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English
English
Wake up and smile,
It's all worthwhile.
This is the perfect town!
I am the mailman,
I deliver mail.
This is the perfect town!
I am the plumber.
Plumb, plumb, plumb.
This is the perfect town!
I'm a friendly neighbor,
neighboring around.
This is the perfect town!
Nothing bad ever happens.
Nothing bad ever happens.
Nothing bad ever happens
In our perfect town!
I just came from Denver,
I'm a sex offender.
This is the perfect town!
I am the teacher,
Teacher-ing about.
This is the perfect town!
I am the pastor,
Catholic devout.
This is the perfect town!
I won't touch your children,
That's without a doubt.
This is the perfect town!
I had a line here,
But I'd rather not.
This is the perfect town!
Nothing bad ever happens.
Nothing bad ever happens.
Nothing bad ever happens
In our perfect town!
Who wants some tea?
I'll make some tea!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
And me.
But first.
I have a piece of paper,
I'd love for you to sign.
Just a legal obligation,
It shouldn't take much time.
It says that you acknowledge,
I'm allegedly accused
Of going to a middle school
And kicking off my shoes.
Okay!
If we sign your piece of paper,
Can we go back to our lives?
Do you guys smell those apples?
I'm gonna go make some pies.
Oh well!
Oh!
Every couple months,
An officer stops by.
He'll asked a couple questions.
You'll say,
I'm an awesome guy!
I'll also need a job
I'm fantastic with my
Hands!
I'm also pretty forceful,
If you get into a jam.
Have you heard of Springfield?
It's just around the bend!
But this is the perfect town.
Or the busy city,
The nightlife never ends.
This is the perfect town.
I'll give you all my money,
If you find another town!
But this is the perfect town!
I'll give you a blowjob,
I'm the best around.
This is the perfect town.
Nothing bad ever happens.
Nothing bad ever happens
(Something bad's about to happen!)
Nothing bad ever happens
In our perfect town!
Ah.
I get it.
You all just sing and dance.
No one makes mistakes,
No one gets a second chance.
But maybe I've really changed.
Maybe I realized I was wrong.
Would you open up your hearts
And let me sing this lovely song?
No!
dddunkiComments
As seen in I Mostly Blame Myself at the Players Theatre in NYC.
Sketch title: Perfect Town
Written by: Nick Shanman
Music by: Justin Cooper
Starring: Justin DeSilets, Kaya Simmons, Sean Mana, Nick Shanman, Allison McHugh, Emma McKeen, & Nicky Smigs
Lighting Designer: Patrick Moriarty
Sound Engineer: Shino Frances