evfokas
michealt
Thu, 08/10/2015 - 22:18
The last two lines of the first stanza are bad English, that word "if" needs to move up to the beginning of the first of these two lines if they are to be anything like normal English usage.
In the last stanza, maybe "now" could be added at the beginning of the second verse? It doesn't really matter, but would make the time contrast between this verse and teh 4th of the same staza a bit more obvious (as it is with "ya" in the Spanish text).
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