I've changed a line of the French lyrics, I think you'd like to modify your translation too.
4th line of the 2nd stanza : "On lui offre de la seule" → "On lui offre des linceuls"
(actually I'm not sure this is what she sings, but it makes more sense than the previous sentence)
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And I suggest you some corrections for your translation :
For the last line of the first stanza, "tout doux" isn't about the sweetness of the life, it means "[it] slowly runs away"
For the second stanza, in the expression "vend la peau", "peau" means life, it's not about skinning other people ^^
Some parts of the chorus are missing.