roster 31
Wed, 21/08/2013 - 16:28
Very good, Dionysious.
Suggestions:
I, personally, would translate the title directly from the original: "Scent of gardenias". Does it sound all right?
If you say 'candor' instead of 'innocence', it would rhyme.
Second and fourth stanzas: 'therefore', could it be "that's why"?
Thank you for your good work.
dionysius
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Evander