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Why I Wanted to Die
I wanted to die because the seagulls were calling by the pier
Floating and disappearing into the shifting waves, taking my past with them as they fly away
I wanted to die because the apricot flowers bloomed on my birthday
If I laid down to sleep in the light filtering through the trees, maybe I could rejoin the earth with the shells of the insects
Peppermint candy, a lighthouse by the harbor, a rusty bridge, bicycles thrown away
By the wooden stove at the station, my heart can't travel anywhere
Today is just like yesterday, and I have to change today if I want to change tomorrow
I know that, I know that, but
I wanted to die because my heart is empty inside
I cry when I feel unfulfilled because I want a meaningful life so badly
I wanted to die because my shoelaces came untied
I'm not very good at retying them, or at connecting with other people
I wanted to die because a boy was staring at me
Kneeling on my bed, I begged forgiveness from my past self
The faint light of the computer screen, the sounds of everyday life from the room upstairs
The chiming sound of the intercom, the boy in a birdcage covering his ears
I'm struggling against an invisible enemy, the Don Quixote of my one-room apartment
And the prize isn't going to be worth it anyway
I wanted to die because people said I'm cold and emotionless
But I cry when I want to be loved because I've experienced the warmth that I'm missing
I wanted to die because the way you laugh is so beautiful
I guess I think about dying all the time because I take living too seriously
I wanted to die because I hadn't met you yet
Knowing that people like you were born into this world, I like it just a little better
Knowing that people like you are alive in this world, I have a little bit of hope
nobodyinparticular✕
Translations of "僕が死のうと思ったのは (Boku ga..."
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Russia is waging a disgraceful war on Ukraine. Stand With Ukraine!
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