SweaterCat
Dom, 18/04/2021 - 11:08
Hello! I have some corrections and suggestions for your translation :)
I sit at the wheel -> I'm behind the wheel
This sounds a bit too literal to me
The engine sings -> The engine is singing
In Danish, we don't differentiate between present tense and present progressive
There are ways to denote present progressive, but usually, you'd just use present tense
Its own song -> Its very own song
Missed a word. A minor thing, perhaps, but it gives it a slightly different sound
I know on the road -> Who knows I'm on the way
The pulse is hammering -> The bounding pulse
The way "hamrer" is used, it's more of a quality applied to the pulse than an action
I find that when the "[noun] der / som [verb]" structure is used, the best way to translate it into English is "[adjective] [noun]". Literally, it would be "The pulse which is hammering", but "the hammering pulse" just sounds more natural in English to me
I also suggest "bounding" instead of "hammering". I might be wrong here, it just sounds more natural to me, so I thought I'd bring it up anyway.
The blood is flowing -> The coursing blood
Same as the last one
Also, "flowing" sounds to calm. "Bruse" gives a sense of a fast-running river, so I'd suggest "coursing" instead
I'm alive on the road -> I'm alive and on my way
They say I'm crazy on the road -> They say I'm in the wrong lane
In this context, "gal" means "wrong" rather than "crazy"
It's not because I -> It's not that I
I can't quite explain this, it's not really wrong, but "It's not because I want to hurt someone" just doesn't quite sound right to me
Want to hurt someone -> Want to hurt anyone
"Nogen" can be tricky as it can mean both "someone" and "anyone", but from the context of the song, "anyone" seems to be the correct option
Hoffnung
If you reprint my translation, please credit me by sharing the translation link and my username (Hoffnung)