Engels vertaling

Hello, there are some mistakes in the translation, mostly with conjugation. It'll be great if you found the time to review them all.

身を隠すようにして踊る。Here, the ようにして isn't really the same as ように, in which case your translation would be correct. It's the most close to "by" not "as if". An example I took right out from a site as 両腕で抱くようにしてとどめる. It really has no English equivalent, as it's a dramatic/comparative way of saying "By doing A, in reality, he was doing B!" A technically correct but ugly example I found is: "to [verb a] in a way that is suggestive of [verb b]". Also, "dancing" isn't compared to "hiding", it's the other way around.

Personal preference here, but I really don't like how you connect the phrase "Nonsense and lies, are ways to protect myself". When you listen to the song, there's always a cut between the first part, and the second part. It's a dramatic pause, letting the listeners fully take in the "Nonsense and lies". So, duly, one could add a hyphen between the parts: "...lies - They're ways..." for example.

イって isn't "say" as in 言って。It means to reach ecstasy/euphoria/orgasm.

"I mean, I'm telling you, I was waiting, this world isn't moving" -> There's no "I'm telling you", and いたって implies a condition, as in "even if I wait". いたのに implies a past action, in which case "I was waiting" would be correct. Also, 動かない is an active verb, so it implies an action -> "... won't move". "isn't moving" would be the equivalent of 動いていない. It sounds more casual and informal that way.

"Thoughtlessness cut and pasted, that kind of fakery's not enough!" -> It's a bit ugly, "Thoughtlessness" and "fakery" aren't any of the words used in the original. めったぎる is "slash apart" or "furiously cut apart". 真似事 does imply fakery, but you know it's leaning on the "imitation" or "copying" nuance when there's "cut and paste" right before. Personal preference, but "that kind of" could be condensed into "such a", if the amount of syllables doesn't quite match the original.

”Wearing only fashionable nails and trendy colors" -> Bit ugly as well, 纏う is more poetic than just "wearing". It's like "surrounding oneself with", or "cloak oneself in", you know? Just image search the word and you won't believe how many artsy stuff it comes up with. Also, "fashionable" doesn't really have the derogatory punch as "流行り". When someone says, "Wow you're fashionable!", it sounds like an endearing compliment. But if you say "Wow, you're in fashion!" it sounds satirical. Maybe, "nails in fashion" and "trending colors" would befit the irony.

Personal preference, but wouldn't "There isn't any.." be more dramatic than "There's no.."?

Next lines, "Eats up humans' unhappiness." isn't really classy enough for the word ”ご馳走”, it's a grand meal, and also not a verb, but a noun. So it doesn't really personify the world from the line before, not attracting too much attention on it. "Has X for dinner" would be more appropriate, I would find.

バカなフリするから騙されてね -> "Stupid" is always too derogatory to use it on yourself, even if it's ironic or self-deprecating. "Clueless" is a more "honorable" one. Also だまされてね is NOT "trick me", that would be だましてね. It means "be tricked".

能ある蛇は毒を胸のうちに隠すの is a twist on the idiom 能ある鷹は爪隠す. It's like "intelligent people don't have to announce it" Anyways, "close to the chest" is too intimate. "Within their breasts" sounds rightly more incriminating. Clever sounds more derogatory than Smart, and "hide their poison/venom" would be more dramatic than "keep".

"...but the color of my cheeks is calculated" -> It's a bit too rigid for an alluring phrase, I mean would one say that in a movie? Mix something with "but it's all part of the plan" or other.

色恋 isn't "love affair" it's simply just lust/love.

"Lead me to.." is giving too much credit for what "連れてって" has to offer in terms of inviting someone to take the lead. It just simply means "Bring me to.." which would sound more intimate and including. "この体暴く" is indeed revealing, but it's in a brutal fashion. The character should reveal enough. But I can't really find an equivalent. Also it's "to an impulse" and not "in an impulse"

狙いさだめ is NOT a verb+noun! it's a single verb! 狙いを定める. It's to determine your aim, or "set" your aim, as 定める implies.

" this world is a thing I've been able to enjoy" > I don't know where you got that from. It doesn't mean the original at all.

"身勝手に転ぶ" Here, the に isn't "to". 早急に解決 、華麗に飛ぶ - examples like these should show you that it's an adverb connector, or "-ly" suffix in English.

"騙されてもいい" doesn't imply a pronoun. "it's okay to trick me" does. I'm fine with being tricked doesn't imply a pronoun. When something implies a pronoun, it really messes with the nuance of the song, especially if it's "You", the listener feels as if he/she's being addressed when they're not. By not implying any pronoun, it shows that the singer doesn't give a shit who actually tricks her into anything. It carries on the depraved defeatist tone of the phrase.

"鳴らす銃声" isn't a passive verb, "rings out" is. The omitted pronoun here is first-person.

Upon reviewing it may seem overboard, but when the little imprecisions stack up and it doesn't feel like you're listening to the same lyrics (which is the impossible ultimate goal, really) so I hope you somewhat understand where I'm getting at with these corrections. That being said, while grammatical mistakes are mostly indisputable, I'd love to hear your takes (especially on my personal preferences) or any instance where you did sacrifice grammatical correctness to prioritize something better.