Η Νεράιδα

Γαλλικά

La Fée

Moi aussi j'ai une fée chez moi
Sur les gouttières ruisselantes
Je l'ai trouvée sur un toit
Dans sa traine brûlante
C'était un matin, ça sentait le café
Tout était recouvert de givre
Elle s'était cachée sous un livre
Et la lune finissait ivre

Moi aussi j'ai une fée chez moi
Et sa traine est brûlée
Elle doit bien savoir qu'elle ne peut pas
Ne pourra jamais plus voler
D'autres ont essayé avant elle
Avant toi une autre était là
Je l'ai trouvée repliée sous ses ailes
Et j'ai cru qu'elle avait froid

Moi aussi j'ai une fée chez moi
Depuis mes étagères elle regarde en l'air
La télévision en pensant
Que dehors c'est la guerre
Elle lit des périodiques divers
Et reste à la maison
A la fenêtre, comptant les heures
A la fenêtre, comptant les heures

Moi aussi j'ai une fée chez moi
Et lorsqu'elle prend son déjeuner
Elle fait un bruit avec ses ailes grillées
Et je sais bien qu'elle est déréglée
Mais je préfère l'embrasser
Ou la tenir entre mes doigts
Moi aussi j'ai une fée chez moi
Qui voudrait voler mais ne le peut pas...

Δες το βίντεο
Try to align
Ελληνικά

Η Νεράιδα

Έχω κι εγώ μιά νεράιδα σπίτι μου
στην υδροροή
τη βρήκα σε μια στέγη
με το φόρεμά της καψαλισμένο.
ήταν πρωί, μύρισε τον καφέ
όλα τα είχε καλύψει η πάχνη
τρύπωσε μέσα σ' ένα βιβλίο
και το φεγγάρι μεθυσμένο έδυε.

Έχω κι εγώ μιά νεράιδα σπίτι μου
και το φόρεμά της είναι καψαλισμένο
πρέπει να γνωρίζει καλά πως δε μπορεί
δε θα μπορέσει ποτέ πιά να πετάξει
κι άλλοι το προσπάθησαν πρίν από κείνη
πρίν από σένα ήταν μια άλλη εκεί
τη βρήκα να μαζεύεται στα φτερά της
και πίστεψα ότι κρύωνε.

Έχω κι εγώ μιά νεράιδα σπίτι μου
κοιτάει με ύφος ανάμεσα απ' τα ράφια μου
την τηλεόραση και σκέφτεται
ότι έξω έχει πόλεμο
διαβάζει διάφορα περιοδικά
και μένει σπίτι
στο παράθυρο, μετρώντας τις ώρες
στο παράθυρο, μετρώντας τις ώρες

Έχω κι εγώ μιά νεράιδα σπίτι μου
κι όταν πάρει πρωινό
κάνει βουητό με τα καψαλισμένα φτερά της
και ξέρω καλά πως είναι άτακτη
όμως μου αρέσει να της κάνω χάδια
ή να την κρατώ στα δάχτυλά μου
Έχω κι εγώ μιά νεράιδα σπίτι μου
που θα ήθελε να πετά, μα δε μπορεί...

Υποβλήθηκε από AthenaOpera στις Παρ, 05/11/2010 - 01:23
Σχόλια συντάκτη:

i did the best i could. i read another translation of these lyrics, which was in english, and it seemed to me quite amateurish. i think this one is better, but still there are some things i do not feel certain about.. anyway, i think this translation will do the job... if you find a mistake, and you are sure can correct it, please do so.

εκανα οτι καλυτερο μπορουσα. διαβασα και μια αγγλικη μεταφραση αυτων των στιχων ομως μου φάνηκε πολυ ερασιτεχνικη. νομιζω αυτη εδω ειναι καλυτερη, αλλα και παλι ειναι καποια σημεια για τα οποια δεν ειμαι σιγουρη... τεσπα, νομιζω παντως πως αυτη η μεταφραση θα δουλεψει... αν βρειτε καποιο λαθος, και ειστε σιγουροι για την ορθοτητα της διορθωσης σας, παρακαλω διορθωστε το.

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Σχόλια
maëlstrom     Νοέμβριος 17th, 2010

AthenaOpera έγραψε:
i read another translation of these lyrics, which was in english, and it seemed to me quite amateurish. i think this one is better

Hello, assuming that "quite amateurish" English translation was mine, there's something I can't understand. How can you compare it with yours whereas yours is in Greek and mine in English :confused: It doesn't make sense. Furthermore, why didn't you let me know that you found my translation incorrect? You're free to post a comment and point out what you consider wrong or add your own English translation. Please explain me...

AthenaOpera     Νοέμβριος 17th, 2010

i hope you were not offended.. i thought it's amateurish because it is not as artistic as it should be, given it's a poem. and that "artistic" character a poem has or hasn't, isn't something that has to do with languages but with the feeling a text arises. so i didn't think it was right to comment on your translation saying "... this is wrong and should be like that..", because in fact it is a correct translation.. but i personally would have avoided using phrases as "On the streaming gutters" or "the moon was ending up drunk" or "That outside it's war" or "miscellaneous periodicals", not because their meaning is incorrect, but because they remind me of a prose and not a poem. for example instead of "miscellaneous periodicals" i would have used "various magazines" or instead of "the moon was ending up drunk" i would have used "and the moon drunk it set"... i do not believe my opinion is better than yours or something, and many people would say that i refer to mere details here, but since i am studying translation, i can't help it!

