Bonjour Taylor, voici certaines choses dans ta traduction que tu pourrais mieux améliorer. D'abord, dans les refrains, là où il y a ''Forget you/
Closing my eyes just a little bit'' tu pourrais mettre respectivement ''To'' et ''By'' respectivement. Quant à la ligne ''But I have you on my skin'', Je mettrerais ''in my skin''. Quant à ''I have nothing else to do except for dance in the dark'', c'est mieux de mettre ''dancing'' et d'enlever ''for''. Et pour terminer, tu avais à continuer avec ''my eyes'' dans les sections du refrains plutôt que ''your eyes''. Le premier refrain était bien mais il fallait continuer avec ce que je t'ai suggéré.
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Translation
To Forget You
Your fingers like a signature on my skin
A memory of your fingermarks on my body
The boredom that sets in and blurs the scenery
My heart is empty, my head is filled with echoes
Forget you
Closing my eyes just a little bit
To forget you again
But I have you under my skin
Oh! Oh! Oh!
I didn't sleep for at least two days
I just want to drown in wine
I didn't find anything better than a horrible depression
I have nothing else to do except for dance in the dark
Forget you
Closing my eyes just a little bit
To forget you again
But I have you under my skin
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Forget you again again
Put out the fire that's still burning me
Forget you
I did not choose, I can only regret
You took all of me but I would've given you everything
Now that there's nothing left but a sad black hole
I think of tomorrow and I bury you tonight
Forget you
Closing my eyes just a little bit
To forget you again
But I have you under my skin
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Forget you again again
Put out the fire that's still burning me
Forget you
Forget you
Thanks! ❤ | ||
Submitted by La Fille avec le Visage on 2017-05-27
Last edited by La Fille avec le Visage on 2017-07-21
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Marie Carmen: Top 3
1. | Entre l'ombre et la lumière |
2. | Par la fenêtre ouverte |
3. | Aigle noir |
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About translator
Cettefilleaveclevisage@gmail.com
Name: Taylor
Role: Expert
Contributions: 175 translations, 14 transliterations, 339 songs, 2 collections, 1306 thanks received, 49 translation requests fulfilled for 32 members, 2 transcription requests fulfilled, added 3 idioms, explained 3 idioms, left 171 comments
Languages: native English, fluent Spanish, advanced French, beginner Arabic, Portuguese
A bit iffy, but I tried my best. As always, suggestions and corrections are appreciated :)