or two concerns.
Rel. line 2, I've changed my mind about "far". I think now that it isn't really quite right. I would suggest putting it in either of two ways. You could say "from afar" or "from far away." But to my ear "far" all by itself doesn't sound quite right.
In the chorus I didn't notice before but "get" needs an s at the end to be grammatical.
Now the line that I didn't know how to advise you about: " Don't let anyone know how the place it is". I still don't see the Spanish corresponding line. So I still don't know what to suggest so that the English grammar is right. Please write out for me the corresponding Spanish line.
Pardon my pickiness.
Sweet Latina
Min, 24/08/2014 - 19:45
You mean in the chorus, "I get ..." should I put a S there?
The line in spanish is "Que no se entere nadie como es el lugar"
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Min, 24/08/2014 - 20:49
No, I don't mean that. I see it's really the next verse after the chorus. I mean, "tangles and gets expanded"
Now for that troublesome line. OK, now I understand. I think all you have to do is take out "it" and then you'll have a grammatically correct line.
However, now I'm wondering about the meaning of the Spanish line. Could it be something like "don't let anyone know what the situation is"? "how the place is" doesn't seem to make much sense.
Sweet Latina
Min, 24/08/2014 - 22:52
I think he says que no se entere nadie como es el lugar but imaginatively in her mind, that's my interpretation as he's a memory. He says I'll always be here for you (unconditionally) , he will always be there whenever she needs him, so he said look for me
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Min, 24/08/2014 - 23:00
I understand, I think.
1gaia1
Gracias a una de dos piedras! :)