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    Von den Elben → English translation→ English

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By the elves

Many a man is bewitched by the elves.
Thus have I also been bewitched
By those of greatest charm towards a man.
But if she'd rather spite me for it,
And vent it, might she boil to take revenge,
But does she what I ask her: she would so pleasure me
That I would well dissolve in bliss.
 
When her bright eyes so turn
That they look right through my heart,
Whoever then were to stand between us and so annoy me,
He shall see all his glee put to an end!
I'll stand and wait for her, my joy,
Like the little birds do for the day.
When shall I ever experience love?
 
Original lyrics

Von den Elben

Click to see the original lyrics (German (Middle High German))

Comments
QuestionfinderQuestionfinder
   Wed, 19/11/2014 - 02:42
5

Taking into account the improvements, and doing some research myself, I've decided that this translation is deserving of a higher rating than I originally ranked it. Thanks.

TrampGuyTrampGuy    Wed, 19/11/2014 - 14:57

If you'll notice, he used an existing translation from some outside source (given in a link under the translation). Second, I think this translation is not meant to be literal, certainly not word for word, so you should take that into account as well.

QuestionfinderQuestionfinder
   Wed, 19/11/2014 - 20:04

My rating doesn't reflect my opinion of the translator at all (in this case, not a lyricstranslate user), but the translation, which, as is, in my opinion, is not much of a translation. I think the non-literalness of the translation would be more excusable if the result was a good, well structured poem, but it's not, the wording is awkward and as is the poem doesn't make much sense.

robert.tucker.794robert.tucker.794
   Thu, 20/11/2014 - 00:34

Of course, this was something I just found on the Internet which I thought might well be posted on this site too. As you can see from my post of a Modern German translation for this song I wasn't really aware of the sensitivities of those here at the time.

Another measure of a translation though is a comparison between the mental state, mental picture, produced in the reader of the translation and that in the reader of the original.

robert.tucker.794robert.tucker.794
   Thu, 20/11/2014 - 00:10
Questionfinder skrev:

entsén doesn't mean "bewitched" I think it means something like "to die from great longing or unrequited love"

Unless entsén comes from entsinnen, which in MHG can apparently mean "von sinnen kommen".
http://woerterbuchnetz.de/Lexer/?sigle=Lexer&mode=Vernetzung&hitlist=&pa...

Quote:

Also, I believe the wrong pronoun is used, it's not "she" it's "they".

Perhaps it's about the effect the elves have on him/men in relation to women. The elves are sort of in the background while he talks about his relationship with his lady.

QuestionfinderQuestionfinder
   Thu, 20/11/2014 - 03:30

I think the sén part is rather related to "sehnen" in modern german. If you look up "entsén" on that site, "entsennen" comes up, which means "durch sehnen, liebesschmerz umkommen", to die from longing or from love sickness, which makes sense in the context of the song.

The verbs aren't conjugated in third person singular, they're conjugated in third person plural, at least according to the conjugation rules I found for Middle High German on wikipedia.