• Turmion Kätilöt

    превод на английски

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английски
Превод

Notebook

When in silence I remember
Our past life,
Its path on which side
Grew dark roses
 
From them I bind a wreath of sorrow
To your breasts,
On the top of it I put
Thousands of tears.
 
I felt how [my] heart beat harder.
 
Are you there, somewhere in the shadows
The winds of memories whisper
In the darkness they turn into sentences.
I picture you on an icy window,
I dare not breathe
[nor] touch your face.
 
Chest that does not raise anymore,
Lungs that do not breathe
Lips that do not kiss anymore
Eyes [that will] never again burn with frenzy
 
In its hands a motionless corpse
You lost the battle for the cold night
Heart beat harder
Or at least I thought so
 
I wanted it to beat more
 
Are you there, somewhere in the shadows
The winds of memories whisper
In the darkness they turn into sentences.
I picture you on an icy window,
I dare not breathe
[nor] touch your face.
 
You said "Don't cry,
I've been dead [just] for a moment
Soon we'll see anyway."
And I wrap my hands on your neck.
 
Lonely minutes
Turn into years.
Your hand marks
Will remain in my heart.
 
Are you there, somewhere in the shadows
The winds of memories whisper
In the darkness they turn into sentences.
I picture you on an icy window,
I dare not breathe
[nor] touch your face.
 
I write a message in the notebook
I don't want to let go
Nor ever forget
I don't want to ever forget.
 

Преводи на „Vihko“

английски
Изказвания
JonneyNeverMoreJonneyNeverMore    понеделник, 06/08/2018 - 14:26

Hi! First of all there are two mistakes in the finnish lyrics:
Reittä joka ei nouse enää = Rinta joka ei nouse enää
Yön tyhmyydelle hävisit taistelun => Yön kylmyydelle hävisi taistelun

And then as of your translation:
I by no means don't mean to discourage you, but your translation seems too google translate-ish, in the sense that you translate words in a literate fashion, instead of trying to translate "the bigger picture" which means the sentences and the stories they tell.

So overall the lyric translate is not good (except the chorus, that is quite well done.). But when talking about the separate translations of words, those are quite correct.
Keep on training, and focus more on the subject of translating complete sentences instead of words

lymer5lymer5
   петък, 14/12/2018 - 09:16

Thanks for the feedback.
My Finnish is intermediate at this point, so my skills to translate the bigger picture are limited. Which is why I requested proofreading.