Hampsicora
Do, 27/04/2017 - 20:51
Hi Gloria,
your Italian is amazingly good. You did almost no mistakes, so, since you requested a proofreading, I can mostly suggest you some more fluent phrasing in some points, but you did a good work overall.
Anyway, keep in mind that I don’t understand Albanian.
Non posso crederlo ancora – it’s not wrong but a more usual form is “Ancora non posso crederci”
fida > fidi
che cosa sta succedendo con te:
It’s a bit unclear. Perhaps you mean “che cosa ti sta succedendo” ? or “che cosa ci (a noi due) sta succedendo” ? or “che cosa posso fare con te” ?
fiducia di me > fiducia in me
smetti la gelosia > smettila con la gelosia / basta con la gelosia
tutto ciò che ho per te è l'amore:
This construction is clear but not very common in Italian. It could sound better if you change the order of words “L’amore è tutto ciò che provo per te” or “Io sento solo amore per te”.
te lo dico ancora [una volta]: “ancora” is enough
nessuno può mai > nessuno potrà mai (this type of sentences normally require the future, as they are something like promises)
anche tu l'hai > anche tu ce l'hai
Better: anche tu lo senti / lo provi (per me). In this case “provare” and “sentire” are synonyms.
hanno creato > hanno fatto nascere (“creare” in Italian is mainly referred to the genesis / God’s creation)
non le ascoltare > non ascoltarle (the first form is not wrong but less common)
disputare:
I can’t understand the original meaning but I guess “disputare” is not the right verb in this context.
Some synonyms of “disputare” are: litigare, competere, polemizzare, argomentare, discutere animatamente, contendere.
Maybe “perché dovrei litigare con te senza una ragione?”
Tutto quello che dubbi > …che sospetti
non c'è una ragione di dubitare: the second part of the sentence is clear but grammatically incomplete. Maybe you can say: non è una buona ragione per dubitarne (meaning: dubitare del mio amore per te)
Or else: Qualunque cosa tu sospetti… non c’è ragione per dubitarne
convincerti > convincitene
prosegui > continui
un giorno quando > un giorno che
possibile di continuare > possibile continuare
A last thing. “Paranoid” (line 6) is one of the few words I can understand, but I don’t see its Italian corresponding (paranoico).
But perhaps it’s just a fussiness and I'm the one who is really paranoid ;)
CherryCrush
Barbara Contato

Thank you very much for your time reading my translation! I would be more than happy to hear your comments and suggestions for the improvement of my translations.
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