    Νοέμβριος 17th, 2010

I understand what you're saying. I think the problem many translators fall into, myself foremost, is writing things quite literally. But this may be due to not having a natural understanding of the flow and emphasis of a foreign language. For someone who doesn't grow up in a bilingual environment, this takes years to develop. (I am not commenting on you, maëlstrom, right now - I don't know anything about your history of language studies besides the fact that you speak French and English fluently and study a heck of a lot of other languages.) Another problem we face is trying to capture concepts in their entirety, which can sound beautiful in one language and awkward in another.

I wouldn't consider maëlstrom's translation 'amateur', but rather I would consider the people who can truly master more than one language and convey everything eloquently - outstanding. Smile I guess for me, I don't look for an amazing equivalent when it comes to translations, because I don't ever really think a person will get the full picture unless they understand it from the original language. Translations are more like a guide. (Yes, some are better than others, and we should try to give them some quality.) But in some sense, it's like comparing apples to oranges.

On a sidenote, maëlstrom's translation does have a poetic feel to me. 'From my shelves she looks down...', 'And when she takes her breakfast...'

Mauler     Νοέμβριος 17th, 2010

Hi, consider the fact that most translators are not poets and do not translate poetry. Poetry is sophisticated, so most poets do their art in their mother tongue only (that's really hard enough!) Translating poetry is not only the non plus ultra, but sometimes it's an almost "impossible mission" Smile

maëlstrom     Νοέμβριος 17th, 2010

@AthenaOpera
I see. I guess French learners tend to seriously overrate French music in comparison to what it actually is. I was not offended by what you wrote, but the word "poem" made my hackles rise. These lyrics have nothing to do with poetry. What makes you think it's "poetic"? The word "fairy"? Because, I can't think of anything else. France may have had a great litterature and a particularly remarkable poetry in the past, but it ceased being so almost a century ago. Most of French songwriters think employing the words printemps and hirondelles allows them to rank with Racine or V. Hugo. This is insanity. Moreover they have the annoying habit of simply being nonsensical. Although I majored in litterature in high school, hoping to become a French teacher later, there are lashings of French songs I can't comprehend because they are either full of grammar mistakes or the lyricists attempted to express some lines in such inventive ways, I never have a clue what they possibly mean! Some contend that lyrics are merely open to interpretation. If so, why would I be able to analyse and comment on a poem by Mallarmé yet stuck in some lines from the last fashionable pop singer's hit??
Back to La fée:
La lune finissait ivre sounds like it's not in the right song, it obviously doesn't even fit the pattern. I can't make head or tail of it... I opted to translate it so litteraly because I can't take the liberty to interpret - or rather misinterpret - such a fuzzy sentence that was meant to be poetic and doesn't mean much (to me at least).
Des périodiques divers : "miscellaneous periodics" / "various magazines" - if that's not a matter of taste, then there's something worringly wrong...
Dehors c'est la guerre : what do you suggest?

Edit - @Lumi and Mauler
It goes without saying that I'm open to all your suggestions, but please, just stop using the word "poetry", because I consider comparing such a trite text with poetry as an insult to litterature...

    Νοέμβριος 17th, 2010

Wow, that was ridiculous.

Either the word "poetic" (I didn't say 'poetry') has a different meaning in our countries, or we have vastly different views of what is poetic. She might be picking on your translation because certain phrases sound awkward in English (although I don't know if they also sound awkward in the French version):

"And the moon was ending up drunk" -> "And the moon ended up drunk"

"She must surely know she cannot / She'll never be able to fly again"
Are these two lines supposed to connect? If not, the first one sounds disjointed.

"At the window, counting hours" -> "At the window, counting the hours"

"But I better like kissing her" -> "But I like kissing her better"

Not to mention that the suggestion of "and the moon drunk it set" makes no sense in English, either.

And let me just say, I view song lyrics as a type of poetry. I don't consider them trite, nor inferior to other literature, and if I were to do so, it would be for a song with much less quality than this.

So I suppose this should be a lesson that you should not make idle comments about other translators/translations on here (calling someone an amateur really does sound snide), but rather post constructive criticism, or risk invoking a war. And I agree - how can you feel your Greek translation is better than his English one when they're two different languages? Language is not just language, but also culture.

I'm through trying to defend/diffuse things in useless debates like this.

AthenaOpera     Νοέμβριος 17th, 2010

hello to everyone, again. i truly hope this will not turn up to become a war here. so, i am going to answer to everyone, if that's possible, which i think not.. anyway... maëlstrom, since as i say in my profile i am hoping to become a professional translator one day i HAVE to stick to details. and because i am a musician myself and a lyricist, and this is music we are talking about, i think i can answer to you in perfect honesty. if the lyrics of a song are poetry or not, who can judge it? who can judge something that is definately art and label it? no one of course. i used the term "poetry" because these lyrics have rhyme and an inner melody, making them appropriate to become lyrics for a song. but don't these characteristics fit to a regurar poem as well? i personally think that these lyrics are poetry, not because they have rhymes, but because they arise feelings and this is the number one characteristic for me, that we should take into consideration before labeling something as and artistic text. it may be an everyday song and saying everyday stuff but the way it does, makes it feel like poetry. this is surely just my opinion of course. as for how i would have translated the phrase "Dehors c'est la guerre", i would probably had said "there is a war going on outside" or "a war takes place outside". it is not as poetic as it should be, but it makes more sense in english i think. anyway, i didn't pereive our coversation as a debate for not even a second. i think we are rather civilised and polite and only good can come out of this.