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Translation
Grandfather
Grandfather one day, when he was very young,
out there, in his Galicia, looked at the horizon and thought
that, perhaps, another path could exist.
And to the Northern wind, that was an old friend,
he talked about his haste, he showed him his hands
that, mild and strong, were empty.
And the wind told him, build up your life
behind the sea, out there, in his Galicia.
And grandfather one day, on an old boat
left Spain, grandfather one day,
like so many others, with so much hope.
The beloved image of his old village
and its mountains, he took along, engraved
very deeply in his soul, when the old boat
took him far away from Spain.
And grandfather one day, mounted
the 'build up your life' cart, grasped the plow
fertilized the soil, and time went on.
And calmly he fought to plant the tree
that he so badly wanted, and grandfather one day
cried under the tree that finally was blooming.
He cried happily when he saw his hands
that, a little bit older, were not empty.
And grandfather then, when I was a child,
talked to me of Spain, of the Northern wind,
of his old village, and of its mountains.
He liked so much to recollect the things
that he carried engraved very deeply in his soul
that some times, in silence, without saying a word,
he talked to me of Spain.
Grandfather, one day, when he was very old,
very far from Galicia, took my hand,
and I realized that he was already dying,
and, then, he told me with little strength
and even less rush: "Promise me, my son,
that to the old village you will go one day,
and you will tell the Northern wind, that
his old friend to a new land surrendered his life.
And grandfather, one day, went to sleep forever
without returning to Spain, grandfather one day
like so many others, with so much hope.
And, on time, I saw grandfather on the villages,
I saw him in the mountains, in every morning
and in every legend, along all paths
that I walked in Spain.
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Submitted by 
roster 31 on 2016-09-22
roster 31 on 2016-09-22Last edited by roster 31 on 2016-10-12
roster 31 on 2016-10-12✕
Alberto Cortez: Top 3
| 1. | Cuando un amigo se va |
| 2. | Volverán las oscuras golondrinas |
| 3. | Callejero |
Comments
roster 31
Wed, 12/10/2016 - 16:25
O,K, Tom, let's see:
Stanza 1 line 3 - I should have known that (because I know). "Could exist" goes well with me.
Stanza 2 line 3/Stanza 2 line 3= Good. Appreciated.
Stanza 3 line 1 - Good.
Line 5 - That comma shouldn't have been there, It's a typo.
Antepenultimate line: "every morning" - Fine. I'll include "on".
Thank you for the lesson ant the stars.
About translator
There are a few things which I think are less than perfect, but despite that this is an excellent translation.
Stanza 1 line 3: "would exist" is "future of past" corresponding to spanish conditional, doesn't work for Spanish imperfect except perhaps in contexts where it can be seen as habitual past (which it can't be here). Translating as "existed" (the closest to a literal translation of "existía") would be reasonable, but because of the "perhaps" so would translating as "might exist" or "could exist" and one of those might actually better than "existed".
Stanza 2 line 3: "many" -> "so many"; I guess many is OK if there's a metric justification for it, but I don't see one.
Stanza 2 line 4: "loving" -> "beloved" or "much loved" (the image doesn't love, the grandfather loves it).
Stanza 3 line 1: "mounted on" -> "mounted" (unless you really mean "montado sobre le carreta").
Syanza 3 line 5: "he," -> "he". That comma turns "so badly wanted" from a verbal phrase to an adjectival phrase.
Antepeultimate line: "evey morning": it means the right thing, but it's a pity not to repeat "in" as does the spanish, and "in evey morning" is acceptable english, although confined to poetical or literary use in contexts like this one (so definitely not everyday conversational english). Your call, you choose which register to shoot at.