
The translation is good but may I suggest a couple of things...
Apartment is empty but we're here, -> The lodgement is void, but we're here (this is better for the rhythm)
It's not much in here, yet we still are. -> There's not much in here, save that we're/There's not much stuff, yet we appear (though your rhyme is singable too, and it coressponds better to the original meaning)
And, BTW, your 'pith' without 'the' may look a bit weird to natives, so it might have been better to sacrifice the 'and' in that line...
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