Resentimiento
Brujita
roster 31
Mié, 20/03/2013 - 21:55
Vamos a ver:
First stanza
* "no se conforma" (don't apply) s.b. "no está de acuerdo con", but seems to be a little long. Other expressions could be "no se ajusta", "no coincide"
* "sospechas", "multiplicaron" (spelling)
Chorus
Notice that here the chorus is a little different
Last stanza
*(second line) "pero yo estaba aquí primero"
*"por qué (why)
*
Chorus
*"malos ratos" (we say it in plural)
*"porque" (because) one single word "...no puedo seguir pretendiendo que NO he tratado de olvidar esto". (You can use "simulando", if you like it better).
Second stanza
*"Parece que no puedo superar cómo me heriste" or "el daño que me hiciste"
* "una otra chica" Say "una chica" or "otra chica". Don't say, "una otra"
*"Pensaba poder" (no "de") ..... "y sé que has cambiado" (optional)
Third
*"Puede ser" (spelling)
*"que nunca vaya" (subjunctive)
*"porque" (because) no accent
Fourth
*"Siempre voy a recordar (spelling and always "a" with the verb "ir"
*"inoportunidad", better would be "incapacidad", "de no valer"
(Bridge) Something is missing here
*" Te amé más que nunca, más que a mi propia vida" ....
Chorus
Notice that here, the chorus, is a little different.
Last stanza
*First line - "but I was here first"
* por qué (why)
* Second line - "ser tratada de esa manera, por ti, por ti" (0ptional)
*Fourth line - "lloré", "he estado llorando" (optional)
*Fifth - "me robaste el alma"
*Sieventh - "Pudiste decirme que no eras feliz..."
*Eight - "que no querías ..."
* Tenth - Tengo que mirarla ..."
Last line doesn't make sense to me. Leave it as is.
Good luck to you!
roster 31
Jue, 21/03/2013 - 21:30
¡Viva!
Still a couple things to make it perfect:
*Fith line - "sospechas" (spelling)
*second stanza - No need of "así" (although you can use it). What you need is "que" (that)
*Fourth stanza - "vaya a". Remember balways "a" with the verb "I
"por qué" , two words (maybe I was not clear before)
* Fifth stanza - "inoportunidad" doesn't go well. I suggested "incapacidad". You can look for another word you like).
You don't need to repeat "hacer", just put a comma.
*Sixth - "Te amé más que A mi vida..."
We don't say "done" very often, I would say "di", from "dar".
Fourt line, "y todo porque.... (one word)
*Last stanza - ...pero yo estaba aquí PRIMERO" or "yo ya estaba aquí"
"ser tratada así POR ti" (by you)
"el alma" (typo)
If you don't think 'I am a pain', I'll read your other translations to see if they need editing.
I hope there aren't mistakes!