Jovian Spin - Lust (英語の翻訳)

Jovian Spin – Lust

英語の翻訳

校正待ち

ドイツ語, 英語

オリジナル歌詞

Lust

[R.A.:]

Deine Worte sind mir fremd

(Liebe)

 Pralle Lust, die in mir brennt

(Triebe)

[J.S.:]

  There′s no one to tell what's right or wrong 

'Cause no one knows these times where they belong

[R.A.:]

 Liegt dein Herz dann vor mir nieder 

Mir egal, ich komm′ nie wieder

(Nein  !)

Deine Sehnsucht, meine Triebe 

Brauchen keine wahre Liebe  

[J.S.:]

All they say is, “Make sure there's no flaw” 

'Cause always someone draws the shortest straw  

[R.A.:]

 Liegt dein Herz dann vor mir nieder 

 Mir egal, ich komm' nie wieder

[J.S.:]

  It′s never over

  How did I get so old

 With no relief? 

I cannot stand the words

They make-believe 

This is just an empty promise

 I will never keep 

'Cause every time you say I won′t be able

 I will not believe

[R.A.:]

 Liegt dein Herz dann vor mir nieder 

Mir egal, ich komm' nie wieder

[J.S.:]

All they say is, “Make sure there's no flaw” 

'Cause always someone draws the shortest straw

[R.A.:]

  Liegt dein Herz dann vor mir nieder 

Mir egal, ich komm' nie wieder

  Brauch doch nur Bestätigung

 Ein bisschen Spaß und Ablenkung

 Leg dein Herz da vor mir nieder 

Es sind schon zwei, wir kommen niemals wieder

英語

翻訳

Lust

RA:

Your words are foreign to me

Love

Full of lust that burns within me

Drive

JS:

  There′s no one to tell what's right or wrong 

(Be)cause no one knows these times where they belong

RA:

  Then lay your heart before me

I don’t care, I’m never coming back

Your longing, my urges

Need no true love

JS:

All they say is, “Make sure there's no flaw” 

(Be)cause always someone draws the shortest straw  

RA:

Then lay your heart before me

I don’t care, I’m never coming back

JS:

  It′s never over

  How did I get so old

 With no relief? 

I cannot stand the words

They make-believe 

This is just an empty promise

 I will never keep 

(Be)cause every time you say I won′t be able

 I will not believe

RA:

Then lay your heart before me

I don’t care, I’m never coming back

JS:

All they say is, “Make sure there's no flaw” 

(Be)cause always someone draws the shortest straw

RA:

Then lay your heart before me

I don’t care, I’m never coming back

  Need only confirmation

 A little fun and distraction

 Lay your heart right in front of me

There are already two*, we’re never coming back

The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.

SiHo_92

月, 01/05/2023 - 10:07

Hi, Nemo, you requested proofreading, so here are my suggestions:

—————
each of RA's choruses:
• Then lay your heart before me → When your heart lies in front of me (That's not a demand – only in the very last stanza. Are you native English? If yes, would you tell me when it is correct to use "before" instead of "in front of" as I thought "before" was only temporal and "in front of" only local? Or are they interchangeable in particular cases?)

last stanza:
• Your heart lays before me? → Lay your heart right in front of me. (Here it is a demand.)
• It’s already two → There are already two (In my interpretation the singer says that there are already two complete hearts lying on the ground: perhaps his own heart and the one of another old love [or of the person he's talking to when considering the choruses before that stanza].)
—————

That's all I found. Kind regards, Simon

Nemo Thatch

水, 03/05/2023 - 21:58

Ah, this is wonderfully thorough. Thank you, friend. 💖 In order:

Chorus:

So “before” in English is a term that, in certain contexts, can also used interchangeably with “in front of,” i.e. “kneel before me.” To be blunt, my choice in vocabulary here was more a matter of preference; it read to me as if either term would be appropriate. 😅 Truthfully, I’ve also started confusing English, Spanish, and German sentence structure, so it’s not unlikely that I misunderstood the intended meaning.

Stanza Pt. 1:
I’ll correct that. Thank you. :D

Stanza Pt. 2:
“Es sind schon zwei” So “sind” threw me off a bit here. I read “It’s already two” as in “It’s already in two pieces,” more or less interpreted as a “broken” heart, but I think exactly word-to-word, my brain heard “it are(???) already two,” which is… very incorrect, at least outside of raucous conversation. D: I’ve corrected it. Thank you, friend.

SiHo_92

木, 04/05/2023 - 09:33

Alright, thanks for clarifying! My teachers back in school would always say: "Never mix before and in front of, or else…" :D

About the last stanza:
I also stumbled when reading the German lyrics here. In my opinion, if the singer intended to describe a "broken heart" he'd used something like Es ist schon entzweit or Es ist schon zweigeteilt. But in fact these phrases don't fit the rythm of the song, so perhaps that's the reason he used the other phrase? At least you don't have to follow grammar in original lyrics… #FreedomOfArt ;) On the other hand, "Es sind" is also a common expression for "Es gibt" which means "there is/are", therefore I immediately thought of two hearts when reading it.
In the end, it's up to you which interpretation fits your translation better. (You could also add a footnote for the alternative version.)

Kind regards, Simon