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English
Translation
No Freaking Way Evolution Theory
(No way, no way!) Night after night, irrational around others... A cure? For one, I wish I knew!
(No way, no way!) Having to maneuver with more than just (us) two...!?
(No way, no way!) Stare all you want, these 3 head blank dots are all you'll ever get...?
(No way, no way!) For now, just take five, come inside... "Here" is―
――Welcome to the Shady Side...
U-U-U-Uhmmm... Have you happened to see 'The Light' anywhere around here lately?
E-Er, I just had my sights on it and started walking over, I'm pretty sure...
Yeah...! A super-duper evolved, totally fulfilling life, I'll grasp with my own two hands!
...Or so I say, but if it were to just start right this very second!?
(Ahh... wa, wa, wah... Wa, wa, wa, wahhh...)
I'm the perfected form of a lifelong benchwarmer,
I mean, regrets on my mind every minute, every sec...
Body's so awkward, just that the character I'm playing is a total mismatch!
But, y'know, in front of you, I feel kinda natural somehow...
J-Just a sec, hey, that word...
I wanna head to the same world with you!
(My) Shady Side, (Your) Sunny Side, all swept up in a fated, grand revolution――
For someone like me, there's just...
No way, no way! No way, no way!
One day's just too long to say such a thing and run away!
These shadow-grown feelings end up stretching out towards the sun,
To give up on butterflies and excitement...? (No way, no way!)
This glitter-glitter I forced myself to litter around,
Thinking, "maybe, I'll get you to notice me,"
This heart being whirled around just wants to get closer to you!
――I wanna be a Sunny Side!
(No way, no way!) One by one, I'll catch every person with these eyes!
(No way, no way!) Even two or more? All the more welcome!
(No way, no way!) But if they stare, that's three alarms hot I'm sure to turnnn!
(No way, no way!) Advance to where you are! Where the light shines, your side――
Ahh, just as I thought, I just can't, huh? I only pretended to tryyy...
"Well then, gonna reboot again! Adios, all!" While saying all that inside, I'm going, abahbahbahbahbah...!
Had I had charm, things wouldn't be hard!
Trendy talk? Me and her are complete strangers!
I've got no courage! Words just don't come! Everyone's normal just isn't to me!
But, I still wanna try and appear in your world, these feelings probably aren't a lie!
But, but, of course, I can't, I'm scared, but, but, but, I just can't give up!
This heart's just been all shadows and gloom,
I'd always been weary of being that kind of person...
Now, my own theory of evolution, leaping over both Shady and Sunny Side――
I wanna tear it all off! This label too,
and these rails that seem already set in place!
In youth's springtime only once in a lifetime,
I still want to try and sway!
Both sun and shade, c'mon, let's struggle with all we've got!
Ahh, it's all because this shadow resides with me,
that the warmth of your sun, I understand...
No way, no way... No way, no way...
To say such a thing and run, it's just too short, this one life!
The heart I aimed at you was, all along, the sun itself!
This heart pounding feeling, only for now―! (No way, no way!)
Stuff like the feelings I've piled up in secret,
I haven't told you nearly enough of, still!
Even in an out-of-place backlight, I wanna get closer with you!
――I wanna be a Sunny Side!
And if I tire, well then...
Welcome back to the Shady Side!
(No way, no way!) One by one, I'll catch every person with these eyes!
(No way, no way!) Even two or more? All the more welcome!
(No way, no way!) But if they stare, that's three alarms hot I'm sure to turnnn!
(No way, no way!) Advance to where you are! Where the light shines, your side――
Star Peep✕
Comments
Russia is waging a disgraceful war on Ukraine. Stand With Ukraine!
About translator
The lyrics with the ムリムリ shouts are numerical puns, and the first iteration puns on the amount of characters in Renako's friend group by counting up from 1 to 5 (ひと - 1, ふた - 2, みつ(められても) - 3, よ(うこそ) - 4, こ(こ) = ご = 5), and the mnemonic for an irrational number, √2 (hence the English mnemonic, albeit awkwardly, deployed here), as the word for an irrational number, 無理数, contains 無理, aka ムリ(ムリ), which I am translating as "No way".
陰サイ and 陽サイ likely pun on "inside" and "you(r) side".
I was also debating to translate キミのもと進め as "Advance to your side!" for that reason. (Edit: The translation has been updated to handle this, albeit a bit more clunky and tacked on-ish along with some more lines chosen to get a bit closer to the original Japanese though now abundantly more awkward, which is on me, though.)
Also... MAFUYU's translation is freaking awesome.