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Lady Achilles, or She who distresses the populace.

[Verse the firste.]
Mine habite is to growe in years, but not in wit;
midnights become mine afternoones.
When melancholie1 keepeth its nightly watch, all those
I have shunned stande in the roome.
 
[Pre-chorus.]
Leave me not in mine idlenesse2;
it cometh with prices and vices,
it leaveth me in crisis.
('Tis an olde tale)
I wake and crie oute from a dream
One day, I shall see thou leavest
Because thou tirest of my plots
(For the last time)
 
[Chorus.]
It's me, hey,3
I'm the problem, it's me.
At the gossips' feast4, all are in agreement.
Directly I'll stare at the sunne, but neuer in the mirror.
How tiring5 to support she who plays Achilles' part!
 
[Verse the seconde.]
Sometimes methinks that all others are comely virgins;
And I, but the beaste upon the hille.
Too large to make merry, slowly stumbling towards thy beloved Troy,
Pierced through the heel6, but neuer killed.
 
[Prechorus.]
Hearest thou of my secrete pryde, that I disguised as charitie,
in the manner of an Athenian demagogue?7
('Tis an olde tale)
I crie out and wake from a dream
One day, I shall see thou leavest
And lyfe shall lose its purpose.
(For the last time)
 
[Chorus.]
It's me, hey,3
I'm the problem, it's me.
At the gossips' feast4, all are in agreement.
Directly I'll stare at the sunne, but neuer in the mirror.
How tiring5 to support she who plays Achilles' part!
 
[Bridge.]
I haue oft a dream that my daughter-in-law kills me for the money
She thinketh I haue bequeathed to them in my will;
The familie gathers and reads it
and presently, somebody crieth out:
"She laugheth up at us from hell!"
 
[Breakdown.]
It's me, hey,
I'm the problem, it's me.
It's me, hey,
I'm the problem, it's me.
It's me, hey.
All agree, all agree.
 
[Chorus.]
It's me, hey,3
I'm the problem, it's me.
At the gossips' feast4, all are in agreement.
Directly I'll stare at the sunne, but neuer in the mirror.
How tiring5 to support she who plays Achilles' part!
 
  • 1. "depression" did not have its modern sense in these times
  • 2. The phrase "own devices" does not appear consistently until the late 1600s
  • 3. a. b. c. "Hi" was first recorded in English in 1862, but "hey" is much older.
  • 4. a. b. c. Believe it or not, a Shakespearan coinage from the Comedy of Errors
  • 5. a. b. c. The word "exhausting" is not common until the late 1600s. Also, I'm not sure the phrase "it must be ..." was used in its modern sense then - it seems to be more of an instruction or a statement of requirement.
  • 6. Because Achilles. I couldn't resist
  • 7. I originally thought of "privy councillor" as an analogue to "congressman" but that stuck out given the theme of Achilles. "(Roman) Senator" would be OK but not great. I think "demagogue" works best.
Original lyrics

Anti-Hero

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